to think my HV really doesn't have a clue...

[Squirdle]

DS3 had his 3 yr check today. Basically a few silly tests which apparently can tell if there is something wrong with your child.

Well she decided all was not right because instead of drawing a cross and a circle for her, he drew a face complete with eyes, ears, nose, mouth and eyebrows and then proceeded to tell me his hearing should be checked as he clearly couldn't hear very well!

I told her that as a boy he does have selective hearing and that as a mother of 3 boys it is something that I am very well acquainted with now. But as for hearing problems, I certainly didn't agree. She also says that some things he says aren't very clear...well no not all of the things he says are totally clear, but he is just 3!! He has a huge vocabulary but as a young child cannot always pronounce things correctly.

Anyway, she has referred him for a hearing check, which I agreed to because I thought well why not.

So, this is just a rant about my HV. I suppose because we had such a fabulous one in London, this one doesn't seem so good.

These checks do vary a lot. For my DS1 there were all sorts of little games and tricks and I felt the HV was really taking note of his responses. With DS2 about 4 years later (+ different HV), he may as well have not been there, as she just asked "do you think he can hear ok? and does he have any problems with his eyes" etc. Didn't check him at all, just relied on my answers!

If I were you I'd just be grateful she's bothered to do any checks and at least if something does show up you'll be glad it was spotted, but don't take it to heart - she's probably just covering herself by referring him.

On the plus side he sounds like an artistic genius!

The doctor who was doing hearing tests on my sister got really worried that she had problems. He kept ringing a bell behind her and she just carried on playing with her doll. After about a minute of her ignoring it, she turned around and sighed and said, "Be quiet please, I'm playing."

Have the test, but don't stress

Thing is if she has even a tiny doubt and she doesn't refer him, then it turns out there is a problem, what would you be saying in a year's time? So I think she has to refer so in these specific circumstances, yes YABU.

But TBH I was never sure what exactly HV's were for. I was never told anything I hadn't read/didn't already know. If I had a concern I didn't already know the solution to, mine (had several) always referred me to the GP.

I was never offered a 3yr check. DS1 had a 2 yr check, but they'd abolished that by the time DS2 was 2. I don't know anyone who had something picked up at the checks, that Mum wasn't already aware of. For a 3rd child I would bet this is always the case. Always seemed like a huge waste of money to me, so YANBU to think that HV often don't have a clue.

Yes, that is why I decided just to let her book the test, just to rule out anything. But, I do have 14 yrs experience of being a mum and I am a nurse myself, so I think I should know if my child can't hear me. He does have selective hearing ie, if I ask him to tidy his toys up, he won't hear me, but if I whisper anything about chocolate, he hears me straight away

I just hope I'm not back on here in 4 months (thats how long the appts take to come through ) saying he has a problem

I do think if you have a good HV, like the one I had in London, they can be invaluable. My London HV was very aware of the signs of PND and kept telling DH to look after me She was boss, but so lovely with it. I think the thing was that she didn't try to tell me things I already plainly knew, but was very helpful in other areas. She set up a Mother and Baby group for those of us who had moved into the area (as people often do in London) as she knew how hard it was having a baby without any moral support. I have 3 very good friends from this group.

Anyway, waffling now, must feed my children!!

That meant to say, she was bossy, not boss!