DH of 15 years cheated on me last year so I asked him to leave the family home (rented). He rented a room in a shared house which won't allow children to stay over.
Due to this I allow him to come to my home whenever he wants for the children's sake, he comes in the morning before school for an hour and then after work for 1-2 hours to help with bedtime. I will stress he doesn't do any baths, ironing, washing of clothes. So obviously I'm doing all the nighttime wake ups and early morning wake ups.
He now on Saturdays and Sundays doesn't come over until 11 or 12 on these day. He's prioritising his leisurely runs, showers, social time and obviously his sleep. Always making excuses like can't help with bedtime as I have to do this and that, even though he's all the free time on the work.
It took months to even get to the stage now where he's going to sit here with the children so I can go on a long due night out and even then only because it's more an early evening thing or else he wouldn't do it. In terms of money he will buy nappys and wipes, bread and milk and oldest child's clubs. If I ask him to buy something he will and he pays the childcare that's not covered by UC (due to 85%) only so works out around £200, he won't give me money direct.
We have 2 under 2 and a 10 year old. I returned to work from Maternity a few months ago.
Overall this has been the case for 5 months now and I am just completely exhausted. He is dragging his feet getting a house because at the minute it's win win for him. As much as I don't want to be without my children I need him to get a house and start doing overnights because I am really struggling to cope now.