to ask how much alcohol is 'normal'?

[Squashinthepinkcup]

Just read another thread about drinking, and it got me to thinking. What's an acceptable amount of alcohol in your opinion? Not from an NHS perspective, but in your household. Do you have a glass of wine/a beer after work most days? If it's a nice wine, maybe you have two glasses, or more? Is it unusual to finish a bottle once a week, either in one evening or over the course of a few evenings?

I just got the impression the OP in the other thread was basing her opinion on whats normal for her household, but it's not something often talked about, so how would you know if it was an okay level or something to be concerned about?

So, what's normal for you, and your partner if you have one?

‘Normal’ for me now is not drinking alcohol at home at all anymore, only when out with friends at a pub, event, restaurant and even then half the time I have AF options.
’normal’ in my 20s was pre-drinks at home on a weekend before going out, then staying out til 4/5am!
‘normal’ very much depends on age, money and circumstances

I treat myself to a bottle of wine now and again. Can drink over 2 or 3 days. Depending on mood.

Use the NHS guidelines as guidelines! And yij’ll be okay… there was a time when I thought them laughable, as I would easily go over the weekly limit in a night.
Now I have them in mind and try to drink below the guidelines

I try not to drink at home - only on special occasions. I will have a glass of wine or a few cocktails when I go out - maybe 1-2 times a month.

DH has a couple of beers most nights after work. I have a bottle of wine a week, over Friday and Saturday night. I love wine and would drink more if it wasn’t for the calories.
My mum is teetotal, my dad is an alcoholic. They are divorced, but the two positions are probably linked! ILs used to drink wine most nights but they’ve cut down a lot recently.

We just do as we fancy so no real pattern, there is always a lot of booze in, prob a dozen bottles of wine, several Prosecco a lot of beer and cider, multiple spirits.

my husband might have one or two drinks of a weekday evening, I tend not to , but maybe one or two bottles of wine at rhe weekend, over a fri, sat and sun , or some gin or vodka, just whatever I fancy really, sometimes very little . If I fancy a drink during the week I will. There is no set pattern, other than not so much during the week, more at weekend. Some weeks more, some less. 🤷🏻‍♀️

the issue with alcohol is the creep for me.

My drinking has slowly increased since lockdowns and I was at 3 bottles of wine a week last month.

Pure habit. I have made a conscious decision to drink less and that’s fine but if I’m completely honest I do miss it. I’m sure it will pass but it doesn’t take long for a habit to become a problem.

I don't drink at all because I'm a now sober alcoholic. I'd say dh drinks though like most 'normal' people I know of our demographic, which is maybe a night or two during the week where he has 1-2 drinks, with maybe 4-6 drinks on a Friday or Saturday evening.

I would say it isn't at all unusual in our social circle for people to drink small amounts here and there during the work week (but not get wrecked) and to drink heavier amounts on the weekends (at BBQs, while cooking dinner/at dinner, at Sunday lunch, few drinks at the pub after a walk one afternoon, etc.). It is actually quite a lot of alcohol, but I don't think most of them would consider it anything other than normal because they see people around them doing it.

I certainly know a few people who drink a few glasses of wine every day and more at the weekend. They would certainly consider themselves normal too.

A few from both groups above though will be drinking more but less visibly so. I think one thing about gauging what's normal from other people's drinking is that you would be amazed how much people are drinking that you don't know about. There are mums who go for prosecco with the other mums after school and then go home at 5pm and make a cup of tea. But there are others who go home and drink another bottle of wine behind closed doors. Similarly, there is that friend who is great fun at the BBQ after two G&Ts who skips off home looking fresh, but drinks half a litre of vodka with mixers once home, but is up at 6am for a run no matter what condition she's in, so everyone thinks she must go home and get an early night.

It wasn't until I stopped drinking and talked to other people who had stopped drinking (most of whom wouldn't have been classed as addicted to alcohol) that I realised how normal secretive, behind closed doors drinking is. I thought I was the only one who did it. That said, even though I would describe myself as an alcoholic, everyone but my husband would be in absolute disbelief to hear me say that. To them, my drinking looked pretty normal. Because they didn't see 80% of it.

DH and I could easily quaff a bottle a night. We don’t for health reasons, I’d say one or two bottles a week. Yes, I know it’s probably too much! 🙈 We don’t smoke and I’m vegan, DH is a meat eater but cutting back, again for health reasons.

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/health-survey-for-england/2021/part-3-drinking-alcohol

There's a table here showing what proportion of people (by sex and age) drink over 14 units a week- always find this a real eye opener as (in my drinking days) I'd have assumed that most people drink over 14 units, when in fact the vast majority do not.

MN is interesting for this sort of thing as we're all so influenced by our social groups and it's the sort of thing that really varies by group, so if you drink a bottle a night the chances are you have friends who do the same (or at least, will drink a bottle now and then) so people fretting about it seem ridiculous, but this level of drinker is well outside the norm.

I used to drink a lot. Now I don't really drink at all. DH drinks a couple of glasses 3-4 nights a week. I think we are fairly average and definitely much more average than we were 5 years ago when we both drinking excessively.

I very rarely drink these days. If I do, it's a can or 2 of cider or a glass or 2 of rose or prosecco maybe twice a month (if that) - at the weekend more than likely.
Will maybe have a glass of wine when out for a meal and I'm not driving...but that's very rare!

Usually have 2-3 beers out with friends once or twice a week. I might also have a glass or two of wine or a beer at home one night on the weekend.

By the standards of MN that's probably a lot, but I would say most friends drink more - often a glass of wine most nights and then beers out once or twice a week. I actually fancy drinking more, especially in the summer but tend to make myself a fizzy cordial or something instead as don't want to drink every day. It's also terrible for sleep these days too.

Like a few PPs, I used to be quite a binge drinker in my 20s and much of my 30s (with two breaks when I was pregnant). DH and I would have wine or beer most nights and really go for it most weekends when seeing friends.

Fast forward to perimenopause and just general ageing and a feeling that we can’t be arsed, we drink very little now. DH might have a few beers a month but only socially so while watching football with friends or having a games night. I drink even less. I don’t drink wine or spirits so that leaves beer and cider, both of which I like, but which I only really fancy on a warm sunny afternoon, and only if I am not working the next day, so my drinking is restricted to a handful of occasions a year now. (I would also drink at a wedding but don’t get invited to as many of those now due to being middle aged 😂)

I would say that most of our family members and friends drink more than we do.

DP hardly drinks at all, same with adult DS
I enjoy a glass of wine or fizz but won’t open one unless DD or a friend come over, as only worth bothering if sharing
Also due to dieting spirits and low calorie mixers are a better option, I am trying to cut back to weekends only - I also limit myself by not starting till after 9pm, as on week nights I go up to bed at 10 if I do have a drink it’s usually only 1 or 2
If I’m on holiday it’s a complete free for all - wine with lunch, cocktails in the afternoon, pre going out drinks on the balcony, drinks with meal, go to another bar and people watch, back to apartment and post evening drinks!!!
However it’s 3 times a year max
I sometimes worry I drink too much but I can also easily not drink - although I miss the taste
I want to lose weight for an event in September so am just about to start a 100 day no alcohol, low fat, low carb, low sugar plan

We don’t drink anything in the week. If we have family round on a weekend, the women (maybe four of us) share a bottle or two of Prosecco and the men have a couple of beers each, if we don’t have social plans on a weekend, we don’t have anything to drink. Never drink at home on our own. Rarely have ‘big’ nights out anymore.

One or two beers a year after a long summers walk LOL - peak mumsnet.

I don't think there is a "normal".

Personally I enjoy a couple of drinks socially, but would never sit on my own at home and get drunk. DH would happily sit watching tv and drink 4/5 nights a week, the only reason he doesn't is that he had a health scare recently and it's made him adjust his lifestyle.

I've got friends who drink a couple of wines or beers every night, others that don't drink all week but go crazy at weekends, others that do both and some that hardly drink at all.

I don’t drink in the week, it’s not really an active decision just something I’ve never really done unless there is a particular special occasion on a weekday.
I’ll probably have 2/3 wines or G&Ts on a Friday or Saturday evening every other week, again it depends on my plans and whether I’m driving. DH hardly drinks at all but will
occasionally have a rum and coke on a Friday or Saturday.

When we go on holiday we will both happily drink every night!!

I don’t think there is a normal or average. I’ve been through phases where I’ve drank quite a lot, uni/ young professional. Times where I had a glass a night. Times where I’ve stopped pregnant/ breastfeeding. Currently teetotal as peri and it just doesnt agree with me anymore.

If I’m off and at home, I’ll have a couple of beers, probably no more than a pint or two. Or a couple of glasses of wine. Socially, I drink much more. But don’t go out that often so that might be once a month or so. Maybe twice, as I watch my football team, and it’s part of the culture there.

I can go without and don’t crave it. I’m TTC from next month so will stop before that.

Alcohol's a touchy subject in my home, what DH and I consider 'normal' when it comes to alcohol is very different..

DH grew up around alcohol and has struggled with binge-drinking in the past. If there's drink in the house, he won't stop. There's been a lot of serious talks between us over the years because of it. Personally I don't drink unless in a social setting and even then, I don't like being too drunk.

I've never got to the end of the week thinking "cor I could have a glass of wine". It's more cigarettes for me 😬

Reading these posts makes me feel like an alcoholic! We both love the taste of wine and beer so would have a couple of bottles of wine a week and a few beers too but we are rarely drunk. We drink in the house but also enjoy a walk to the local pub for one or two with the dog. Looks like we are the minority! Which is fine - each to their own and all that.

What's normal for me now, aged 50, is very little alcohol. I love a glass of white wine (fizzy or otherwise), but at this stage of life it just makes me fat and it makes me fall asleep in front of the telly! I'm okay if I'm out - I'll have a glass or two in company, but I don't want to be one of those lairy, 50-somethings who stumble about, slur their words and embarrass themselves. Edited to say: Also, I grew up with an alcoholic, which makes me very sensitive to this last part. I've seen how it wrecks relationships and friendships.

This was the one that made me think I have a problem haha