Being diagnosed with autism as an adult isn't "just a label"

[SwordToFlamethrower]

I'm feeling so fed up of this being said to me.

The last time was a teacher who said "we are all a little bit autistic aren't we" when I disclosed my recent ADHD diagnosis and forthcoming autism assessment.

Getting to the stage of an actual assessment is incredibly difficult in terms of fighting for it (NHS!!) and mentally. It knocks you for six. You go through a period of grief for the years you really struggled and all the trauma you've been through, with either no help or the wrong "help". (Some women are misdiagnosed as bi polar pr BPD) And you also go through a loss of yourself. You have to reexamine your life through the lense of neurodiversity and try to make sense of it all. It is traumatic and I'm pretty much on my own. There are no resources for 40+ women I can tell you that. No awareness. People think you're lying!!

You can feel angry and feel so let down by health professionals, friends, family... autism awareness seems solely focused on young people. Women seem to be invisible.

With a diagnosis you can start to make sense of the world and yourself and maybe try to be kinder to yourself.

So when you are chatting with someone who says they train people to be mental health emergency first aiders, it really is the pits when you disclose how tough its been, getting assessed and the processing that you're autistic all along, and she says "it's just a label and doesn't change you".

I wasn't listened to, had my diagnosis of ND minimised and she tried to fix me by advising I focus on "opportunities".

It isn't "just a label" it's a DIAGNOSIS. A diagnosis that can help me get the right support and resources. Am I being unreasonable to expect better from teachers and mental health practitioners?

Youre right and it’s shit you’ve had that response. There’s needs to be more education around neurodivergence.

Yes and that adult women can be autistic

It may be well meant ( most of the time) but, no, we are not all a little bit autistic. Absolutely not, no we aren't. It's so reductive. As is 'well I'm a bit adhd, I just choose not to label myself'. Similarly, no, you can not be 'a bit OCD' either. If you genuinely suffered from OCD you'd know about it.
Now, perhaps people can stop dismissing other people's struggles by pretending they have them too but they just don't make a fuss about it.

One being where the ND label came from. That is an eye opener for ppl.

I think they're trying to be reassuring and accepting. But they come across as minimising and co-opting. That famous neurotypical empathy at work again.

And the "ooh they're giving out diagnoses like smarties" remarks.

Have a few family members with ASD and the path to diagnosis has been difficult, the adult one even more so as a lot of what they were told to help manage their chronic anxiety over their lifetime to date was useless and pointless. A lot to unlearn and learn again.

I'm not ND myself but have supported people close to me so what you are saying sounds so familiar. You are doing really well with something that is not easy. Nevermind the minimisers.

I did respond at the time with "it isn't a label, it's an official diagnosis" and she got quite flustered and then tried to fix me with suggestions about looking on the bright side and such.
I'd expect this from Jo public, but not a trained mental health practitioner!