To never trust the police again

[EasySilence]

I've been dealing with a narcissistic ex for many years,(20) completely controlled every waking moment of my life. When I ate, slept where I went etc and would use threats against me directed at my animals or elderly relatives if I didn't comply. On a daily basis. Every moment of my life was controlled.
Years ago when my ex tried to run me over when I tried to leave a friend of mine rang the police saying enough was enough.
But what actual happened was the police made me apologize for wasting their time (my ex works in a well respected job) the very next day my ex smashed up everything i had and I fled with my animals.
Rang the police they said they would ring back.
They actually rang me back three weeks later.
Now my ex is doing something horrific again.
How can I ever trust the police again?

Please.
I've been on here for years it's the first time I've ever asked for help myself

I’m so sorry. I have no experience with which to help, but your story is not the first I’ve heard, and is very similar to one of my best friends. I hope someone else will come along soon who can offer you some more practical help.

You are absolutely not BU to distrust the police. And I am a privileged white middle class person.

Your story is almost identical to mine.

Don't trust them. Is his. Saviour directed at you?

Sorry for what you’ve been through, that sounds rough. YABU to distrust all police from now. That would be like distrusting all GPs forever because you’d met one who didn’t give you the correct diagnosis.

Really loathe the anti-police threads and haven’t got time for them at all, I think they get a really shit deal from members of the public for doing a thankless job.

I'm sorry you didn't get the help you need. I would still reach out to the Police if it's a Police matter. Times are changing all the time. You will hopefully get someone willing to listen and hopefully help

I say this as a DV survivor having called the police twice for different partners and being let down twice.

I would call woman's aid

Absolutely agreed. Reach out to womens aid or similar organisation. You can always contact the police from there.

So sorry to hear you're going through this. I will say, my violent ex was dealt with by the police and they were absolutely fantastic. Please PLEASE don't be disillusioned forever. But absolutely understand your scepticism whilst this is still so raw

Also, are you gathering evidence? I would gather evidence and go through woman's aid so the police know you have knowledgeable support (imo like going through pals when being failed by the doctors) and if the police did this again i would male a formal complaint re the police, possibly through or copying my MP.

I am so sorry the police failed you, and it is understandable that you mistrust them so deeply.

However, when my now dead husband threatened to kill me while extremely drunk, they were there within 4 minutes and they took him away. They made it clear that I did not have to take him back and that they would support me in getting an occupation order if I needed it. They put me in touch with DV support.

You were very unlucky and those police officers who failed you were incompetent and dreadful.

Defo this
Police now ARE a waste of time
Im an ex officer BTW.

If this was a long time ago I think that it's likely you will find that attitudes have changed. Keep any evidence, contact women's aid for support and phone the police if you feel under any sort of threat.

You say that your issue with the police was ‘years ago’. How many years ago?

How did they ‘make you apologise’? The police can’t make you apologise for anything. And you were not the one who called them - you said your friend did.

How long were you actually with this man and how long has he been your ex?

Is the ‘something horrific’ he’s now doing aimed at you?

Your post sounds like you’re quite distressed but it’s also quite confusing and there isn’t really enough to go on here to say whether you’re being unreasonable.

The police are shit. I eventually called the police after XH had me on the floor in a corner holding a freshly boiled kettle of water over my head.

They arrested him, interviewed him, he said it didn't happen so they said there was nothing they could do. P

This, apart from Women's Aid don't run the helpline anymore, Refuge do. Please give them a call.

I would never ever trust the police again in my life. The racism and unconscious bias is rife.