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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Buffet etiquette??

34 replies

Thriving30 · 24/05/2024 12:27

I'm having a little buffet at work to celebrate going on mat leave, and I'm not really sure how much food to buy. I work in a hospital so all colleagues work quite closely together. There will be about 40 members of staff on duty and around 8 have put their name down for the buffet and will be contributing towards it.. These are mainly my close colleagues. I do get on with everyone though! I'm obviously bringing sweet things for everyone to enjoy but I'm also thinking of bringing a few savoury bits as well, but not sure on the etiquette for the buffet in general? I am expecting staff who aren't contributing to help themselves as well which may make it awkward if the people who are contributing have a late lunch and don't get much (or any) food! But equally I don't want it to just be to take something if you've contributed.. How do I handle this fairly? Thanks
Edited to add for context, it's a shared staff room which everyone eats in at different times depending when they get a break, but there's usually 8-10 people on their lunch at the same time

OP posts:
Nigellasstickytoffeepudding · 30/05/2024 07:53

VoteHappy · 30/05/2024 07:43

Someone mentioned it upthread

Oh so people are being expected by the Op to contribute food but only a few have joined in ?

😬
I think organising your own buffet is the issue.
Where I work the outgoing person brings in cakes or someone else organises it for them

Not expected no.

This is very normal in a lot of uk work places. Would be called a 'pot luck' in America. You ask if people would like to join in, if so bring a 'dish' crisps, biscuits, plate of sarnies, packet of sausage rolls ect

8 people have said they would like to join in and will being a contribution. Op is asking how to make sure those who haven't contributed don't eat all the food before those who have contributed get the chance to eat.

This is easy in an office type place where everyone can take lunch together. Not so easy on shift work.

Theredoubtableskins · 30/05/2024 07:54

Thriving30 · 30/05/2024 07:25

Strange is an odd choice of word to use. It's a really good excuse for a buffet which my workplace really enjoys and have done it on multiple occasions, if people bring crisps or a packet of biscuits or something it's still nice for people to have a variety of food to choose from, it's very inexpensive. And it's optional, of course there will be people that don't bring anything, my question isn't about that - it's about the etiquette of a buffet so that it's fair for the people who do bring something, to make sure they get some food!

If your workplace do this regularly then why are you so concerned and confused about how to do it? Just do the same as you always do for it.

Bellevilles · 30/05/2024 07:59

I’d just let the people contributing know the time you’re starting and suggest they tell you if that’s an issue. You can then offer to save them a plate but tbh I don’t think anyone will take you up on that- they’re contributing to your send off, not to ensure they get their allotted share of mini quiche. People just like to know so they can plan accordingly.

RafaFan · 30/05/2024 10:45

VoteHappy · 29/05/2024 18:57

People have to pay to attend a buffet at work for someone going on ML?
How strange

Just take in s few bags of cookies or donuts and leave them in the staff room!

Totally normal in the public sector. I worked in a UK university for years, and any kind of celebration/leaving do was paid for by the people attending (or by one person treating others in their team). The only exception was retirement clebrations, in which case there were strict rules about what the employer could and could not pay for.

ComtesseDeSpair · 30/05/2024 11:16

If only 8 out of 40 colleagues actually want to take part and you’re already concerned that those who aren’t contributing will take all the food, it doesn’t sound like a particularly good or well-liked workplace custom. And what’s wrong with making it clear that those who don’t want to contribute won’t be able to join in the eating? That sounds perfectly reasonable to me, if all you’re expecting is for people to bring something easy like crisps or a punnet of grapes etc then not bothering should indicate not wanting to take part at all.

ShyMaryEllen · 30/05/2024 11:26

Can you send an email saying something like 'Thriving's mat leave buffet will be in the staff kitchen from 12.00 for those who are sharing. Everyone else is welcome to join in from 1.00.'

VoteHappy · 30/05/2024 13:36

RafaFan · 30/05/2024 10:45

Totally normal in the public sector. I worked in a UK university for years, and any kind of celebration/leaving do was paid for by the people attending (or by one person treating others in their team). The only exception was retirement clebrations, in which case there were strict rules about what the employer could and could not pay for.

No I was mistaken
They are contributing food not paying to attend
Except only 8 out of 40 are joining in

I would scrap it @ShyMaryEllen and just take in cookies and donuts.
You can't really just have a buffet for 8 😂

Prinnny · 30/05/2024 14:44

Put a sign up in the staff room X mat leave buffet, date and time then the eight names of who’s contributing and what they’re bringing and that might encourage more to add to the list.

PloddingAlong21 · 01/06/2024 15:41

As 32 people haven’t gotten involved. It is not reasonable they would expect feeding. I wouldn’t go and help myself to food I wasn’t part of.

send an email “for those of you who have contributed the buffet will be paid out from 12”.

Have a nice Mat leave.

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