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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not enjoy this holiday as much as I thought I would?

8 replies

lookingforsomethingnew · 20/05/2024 18:40

So I'm currently on holiday in Crete with my DP and our daughter who is 2.5 years old. She's being really fussy with food and hardly eating anything other than bananas, ice cream and chocolate but is drinking plenty of water. I just got annoyed because he called me a pushover. There is a disco for children every night from 8-9pm and she hasn't quite finished her banana and he said 'you aren't leaving the table until you finished' it was a large banana and she simply didn't want anymore and wanted to get to the disco. I told him you can't make her finish if you don't want to and that sometimes telling children they can't leave the table until they've finished can cause issues with food such as eating disorders etc (my dad was like this with me. It took me well into my adult years to get comfortable with food after he left) he then called people with disorders attention seekers and when I mentioned I had a friend who died from anorexia he just said 'it's all psychological'. He's been moody so on and off. Just wants to drink beer and sit on his phone. Yesterday I was playing with my daughter in the arcade and asked me to hold her whilst I got off the 'motorbike' with her he said 'can't you play with her for more than 30 seconds' I simply said 'I asked you to hold her whilst I get off' I don't drink, I haven't had a drink whilst here, it's her first holiday and I want her to have fun. He likes to go to the gym here after breakfast and also have 45 minute poo's but when I want to straighten my hair, I'm the problem and the one taking ages. Just a little moan I guess but I just want it to be enjoyable. AIBU to let this all bother me?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 20/05/2024 18:43

Bet you'd enjoy it more without that waste of space

Chatterboxy · 20/05/2024 18:43

He’s being an arsehole!

HangingOnJustAbout · 20/05/2024 18:47

Have you tried discussing this?

Get a plan in place for tomorrow eg
I'll have DD while you go to the gym then you take her to the pool while I get ready and then we'll have lunch
I'll take her back to pool after lunch then you take her to the playground while I have a swim on my own.

It's hard to object to that sort of thing without looking a dick!

NoSnowdrop · 20/05/2024 18:52

'can't you play with her for more than 30 seconds' I simply said 'I asked you to hold her whilst I get off' I don't drink, I haven't had a drink whilst here, it's her first holiday and I want her to have fun.

has he looks after her or played with her for more than 30 seconds? If not, why not?

I don’t think a 2.5 yo will remember their first holiday that much so you should think about putting yourself first. You’re an adult and you need a holiday from the sounds of it.

have you had time to yourself/ to go to the gym or get ready? If not, why not?

do you usually drink? If so why haven’t you had one on holiday yet?

your Dh sounds like a lazy entitled misery guts.

cheddercherry · 20/05/2024 18:54

Is he this much of a joy to be around on home shores too?

In all seriousness a holiday really is your break away, it’s the time theoretically you’re meant to be most happy, right? It surely shouldn’t be this hard and it’s not your daughter that’s at fault.

Sure, kids away is tough, they’re out of sync, new stuff everywhere, overstimulated etc BUT as someone who has traveled long haul and short with my son and husband, it’s not half as hard when you have a PARTNER. You can laugh at the ridiculous tantrum over half a banana, you can joke about that time you went arse over tit trying to collapse the buggy on a dirt road in 40• heat whilst a parasol blinded you…. My point is, life is far too short for the “good stuff” to be THIS hard.

Basically, your husband needs to wake up and smell the family in front of him and make some memories, not more arguments.

PineappleTime · 20/05/2024 18:54

He doesn't sound very nice.

CoffeeAndPeanuts · 20/05/2024 18:55

@HangingOnJustAbout he doesn't seem to have a problem looking like a dick! Or being one!

@lookingforsomethingnew

id be binning him. She's 2.5 he's got NO clue & what's more he's treating you like shit. I can imagine he's any better at home. Stop putting up with it & get rid or he's going to make your & DD's lives utterly miserable.

Don't worry about what she eating (or rather not) just keep offering her little bits of things (even crisps) Especially anything that's yours!! (Far more tempting) as long as she's drinking plenty & having wet nappies/frequent wees, she'll be fine.

try to enjoy your holiday with her & block him out.

lookingforsomethingnew · 20/05/2024 19:32

He has said to me 'you can go to the gym if you like' but I haven't wanted to go. I want to take my time to do my hair and feel pretty as I don't often get the chance. I want to take lovely family photos or for him to take photos when I'm playing with my daughter, he's always on his phone but doesn't think to take a photo and I have to keep asking. If I walk away to get a drink or some food, when I come back most of the time he's on his phone. DD doesn't like going in the pool but likes to sit on the edge and play with her toys which I do and try to get him to do. It's not been a terrible holiday. I haven't enjoyed take DD away and she's having such a lovely time, especially running around in the evenings and playing in the park. Oh and he is like this at home, he can get moody and make a-hole comments over silly little things and it just drives me insane.

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