To leave him over this?

[Forwveryuv]

I’ve been with my boyfriend around six months, we live in London and he currently shares an apartment with a female. I think they’ve lived together maybe 2 years.

She is attractive and I think it’s been the case that since they met he’s fancied her but she hasn’t been interested in him. She also has a boyfriend (but this is also a recent relationship).

I 100% don’t think she’s jealous I’m with him but I think she’s jealous she doesn’t fully have his attention anymore, but I also think she’d actually never date him given the chance. They’ve also both been single at the same time as well.

Hes never given me reason to think he’d cheat but then today he was late meeting me because it was because he was comforting her because she was upset about her grandad passing - I have no idea when he died but it’s not a recent thing.

Maybe I’m being harsh, but she has her own boyfriend to comfort her and I know grief can hit at any point it just felt I would have been more understanding if the death was recent? It’s ultimately made me think that she’s always going to have some pull on him and I can’t be bothered to compete so maybe it’s easier to end it early on? Or am a I heartless cow?

This wouldn't bother me as a one off. He was comforting a friend. Unless it's part of a pattern of behaviour - can you give us examples of other times when he has prioritised her over you?

They are obviously good friends.

Would you not help comfort your good friend if she or he was upset? Grief isn't something that goes away after a funeral.

I was once the housemate in this scenario... I'd leave him or move in with him.

When I was younger I was a pick-me. Attractive gamer girl with only male friends. I flatshared with some of them. I wasn't interested in any of them romantically but they were cool to hang out with and I was flattered. I knew they all fancied me and it felt good. I wasn't jealous when they were in relationships but I was not happy not being the centre of attention. I am being way too honest here and hoping nobody I know ever reads it but I led a few guys on a bit whenever I was feeling down about different areas of my life.

At various points over the years some of them stopped caring about their relationships because they spent so much time with me. I knew each time that if I'd have shown interest they would have cheated/left their girlfriend. I feel horrible about it now and ashamed. One day I realised none of my friends were actually friends they were trying to get with me felt really lonely and I just stopped speaking to them all. They're all happily married now.

I don't know why I was like that but I think it was low self esteem and lack of insight into my actions. I don't think there was anything their significant others could have done to stop our friendships interfering with their relationships either because I always made myself the victim of the jealous girlfriend. I'm an ultimatum I was the innocent friend and they "lost".

It made me cringe writing this because these days I'm not like this at all... If my husband had a friend like that I'd leave him because it isn't worth the stress!