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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if Ex wants to buy DD a guitar, he should stump up for lessons?

5 replies

Fubsy · 04/04/2008 21:02

Apparently he has told DD tht he will get her one for her birthday. She has never showed much interest in playing it, but she says he has got one for himself - not that he can play!

I asked her to ask him if he was getting her lessons to go with it, thinking that would be part of the present.

Anyway, she told me today that "Daddy says he gives you money for me, so lessons have to come from that".

WTF! I already pay for gym club, swimming lessons (and will be adding private ones to bring her up to the standard of the rest of her group) and she wants to join Brownies when they have a place.

Now Im supposed to find the money for lessons that he wants her to have!

I know that if I challenge him over this, he'll just go on about me choosing everything she does. But surely if he wants her to do something and he puts the idea in her head, he ought to pay for it?

Im soooo pissed off!

OP posts:
CarGirl · 04/04/2008 21:03

it's something that should have been agreed between the two of you before him talking to your dd. I guess you could give dd a choice between gym club & swimming lessons & guitar lessons?

WiiMii · 04/04/2008 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WiiMii · 04/04/2008 21:08

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Fubsy · 04/04/2008 21:38

I wouldnt have insited he pay for lessons. I was interested in her learning an instrument, but thought his was a bit soon, as she has fallen behind at school a bit since we spearated. She also has a short attention span, so I have no doubt the guitar will live in acupboard. i would just prefer it was his cupboard than mine!

As far as discussing things with me, he prefers to prganise them forst then inform me. He has buggered DDs chances of having a birthday party close to her actual birthday by arranging to take her away for the weekend with his new GF, this also means she will miss one of her friend's parties.

Its all just a PITA.

OP posts:
LittleBella · 04/04/2008 21:59

She doesn't need lessons. She can learn from a book. I have a friend who taught herself that way when she was 11.

If it's important for you for her to have lessons, she can have them once she has learnt to swim and you're not paying for them anymore.

Ignore his comments about the lessons, it is for you to decide what to do with the maintenance he pays for his child.

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