To think I’ll never get a new job

[squashandasqueeze1]

Been in the justice sector in various front line roles for 9 years now. Take my hat off to those that do far longer but for me, it feels like it’s reached a natural conclusion. Jobs like this have a shelf life I feel - you can only take so much of seeing and hearing distressing things before you just want some peace!
Roles have always been very intense e.g. prison officer on small high needs specialist units and solely responsible for an offender caseload in the community in another so all of their life problems are yours to work with them on.

Problem is, I can’t decide what job I’d do next (I have ADHD so sadly my brain doesn’t just decide a job. I struggle to think of anything out of the ether and I don’t think it’s financially possible to lose a whole person’s wage for me to go off and study full time). I’d need to see a job to pique my interest or have an experience of it.
Said ADHD also means I can talk myself out of nearly anything - if there’s one negative element of the role / recruitment process, I’ll immediately fixate on that in a panic.

DH says I should just do a little admin job with no stress and limited person interaction and whilst I don’t want such responsibilities or distressing information anymore, I’d also really struggle to just sit in a ‘boring’ job.

The more I stress about it (and the more DH pressures me to look for a new job), the blanker my mind becomes.

Any job ideas out there for someone who’s being a bit useless?! I feel like I’m destined for a miserable work life with no career and frustrated at myself for being unable to just sort it out and go for something!

Are you medicated for the adhd? Could you do a series of temp roles?

Yes I am now, I’ve only recently been diagnosed

I'm glad you're on medication and hopefully that is helping or will start working.

I recommend a series of temp roles because the work (say admin) is pretty easy but you'd have the variety of working in different environments and with different people.

I have to take issue with 'a little admin job'. That's rude and patronising. As for your actual question, it sounds like you're well qualified for lots of jobs once you have your ADHD under control. Is there anything you're passionate about?

"I can talk myself out of nearly anything - if there’s one negative element of the role / recruitment process, I’ll immediately fixate on that in a panic." I don't think I have ADHD but I'm the exact same, for years I've been looking and applying for very few select jobs but always end up panicking and withdrawing or doing badly at interviews. Then regretting it and hating myself for not being brave enough or having messed up the interview. Still, I think YABU, there is always hope. Good luck!

Would you step away from front line stuff and go non-op, or is it still just too much prison? We really do struggle to get good admin people who understand how crucial back office work is to support the people out on the landings, and your experience would be so valuable.

However, if you think you've had it with HMP, there are lots of admin jobs where your ability to do a million things at once will be an advantage. For a while it seemed like everyone leaving HMP went to drive trains. You wouldn't be able to do that if you're on ADHD meds I think but National Rail has a lot of interesting roles.

Jam - Thank you, it’s trial and error although much better. Thanks for suggestions, variety always seems to inspire me.

I’m utilising his wording so I apologise if you have taken any offence - I come from many years in admin before this so know its worth. He is rude but that’s a whole other story.

I love animals and education. I loved English when I was younger and had a place to study it at uni with the aim of being a primary teacher. I deferred it and then never went in the end to get an apprenticeship. Have talked myself out of teaching more recently due to the need to study and it not seeing financially possible.

dog walker?

Looks like the DH has a way of referring to jobs in not a nice way - I too took offence as any job is a decent job and never to be belittled

What about working with care leavers or vulnerable young people? You still get the complex issues but also the positive outcomes.

"he's rude but that is a whole...."

How long and how often is he rude to you??

Civil service job in the MOJ?

How much do you need to earn?
Pastoral work in a school will use your skills and be fast paced for your brain but less heavy hitting in most cases to your previous work, safeguarding lead and DSL deal with the more harrowing stuff.

Do you Ike being outside and a doer? Environment Agency field teams, grounds team for the council, Natural England reserve warden get you out and about and doing practical things.

You have quite a wide range of interests there, I would definitely investigate those. And ignore any put downs. I'd be very wary of that tbh.

Dog walker is one of the considerations I’ve been having. Just had my reservations on what I’d actually need to do and if it’s a saturated market as I’m not from a huge area. Did get as far as asking for some experiences though.

Care leavers - I think I’m ready to completely come away. I really see the value in it but my role now is quite a front line, ‘support’ role and I’ve had a workplace initial assessment where they think I’ve got compassion fatigue and have ordered a full psychological assessment. We have lots of good outcomes now but I think I’m sadly a bit too drained to be encouraged by it anymore.

I loved working in prison - weird as that sounds! As horrendous as what we saw and were exposed to was, there was nothing like it, I just needed a better work life balance for younger child at the time. I remember the mass train exodus - that and Border Force! I’d enjoy that but most roles are far too far away so I only check in with that very sporadically. I definitely always think about going back non-op if something were to come up.

Re. DH - it seems a lot recently. He keeps doing things against how my ADHD presents - e.g. I’ll tell him how it impacts me or a struggle I might have. He then continues to do said thing. He had a raised voice at me earlier because I didn’t immediately answer a question he put to me as I was responding to DS and then my response to him wasn’t in a perfect tone (he was asking me a question he knew the answer to already and I was overstimulated with DS making loud noises and trying to process him talking to me. Plus DD who he was carrying had dropped her toothbrush on the floor so he just walked over it and left it there).

I’ve raised maybe 5 times in a week but countless times more before, for him to stop leaving his clothes strewn around as other people’s mess is an issue for me. Think - taking off a coat, leaving it hung over the banister to then get another coat/hoody out to then leave that too.
Repeat with clothes down the side of the bed because he’s too tired to take them to the laundry basket or changing out of trousers to shorts and leaving the trousers laid out. I’ve been called irrational tonight as it’s not a big problem and how he’s annoyed that I’ve taken his clothes off the airer and left them in a pile which will mean they’ll need ironing (he doesn’t do any ironing for the house).
I’d spent days the other week picking up random sweet wrappers that had apparently fallen out of his pocket and he never noticed, around the house.
I’ve tried to tell him I feel disrespected and asked what he’s teaching our son but it always come back on me being a whiner over nothing and how he’s always left his clothes for some reason like urgently needing to come to help me with something (untrue).

Sorry - I’ve derailed with my DH woes but that really doesn’t help how I’m feeling either.

I hate to say it, but 'D'H seems to be a huge problem for you.

Thanks for suggestions singleandproud.
Outdoors is definitely something that interests me so will look into some of the areas you’ve highlighted. I love practical things - got a lot of riding school volunteering experience over the years.

I need to earn around £30,000.

DanielGault - Yes, I’m starting to see that myself at the moment. I can’t talk about the job issue at home anymore as he just raises his voice and says if I’m not doing anything about it, there’s no point talking about it.

Does he have other issues that you're not allowed to talk about? I'm getting bad vibes .

Mainly anything I’m frustrated about at the minute. It’s always turned on me and why am I making such deals about non issue things.
Life is hard trying to work full time and run a house with 2 children without constantly being surrounded by an adult’s mess.
He had his dad doing our ironing today rather than just offering to do some himself.

Ok, have to be honest but he doesn't sound great at all. What does he bring to the party? You sound worm out.

*worn out!

The husband sounds like a big part of your problem here. Do you know he’s being horrible to you on purpose?

Would you prefer working with people/the public, or on your own OP? The NHS offer a range of apprenticeships. Many are NOT aimed at school leavers and in obscure roles which don't immediately shout healthcare/NHS.

I don't know the pay rates, unlikely £30,00, but just some random ideas: phlebotomist, play specialist, horticulture/gardening/mowing, dog/pet grooming, working at a stables.

It sounds like you need a “responsive” job where things are thrown at you to solve, but in a less stressful and draining environment

Working in a busy school or hospital might suit you? Something where you are troubleshooting - front desk or as a pp said, a pastoral role.

A friend of mine is an equine dental technician. She is expensive and has more work than she can handle. The "back lady" who fiddles around with horses' backs and improves way of going and performance is the same - wildly expensive and booked solid.

Would either of those be an option for you?