To think this is a pisstake

[Loveriver]

My child's father has become more involved in the past 2 years as he's not single and child is older ! He asked for 2 weeknights and 1 weekend a month. I said that's fine. Anyway he made a big fuss about changing his work pattern etc to do this. My child told me today dads girlfriend drops him off at school then picks him up and sorts him out before bed because dad is in work for 12 hours that day. So one-day his gf is doing everything.

It is a bit, but nothing you can do about it. My ex does the same, makes a huge deal about having the kids for two days at a time, then sends his girlfriend to pick them up, and it's a mixture of her and his parents looking after them while he works the majority of the time.

Only having him so the gf is not questioning what kind of a father her is!

I suppose the most important question is does your child enjoy their time there?

I wouldn't let my children go just to be cared for by his girlfriend. That isn't the point of contact.

Yes he's stuffed with sweets and not told no so he's in his element.

Time to make him responsible for dentist visits then

OP do you not have a partner or other support, ie: parents ,friend's etc when your child is with you?
Is your ex in a long term stable relationship? If so I don't see the problem,as long as your child is cared for. I have a child who loves being with my ex's partner, they get along great and equally I have a partner who helps me out on the occasions I have to work which is great as I have no parents etc to support.Are you annoyed about your ex's girlfriend being involved?

Not annoyed about exs gf at all. I just think that's his time and he made a big fuss about changing his work pattern so he should spend it with his child. If she does it it goes down to 1 day with his child. I am re married my child obvs does spend time with my husband but there is no need for him to pick up and drop and put to bed in case needed. However every week?

Oh I see so he is working every single week on one of his days with your child?

Correct!

Have you spoken to the father about this to clarify if its a weekly occurrence? As I know my child can often misinterpret how frequent and when things happen. If your ex is working 12 hours every single time he has your child on one of his days, then I would be asking if he needs to be changing his work day. As for school drop offs and bed times etc I don't see a problem with sharing this if your in a stable long term relationship, I personally want my partner involved and he wants to be.

Speaking to the father is like trying to push water up a hill

I have been there with the poor communication when I first split with my ex but years later I actually come to realise it was also me who didn't communicate well, it takes 2. We communicate great now which greatly benefits our child. I would definitely be trying to discuss/ communicate this situation to your ex though, to get to the bottom of it ,if it bothers you.If he doesn't want to engage /speak about it then at least you have tried.