help and advice am I being paranoid

[dannismith]

me And my partner was having a quiet night in and I'm sure my drink was spiked a because after I drank it I started feeling dizzy confused nauseous and disorientated we went to bed and he wanted to be intimate with me I told him no and he said okay and stopped a little while later he tried being intimate with me again and I said no and he stopped he waited a while and tried to be intimate with me a third time but when I told him no he didn't listen to be and carried on having sex with me I told him to stop two more times after he ignored me saying stop when I told him sternly to stop and he did but I told him to stop three times and he ignored me and carried on anyway I need some help and advice as I am not sure if this is rape or sexual assault and I don't know what to do any advice would be appreciated please

Yes it was rape - I’m sorry that happened to you. If it was recent enough you might be able to get a blood test to check for date rape drugs.

I hope you can get away from him and be safe.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not entirely clear from your post, but if he penetrated you at any point after you said 'no' then that is legally rape. Even if penetration didn't happen, it's still predatory and abusive. Drugging you is definitely illegal. It will happen again unless you get out of this relationship immediately.

The normal, healthy way for a man to respond when his partner says no is to stop immediately and without complaint. This is what my partner does. This is surely what you would do if you wanted sex and your boyfriend didn't. Never accept anything less than this ever, for any reason.

None of this is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. You could be dancing in front of him naked and 'no' still means 'no'. This is completely due to him being a terrible human being.

If safe, please tell him to leave asap. If not, is there a friend or family member you can go to? You could also contact women's aid for advice. If this was recent, maybe go to your GP and ask for a drug test.

Wishing you the very best.

I'm so sorry. It was rape and it's absolutely not ok just because he is your partner (which is how he'll try to justify it). All my love to you. I hope you can find the strength to leave.

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. It is most defintely sexual assault - it is absolutely unacceptable for your partner to have continued intiating sexual activity with you after you said no the first time. The fact he initiated it at all knowing that you felt unwell was bad enough.

Please get yourself away if you can.