5 year old can’t sleep alone

[Smigglewigglejiggle]

He’s 6 in October and we’ve had a problem with his sleep since he was a baby.
Here I am at 11pm in his bed again and he’s in our bed with DH. We take it in turns.
He’ll start off in his own bedroom but two hours later (sometimes more, but lately it’s not been long) he’s calling out for us. Once he’s in our bed he settled and sleeps through the night.
He hates going upstairs on his own even during the day.
No problems at school.
He does lots of physical activity - long walks with us, swimming every weekend, playing on the trampoline. I just don’t understand it.
We still have to lay with him to get him off to sleep too. So my DH and I are lucky to get 2 hours together and don’t even share a bed really now, because of it.

It’s making me depressed but I don’t know what to do about it. We try putting him back into his bed or sitting with him again until he falls asleep but he’ll wake up again an hour later, it’s like having a newborn - up and down all night long. The only way to guarantee us all sleep is for one of us to sleep in his bed and he goes into our bed.

I would make up a bed on the floor in your room and tell him he's welcome to come in and sleep there during the night but he doesn't get to share your bed.

does he ever sleep out? Like at grandparents or anything?

id reccomend him sleeping out or you and DH booking a night away and having someone stop over.

chances are he won’t want auntie Mary or uncle Bob in his bed plus kids act differently for other people. Once he’s slept through then that should break the habit.

plus you and DH will then know he CAN sleep alone and just chooses not too so you can be stronger in your resolve.

my girl is the same, she is 6!! Tried everything. She’s not allowed in our bed but she has a double so I end up in with her. Sometimes she sleeps the whole night on her own but that’s maybe 2 night a week max. They will grow out of it.
my boy is 3 and sleeps all night in his own room with no issues. They are all different and I refuse to lose any more sleep over it (literally 😆

Have you asked him why he does it? If he feels lonely, try weaning him on to a teddy, and give him some photos of you for his bedside table.

My DS 6 is the same. We still lie down with him to go to sleep and he still wakes up in the middle of the night and runs to find us. As soon as he is in our bed he goes straight back to sleep. I just sleep in the spare room and don't worry about it - I'm sure he'll grow out of it at some stage. I can imagine it would be trickier if you have more than one child to think about though.