to point out advantages of Uni to nephew?

[cosmobrown]

My BIL did not go to uni. They live in the same place he grew up in, and he is generally not well travelled.

Nephew is just taking A levels and taking a gap year next year.
When I last spoke to N, he was full of plans to go travelling and then go to Uni.
Now, he has gone off Uni and I'm pretty sure it's because BIL wants him to live the life he did. He's gone to the same school as his dad, lives round the corner from his dad's childhood home, doesn't have any hobbies (like his Dad).
When you try and talk to him his parents answer for him if they are close by.
AIBU to chat with N and point out some of the good points about Uni? They are well off financially, (but BIL is pretty tight I have to say) so affording it would not be a problem.
I just think it's a great life opportunity to live independently, meet new people, manage your own money etc and earn a degree along the way.
Or should I just butt out?
What would you do?

Once he has done his gap year he will probably have a far better idea of what he might like to do with his life.

Uni isn't the be all and end all.

You are really overstepping here.

You are basically judging his dad's life and telling him not to follow in his dad's footsteps.

You can tell him some tales about enjoying university, if the topic arises, but I think you are being unhelpful to try to make him live life your way.

Depends. I didn't go to uni and I'm happy with that decision. It needs to be up to him though. Not everyone actually wants to go travelling either.

If I could do it all again, I would have delayed university. Sure I had fun and made some good memories, but I faced so much push and pressure to choose a degree course, apply for it, take on student debt, don't stop to think or question it, everyone else is doing it and you don't want to be disadvantaged in the job market.

I would have told my younger self to slow down and choose a useful course that might have actually led to some clear jobs at the end of it. I've been working entry level jobs since I graduated, no employer cares about my degree (in fact I've probably lost opportunities for being overqualified) and I've wasted my one free shot. Let's face it, most graduates are not going to save up and try for another go if they got it wrong the first time.

Your nephew absolutely needs to go travelling. It will mature him in ways university won't, as university is just adolescence but with binge drinking. Then when he comes back, he'll have the life experience he needs to make the choice.

Definitely don't try and convince him to take some random course - if he chooses wrong and doesn't realise this in his first year, he doesn't get a second go around.

Uni is overrated and expensive. If you don’t know the ‘why’ for going a degree it’s pointless. Bar a few highfliers in medical/law etc, my highest earning friends are ones who did not go to uni.
You say your brother is biased, is it possible you might be too?

Depends on what your nephew wants to do long term?
I've found a lot of people go to uni because everyone else does. And the only thing they got was in debt.

I done a vocational diploma and tipped up to a degree and my husband had a degree that Lead to the job that he wanted to do.
The people that have been most successful are the ones that went down the apprenticeship route and have had their degrees paid for by the employer.

There's nothing wrong with living in the same town you grew up in.

You sound a bit judgemental of this in your OP

Well I don't share your enthusiasm for uni tbh. I went, and it was OK, but certainly not the unique, world expanding time of my life its purported to me. The people were fine, but no more interesting or fun than those I grew up with. The amazing student social life was just pubs, clubs and bars, like at home, my course was interesting enough, but I've never had a job that required the qualification i gained. If I had my time over, would I bother? No. I'd have done better to get in the career ladder 4 years sooner.
I have three adult DC. Two went to uni, one didn't. All have are doing well in jobs they enjoy, but the one who started work at 18 outearns their older siblings, has no debt and plenty of spare income for travel.
If it were my nephew I'd maybe discuss to make sure he wasn't being railroaded, but I'd certainly not be pushing uni as advantageous, as that's entirely subjective.