I'm the only one who arranges group plans

[ChimneySweepLiverpool]

Just want some prospective as I can be insecure about friendships and am working on that.

I have recently met a lovely bunch of women through a mutual interest. A whatsapp group was set up by one woman and we have 17 people in the group. Originally the woman who set it up organised meet ups (to practice hobby) but she has gotten very busy with personal stuff.

I then took over and arranged meet ups. People came and seemed to enjoy, thanked me for organising and I really enjoyed it too so I'd love to do it again. I hoped someone else would suggest meeting up but they haven't.

Should I keep arranging the meet ups or just accept I'm the most enthuastic and maybe move on? I'm not the best judge of people/friend situations

I think as long as you're happy to organise, and people keep attending, carry on. Its great when someone is willing to do the organising work. Rightly or wrongly, organisers are a minority, and are a huge asset to a friendship group. It sounds like people enjoyed your last meetup.

If you don't want to organise or find it unfair, that's obviously a different story.

I find this is normal.

I was in a social group and always was the one who arranged coffee, etc. When I wanted a break from always being the organiser, no one has bothered to arrange anything since.

Call it apathy/laziness/being too busy or whatever.

Op, only organise things if your enjoyment of doing so and the activity is all the reward you need. Don't do things expecting people to reciprocate, because they usually don't. Most people don't have either the time, emotional energy or motivation to keep a group activity going. If you do, and it brings you joy, that's wonderful.

Is it possible that none of the others want to "step on your toes"? Have you made it clear that you would be happy for someone else to do it?

Perhaps prone have assumed you’ve taken over the organising mantle.

m as be put something in the group saying everyone should take turn, or I can see you becoming the leader of the group.

Hear me out, I'm really insecure about friendship and have been thinking 'am I coming on too strong' 😂

I am happy to be organiser, I just worried I was being 'too much'

maybe organise the next thing but put at the end of the message something like "I know I've organised a few things since x has stepped back but if anyone else wants to sort the next meet up or suggest somewhere to go that would be great!"
and then when you meet up reiterate it, i.e. when they're all saying goodbye, see you soon, just mention, 'sounds great aimee, stick a suggestion up on the group.' Or be more overt about it but still in a nice way "lovely to see you all, now if someone else can organise the next one, I think I've done my share!"

Sometimes people are just a bit lazy and if someone else seems happy to organise it they'll let them get on with it. Unless it's a real faff to organise would be a shame to miss out on something you enjoy just to make a point.

Anyone who thinks you're coming on too strong will distance themselves, and that's ok. The rest will be happy to be included.

Ok thanks, I'm living in a new area and just trying to find new friends. Was delighted this group came up. It's not hard to organise at all as I just say 'I will be here at this time if anyone would like to join' and leave it at that. I just am overthinking!

I think that if they are coming and thanking you, then they are truly grateful and they want to meet up. I would keep arranging the meet ups if you enjoy them and don't mind organising.

Personally, I am not an organiser of group things. I am rubbish at it, I tend not to think of it etc. But I do attend them and I do thank people for organising them.

I'm a little lonely at the moment but trying to hide that from these new friends and didn't want that to come across. Trying to pretend to be 'confident/busy woman' 😅😉

They probably think it's become your job. Why don't you say next time please can I pass the social hat to someone else to organize the next one any volunteer?

Yeah, I should. I'm honestly happy to organise once other people are happy to attend but I started to wonder why people weren't returning the offer to plan something. I got paranoid!

If I didn't organise my friends we'd rarely do anything! There generally seems to be one or two in a group who comes up with ideas and arranges something. Carry on if you'd like to, far more people are happy to be asked than actually do the asking.

If people are coming then they obviously want to attend! Some people are lazy/lack confidence/laid back so will let someone else do the organising.

You could open it up to others but risk losing momentum and the group dwindling.

If you're happy to do it I'd carry on but maybe suggest to others they are welcome to do so as well.

Only do it if it suits you though.

I am in this situation with a sport l play.

I got fed up with always organising so stepped back a bit. One woman picked up the slack for a bit but l realised after a while that there were advantages of being the organiser.

For me, the advantages was l could choose the location that really suited me and also the frequency/time of the events.

My bottom line is as long as people turn up when they say they will or communicate clearly if they can't, then l was prepared to do the work as l got a lot out of it myself.