To ask if there’s any way I can realistically protect my son or is he doomed to be damaged by his dad?

[Howdoto]

I have an almost two year old. Ex is extremely flaky. He’s good when with ds but has let us down so often. I am so worried about ds being aware of this. When he understands the concept of a weekend etc.

I have explained to ex that kids need consistency. He’s not young, has no other kids and no new relationship. He’s just incredibly selfish. I’ve realised he won’t change but worry so much how this will harm ds as he grows. I don’t know how to navigate this? Everything I’ve read says he will grow up with no emotional stability, he’ll be insecure etc. I’m so worried about it and don’t know what to do to protect him.

After my ex let down our daughter one to many times I told him to confirm with me 24 hours before whether he was going to show up or not and if he didn't let me know I assumed it was cancelled and made other plans I stopped telling my daughter when daddy's days were until he confirmed with me the day before. After this twice he let her down in the mornings as went out drinking the night before and I stopped the next contact, with my ex it was all about wanting to control once he realised he couldn't have it he settled down mostly. Once my daughter got to 9 years old it has been her sole decision whether to spend time with him or not and I never said no once she got to 12 all contact went through her unless absolutely necessary she now has the control and at 16 he mostly has to bribe her to go.