Are we being unreasonable?

[DAISYBELLAxx]

Hello. I wonder if anybody could advise please.

Myself and partner live together with our two dogs (each had a dog when we met) and last week, I moved in to my parents house for a week to dog sit whilst they were on holiday.

We didn't see eachother all week as his dog had just been spayed and was recovering and I took my dog with me.

During this time, my brother (who is 22 and still lives at home) and his partner invited my sister and her partner over with their dog. They came empty handed and were drinking all day out of my parent's fridge, leaving cans and bottles everywhere and were sat in the hot tub while their dalmation was weeing around the house and jumping up onto the kitchen counter to eat food from the side. I spent the day cleaning up after them and the dog whilst they all had a great time.

On Thursday my parent's came home and I knew my mum had a job interview, so left the house tidy and left her a good luck card with chocolates. She looked after my dog that evening so that I didn't get stuck in traffic and could go straight home to my partner after a week of being away.

I saw her yesterday when I picked my dog up and she told me she got the job. I was really pleased for her and we sat and talked about their holiday and then I left to go home. Myself and my partner awoke this morning to videos and messages on the family group chat posted by my sister, where my parents had been out with my sister and her partner and my brother and his partner celebrating the job. They were at my parents house singing and drinking until 3am.

Myself and my partner are upset that we hadn't been invited. Especially after I have given up a week of my time to dogsit and take care of their home (although they do look after my dog when I am working). I sent a message to the chat saying "we clearly didnt get the memo" with a laughing emoji and my mum responded "no memo needed you two- was an impromptu moment"

Are we being unreasonable? My sister and her boyfriend blatantly take advantage of my parents and only seem to contact them when they want something and my parents always speak about them behind their backs anyway!

Thank you x

So your brother lives there and your sister had come over to stay so would have been there anyway and you left to go home in this instance it does sound as if it was impromptu

I think you sound as if you are the oldest and therefore always do the tidying etc and clear up after your siblings

If your brother and his partner live there why weren't they minding the dog

I had the same question. Surely if he lives there already, him minding the dog is the most logical thing to have done.

This was what I was wondering too? Surely that makes way more sense?

I spent the day cleaning up after them and the dog whilst they all had a great time.

Why did you do this? Logically, your sister and her partner should have cleaned up after their dog, and if they didn't then your brother who lives there and invited them should have cleaned up after them. It sounds like you're cleaning up out of obligation to your parents to keep their house clean while they are away, knowing that no one else will - but if no one else cares and you resent it (which is completely understandable) then maybe start saying no and let the people who should be doing it bear the consequences. Definitely stop expecting your parents to appreciate what you do any more than they appreciate your siblings' behaviour.

My brother is 22 but is the baby of the family. I love him dearly but is a bum. He is unemployed and in debt that my parents constantly pay off. Doesn't lift a finger and has always just got away with it because he's the only boy. I have never thought this was normal and cetainly wont be raising any future potential boy I have like it.

I think my parents knew they had upset us and they have just turned up at the door. They said they didn't mean to leave us out. I am feeling a little bit calmer about things now but it did upset me. X

Let me guess, you're the oldest and the responsible type. Always had to look out for younger siblings even at the cost of your time and interests. Long gone are the days of the boy child being worshipped. Your parents are raising a bum, a leech to society. He sits at home, rent free with his debts being paid off for him but can't be expected to mind a dog. What a gift he is. Your sister and her partner don't sound any better. Take a large step away. Leave them to their own devices. Book your own dog into doggy day care and kennels or sort out some arrangements for your dog that don't involve your parents. Then you have no obligation to dog or house sit. I'm sure you love your parents but they are showing blatant favouritism. They take it for granted that they will come home to a clean tidy house and a happy dog even though you don't live there. Get on with your own life with your partner and dogs. Leave a little distance for a while

Yes dumbfounded that your unemployed brother living at home was considered incapable of looking after the dog, so you had to go stay there to do it for them/him! He is a useless bum and your parents are enablers to him. Sounds like you have grown up as the sensible eldest sibling who has copied your parents behaviour of enabling both your brother and sister’s poor childlike behaviour.

Take a huge step back. Leave your parents to deal with them. And if I were you I would find alternative care for your own dog so that you don’t feel indebted to your parents to care for their dog.

Wow. If your parents don't trust their grown adult son to look after the dog when they're on holiday, they're in for a whole load of trouble as they keep bankrolling him.