Did anyone else feel like this going back to work and if so, did it all work out? I’m so so stressed

[rolopolol]

I’ve been back at work 8 months. Went back when dc was 1. I did four days a week initially and next week will be my first full week as I am back five days a week.

Im practically a lone parent as ex left me while pregnant. He does see ds but once a week for a few hours, I’ve literally begged him to help more but he will not.

My work has really struggled. I rush to drop off dc then rush to pick him up. I am constantly stressed about how much leave I have left in case dc is unwell. I feel like I’ve gone from having a great career to hanging on by a thread.

Nobody has said anything yet but I live in fear constantly. I don’t feel like I’m doing enough at work. I do the minimum needed. I often have to leave early for dc. It’s just so stressful and shit. Before dc I was very attentive at work. As a single parent too I have added stress of job security. I just can’t see this improving at all.

Hopeful bump

I had similar. I went back at 4 days and for the first few months felt like i was constantly taking time off for illness. I then moved job to one where I had to be in the office 2x a week (previously I was fully from home) and back up to 5 days. I lasted 3 months before handing in my notice.

Have you spoken to your manager about what you are struggling with? I was very open with mine that I was struggling with the commute and wanted her to flag if I was missing things or underperforming. She said everything was fine but the stress of the commute, having to leave early, juggling which days I was in with which days DH was in was just too much for me.

It must be even harder as a lone parent, I can totally understand how you feel overwhelmed and struggling. If you have a good relationship with your manager it could be worth having a chat? Maybe you could flex your hours, or go back down to 4 days (If they've been managing with you on 4 for 8 months?) You could even talk about doing compressed hours so as not to lose too much pay. Can you work from home?

@reabies I can’t afford to drop any hours really. I’m just not coping at all. I feel permanently stressed and exhausted. I feel like I’m about to be caught out all the time as I’m just not being a good employee. And I’m barely being a good mum as so stressed all the time too

I don’t know whether to just say I feel I’m doing a bad job at the moment

I've managed people coming back from maternity leave who have expressed feelings of stress and also feel insecure about their job performance (which was actually fine). I guess it depends on work culture but I really appreciated them telling me how they felt so I could reassure them and find ways of helping them to manage their workload.

You know your workplace best. Would it help to chat to your line manager?

Have you had any reviews since you went back to work? If not, maybe you could instigate one to set expectations on both side for returning to 5 days.

It would also open up the conversation about how you are feeling at the moment.