Genuine opinions - lazy DH or am I being harsh?

[Namechange285]

Genuinely interested in opinions on whether I'm being unfair or not. DH generally fairly good/pulls his weight but I definitely carry most mental load etc.

Yesterday I got up with 3 yr old DD at 5am while he had a lie in for another 3 hours. Fairly even day of parent and he put her to bed.

This morning she woke at 5.30 and wanted Daddy. He went in to her room with her. I thought, bliss! Extra time in bed for me. So turned off the monitor for some peace.

5 mins later I hear DD crying 'I've done a wee on the carpet' I go through to find her alone in her room and struggling to open the door to get to the bathroom. DH has gone back to bed in the other room. I'm up and awake now so get on and sort DD out/get her breakfast etc.

When he finally wakes up to find me a bit pissed off he says it wasn't his fault/just 'unfortunate' she couldn't make it to the toilet. My point is that as he was up first I assumed he was with her/at least keeping an ear out. Also funny that he was asleep again in 5 mins and didn't hear her calling out. Amazingly seemed to sleep through it all!

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off with this morning's events?

Why did he leave her on her own? I would agree that’s definitely not ok

Lazy and selfish.

Isn't it normal for kids to be alone in their bedroom? Id be more concerned with getting the child to stay in bed longer. Certainly wouldn't be getting up making breakfast etc at 5.40am

Yeah no he was a lazy arse. Of course you assumed he was in charge. He left an awake 3 yr old unsupervised. I'd be bloody fuming.

I wouldn’t expect any adult to stay up with a 3yr old at 5am

At 5am the child gets tucked back into bed and told it’s still night time. They can be awake but playing quietly in their room, but I wouldn’t be indulging them by getting up and letting them think that was a normal time.

Sounds like perhaps you and your DH need to sit down together to talk over how you approach the next early wake up so you are more aligned.

I think you both should improve your communication. You need to have set days and take turns to get up. Then you know who's responsible and who's getting the lie-in.

Agree, set up a rota for lie in’s while you’re in the intense toddler stage

If is awake pottering around I agree but if he’s so deeply asleep he can’t hear her crying she’s basically home alone

Poor DD.

Not on. He is being a lazy fuckwit. Does he not give a shit the poor child had an accident because he couldn't be arsed to look after her? Disgusting.

Agree with pp you need a simple rota and it's fixed in advance, no negotiations or exceptions, one lie in each at the weekend.

Thanks all. I feel vindicated! To clarify, she doesn't normally wake until around 6am, it's just the last few days she's been up earlier and for the PP that suggested we indulge her/start getting breakfast etc, that's not the case. I usually get her to lie back in bed with me for a bit/then quietly read some books until it's a reasonable hour to get up and about. Anyway thanks for your comments all, will chalk it up to experience and try and communicate a better rota/plan in future!