Advice

[Jadee23]

Hi there ☺️just want to get your advice on how i should deal with a situation as it has made me quite upset

me and my partner have 3 children my oldest is not his biological daughter but takes her as his own which i love but sometimes when my daughter is at my in laws or she at family events and people ask who haven’t met my daughter yet who is she and my mother in law says it’s her sons stepchild and when she’s on FaceTime to her family she will show my daughter and say this is my sons stepdaughter and then show my two youngest kids which are biologically my partners and say this is his son and daughter
she says this in front of my oldest and it just makes me upset that my oldest hears this and makes me upset why she just can’t say that his daughter. She’s been in her life since my daughter was 8 she’s now 10

Forgot to mention she has asked my daughter to call her grandma couple times so just wondering if she might not realise

She can’t introduce your daughter as his daughter if she is ten and you’ve only been together two years !
saying step child is fine - you’re overthinking it

How can your DP have only been in your DDs life for 2 years, but you've had two children together in that time. Have I read it wrong?

Thankyou yeah I just wanted to see if I was overthinking it

You're overthinking this. Sounds like she's interested in her and making an effort to include her in spite of not knowing her very long

sorry married for 2 half years but were dating before that have 2 kids one and coming two in June

Sorry, but I agree. He's not been in your daughters life very long and that is factual, she is his stepdaughter. That's not a slur in any way, just fact

I think you're expecting too much. Your mil is simply stating it as she sees it.

But she is his step daughter, and there's nothing wrong with that, it sounds like they have a nice relationship. It's sweet that MIL asked your daughter to call her grandma and sounds like she's making a genuine effort with her. You're overthinking.

thankyou for your comments maybe I have expected to much

She is his stepdaughter

My husband has introduced my dc as his since the day we got engaged, my MIL simply says "This is Foxyaus's dc ...
No need to go into specifics on a casual introduction.

But the other family members will know she’s not his daughter. Presumably she was born before he was in the picture, so the family members know he didn’t have a child, then one appears. They don’t have to have met them before to know who has and hasn’t been born.

You're overthinking this. She's literally just stating facts. Your daughter IS his stepdaughter. Your MIL has asked your daughter to call her 'grandma' so she obviously sees her as part of the family - I really wouldn't worry about this. Your daughter knows your partner is not her biological dad; it's not going to come as a surprise to her.

(Also, you've been with your partner two years and you already have two kids with him?!)