To think it’s very awkward for everyone else

[Greenguitar]

If in a small team of 5, the manager is best friends with two of the colleagues? One of these colleagues in particular seems to hear of work updates first, new clients and have access to more opportunities than everyone else. I feel awkward at times and sense my other colleague who is not included in this does too. They were friends before manager became manager of the team, but there are still in-jokes and I feel they are managed differently left to it because of their relationship outside of work.

Has anyone experienced this before? It’s making me feel awkward at times, especially because one colleague seems to enjoy the position and suck up a bit.

How would you deal with a situation like this? Other than keeping my head down I’m not sure what I can do or say

I think it's perfectly fine for a manager to be friends with members of their team, but if they are then the responsibility for ensuring that things like

One of these colleagues in particular seems to hear of work updates first, new clients and have access to more opportunities than everyone else.

does not happen (and to avoid the perception that it is even if it's not).

If your manager isn't avoiding that, then they're not being a very good manager.

Thank you for your reply. I only know of this through that colleague tbh, the manager doesn’t make it clear. But I feel strongly whenever we are all together like there is a weird vibe; even down to the way people walk when we’re heading to a meeting or when two people go for lunch together and it’s obvious it would be awkward to tag along. It’s not that I particularly want to but it’s just the ‘we’re friends’ thing that is tricky

Just bumping again, does anyone have any ideas as to how to deal with this?

It’s obviously very cliquey - I worked somewhere like this ( and I was in charge! ) and lasted three weeks. My life is too short to put up with this nonsense. I found a better job.

Had a similar situation last year.
The woman was a crap manager.
I left, much more interesting role now.
My 'replacement' was back on the job market before I started my new role.

It just feels so awkward as I have been feeling ‘disliked’ (I’m not bothered on a personal level, but professionally feel awkward). I’m now wondering whether or not I actually am disliked or whether I’m just not as liked as the others, and that’s what I’m sensing!

It might help to separate the strands out.

You are seeing this as one issue, but it's several. Work out which bits matter and address them separately.

One colleague is effectively bragging about her close relationship with the boss, knowing things first etc.

Three colleagues are socialising outside work and have known each other for some time.

The boss may be sharing information inappropriately.

You may feel micromanaged in which case you address that directly in reviews, rather than comparing yourself to others.

Thank you. Didn’t think to do this

I don’t think I was liked, but we were very different and I didn’t like them that much tbh. I tried more than they did but it was obvious we weren’t going to be friends. The owner had warned me they were cliquey at the interview and he was right 😆 I don’t think they would have made an effort for anyone and I suspect the same for you - it’s not personal, they just don’t need anyone else.
Still damn rude and ignorant though.