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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parter coming to work at the Same place weird or no

15 replies

Creepyoctopus · 20/05/2024 21:50

does anyone find this weird or is this normal?

YABU - normal, I wouldn’t have a problem with it
YANBU - not normal I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it

OP posts:
good96 · 20/05/2024 21:56

It depends. Are they same department?

Personally, it’d be a no for me (especially the role I’m in) - although you have boundaries it can be difficult when a challenging conversation is needed.

LemonySnickets · 20/05/2024 22:01

I used to work at the same place as my exh. He was there around a year before me. It was a big enough place that we worked in different departments but were on the same floor for a bit. There were loads of couples there as it happened. Wasn't a problem at all.

FlambeJones · 21/05/2024 07:13

It would depend on the circumstances surrounding the change in job as to whether I'd find it weird or not.
For example, Anna is an accountant and a suitable job comes up in the office where Greg works in Sales, not weird.
Anna has always been an accountant but retrains as a hairdresser and gets a job in the salon where Greg works because she thinks he flirts too much with his clients, weird.

pootlin · 21/05/2024 07:16

I would hate this as it feels like a loss of privacy from colleagues.

But we have a few couples at work and they are blasé about it as are other people.

DanielGault · 21/05/2024 07:19

Is there a particular reason he needs to work at the same place as you? Unless there is, I'd find this very uncomfortable and potentially controlling.

SparkyBlue · 21/05/2024 07:19

It depends on the size of the company. In large manufacturing type places it would be common and your paths might never cross at all during the day.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 21/05/2024 07:21

Now DH completely changed industries and came to work where I did, albeit in a different department, he decided he wanted to do something more meaningful and knew about the degree opportunities where I worked because I'd mentioned them.

Over the years we've worked in the same office, at once point had the same line manager and once about ten years ago he interviewed and got my old job after I was promoted! He took over my caseload.

We now work in the same organisation but I'm seconded to a multi disciplinary function and am in SLT, he's seconded to a department working with young people as a senior practitioner, we work in the same building and technically I'm his boss' boss' boss , but the line of report isn't direct. There are lots of couples in our industry, I also manage police and social workers and it's the same there. I think it's similar in lots of hospitals too

ScarfAndGlassesgirl · 21/05/2024 07:22

Dh started working where he still does now in around 2011, loved his job.
In 2014 I was absolutely hating my job it wad making me ill, he said "shall I get you a job at my place....?" At the time I was very young early 20s and it was a crossover customer service role and I said yes...started working there In 2015, dh was sales and I was customer service

We've worked in the same place ever since but I am planning to leave in the next few months,

It's been absolutely fine we've not been in each others pockets we've both moved around and got promoted in that time but never worked in the same department.

Did your DP discuss it with you at all? Have you been saying its a particularly good place to work?

HashBrownandBeans · 21/05/2024 07:24

Me and my DH work in the same department. I’m the controller so get to oversee what he does, but am not his manager. This isn’t the first time we’ve worked together and it’s no big deal to us. When we are at work, we are not married, and I treat him the same as everyone else. Other people here probably find it weird, but we have strong boundaries and it works fine.

Revelatio · 21/05/2024 07:25

Loads of couples at my workplace. It’s quite a full on job, so it’s where a lot of people meet!! It’s never been an issue, most of the time it’s never mentioned. I worked with my partner and a lot of people didn’t know we were together.

Flavabobble · 21/05/2024 07:26

Depends entirely on the circumstances.
They're in need of a job and a suitable one came up at your place at work - fine
They've deliberately sought out a job at your place of work to keep an eye on you - weird

saraclara · 21/05/2024 07:27

I met my husband at work. Once we were married, we both looked for other jobs. But I've worked with other couples and it's never been an issue.

nothingsforgotten · 21/05/2024 07:28

I used to work in the same place as my husband and also used to work with a husband & wife, plus the father of the husband, and also a father, son, and daughter combination. I can't see anything weird about it.

cherryassam · 21/05/2024 07:31

Me and DH have worked for the same company for 7 years - different departments. Never had any issues, and we’re not the only ones. It’s a large company though.

Jk987 · 21/05/2024 07:35

There's a big difference between meeting your partner at work and deliberately applying and accepting a role at your partner's workplace.

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