To think there needs to be a public inquiry into child development

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

It really seems like we have a looming societal crisis in terms of child development and therefore the quality of the public in 10-20 years time. Experienced teachers across the board seem to be reporting an overwhelming increase in delayed, aggressive and disruptive children. I’m extremely worried about how this will impact society when they become adults - it seems (as a guess) at least a tenth of children will be incapable of work of any kind, and many more will need copious amounts of support to live any kind of responsible life.

AIBU to think we need an urgent public inquiry into this and what is going on? It seems to be the elephant in the room and anybody who tries to discuss it is shouted down.

I’m sure some of it is due to cuts in services but surely that can’t account for it all - it’s very sudden and extremely alarming.

I know a guy who is autistic and failed in school.

Works in retail... has lost most jobs due to sick leave.

I do worry about his future and how he will support him self.

I think if parents today allowed their children the degree of freedom that I and my peers were allowed in the 1960s, they'd probably be getting intervention from children's services.

When we were 9 & 10, my group of friends were allowed to take a packed lunch and a drink and get a bus a few miles to go and play all day in a large public open space on the very edge of London, with woodland and open areas. And we played in derelict houses, and in the half built houses close to where I lived when the builders weren't there at weekends. I was allowed to go into central London with friends to visit museums etc when I was 11, travelling by bus, train and tube. One friend had her own copy of the London A-Z.

I just can't imagine any parent letting their kids do that nowadays. It seems as out of date as an Arthur Ransome or Enid Blyton story.

Yes this. There's FAR too much pressure on teachers and families and children feel everything

For balance I also witness much less violence, assault and aggression with today’s children (obviously there are a few incidences) most care and are conscious of how important it is to have wildlife and to take care of the planet/environment .

They are much more self aware too, very noticeable in older children and considerate of other’s feelings. I think this is the impact of parents not smacking or hitting their children as much or at all. Fighting is definitely not acceptable now, and yet it was very very common when I was a child. Children are treated more kindly and this shows.

Personally, I think it's abdication of parental responsibilities. Too many parents don't actually want to, or don't have the ability to "parent" properly, so rely on others to do the "hard work", whether it's the nursery staff, teachers, or wider society picking up the pieces.

Yes, screens are part of it, but that comes back to parents abdicating their responsibilities by putting their child in front of a screen rather than doing things with them, talking to them, teaching them things, etc. Just the easy option really.

It's not new, but each generation seems to get worse. If you've had parents yourself who didn't put much effort into nurturing you and abandoned you to nurseries, child minders, relatives, etc., then you're going to think that's normal and do the same to your kids, probably even more so, and so it perpetuates.

When the kids don't do as they're told, break rules, are aggressive, etc., the parents don't have the ability to punish them - either they don't believe their little darling could be naughty, or they don't respect the teachers, police, etc and argue about punishments, etc.

🤔

Secondary school teacher for 25 years.

Huge decline in behaviour.

My Dd is ND. She had no behavioural problems at school, far to scared to put her head above the parapet.

And I haven't said otherwise.... just like the teachers in anecdotes all over this thread with only report what they have seen in their classroom. It doesn't make it my experience any less true.... but you carry on....

Perhaps some people are not talking enough to their children and so the children are not learning a wide range of vocabulary. Babies learn by watching their parents mouths forming words as well as by listening. How many times have you seen a parent pushing a prom with the baby facing them (an ideal time to talk to the baby ) whilst on the phone or sitting at a table in a cafe with every family member including young children on a screen … or worst of all ( seen the other day ) the children trying to engage with the parents who are both on screens. It’s really sad

Most children still are
there will be children for many many reasons that are still in nappies and are judged wrongfully because it’s seen as a taboo when it’s absolutely no one’s fault.
yes is there some parents who don’t put the effort in to train yes
but that is not the case for many

The problem is mobile phones, social media, lack of attention from parents, proper parenting where children are taught manners and respect for others, a lack of personal responsibility for actions made and lack of specialist services and support for those with additional support needs and disabilities.

So many perfect people and perfect parents on here. We have money, no trauma, EBF and then organic food, loads of attention, talking, playing etc etc. my DS is still autistic and also has ADHD. My DH was an older dad, maybe that’s where we went ‘wrong’. I used to be judgy and think people said their kids were ND for attention or for benefits. Now I know. The OP clearly doesn’t have an ND child. This type of thread helps no one.

I don't know if it is always necessarily anxious parents though. My DS is 7, we live right behind the park and I can subtly supervise him from upstairs windows. I know he would play and return home. I wouldn't dare leave him there though as I'd be worried about being judged/reported to social services by one of his teachers/another parent.

I’m sorry but everyone blaming parents working , mobile phones etc clearly fail to realise Neurodivergence is genetic and genes don’t alter suddenly

OK, but your lived experience doesn't affect mine....it doesn't mean I'm lying just because you don't have the same experiences.

I was just looking at stats per country and United Kingdom do come first in terms of diagnosis of autism per 100,000 population however there is not much between the countries really
and one who is pretty close to ours is Sweden who have a very different education system and lifestyle / government

Actually stand corrected we are not top when we just account for children which is what we are talking about we are actually pretty far down the list and sweden are much higher per children.

There is also evidence that risks of additional needs increase with older mothers and possibly IVF etc. For older children eg secondary age foetal alcohol syndrome is also a big factor.

I agree we need an enquiry but it needs to dare to ask the unaskable questions.

I’m currently reading ‘the anxious generation’ and it’s fascinating - covers child development and psychology; basically the research is saying it’s social media and certain interactions with screen based behaviour. I think that coupled with helicopter parenting style that almost everyone has these days and low quality nutrition is causing a myriad of human health problems - both in children like you say and also older people. The declining sperm count is also a huge issue looming in the near future…

Echoing a lot of PPs - it’s a generation of screen addicted parents who aren’t engaging with their children. Who are checking out into their devices vs being present with them. It’s a negative cycle because they they miss out on the magic of sharing experiences with their small children, and just feel like they’re work to be done.

The straight jacket of the National Curriculum in Primary Schools has a lot to answer for. Children are pushed and stressed and that before the breakfast club and after school activites.

Interesting op what I find strange though is that so many more people children go to nursery, for longer days and times?

You are right . Hence the realisation some are having that it might be an evolutionary trait . Lots of studies about it . If it was focused on some countries or societies then it would not be happening worldwide

It’s so frustrating, completely sending us back in time with acceptance.
does make me laugh that everyone of us currently sat on pieces of tech to have this debate at 6pm.

People who had shit parents are usually shit parents so it’s hardly surprising.

(usually, not always - before I get lynched)

@anxioussister but parents are spending less physical time with their parents from babies or young ages so surely parents on a screens doesn't matter as much?

Or is it the institutiononalisatiion from a very young age of babies and toddlers who don't have much down time to putter about their own homes and have a daily constant relationship with a parent?

It is interesting really
I mean Japan and UK are woods apart in our lifestyles and education systems
but they seem to have the same problem