I have a 3 year old son whose father puts in little to no effort when it comes to doing anything big or small for him. We both work however i do part time and he works full time. Since the baby was born I am responsible for every single thing, whether it's dropping and picking him from nursery, feeding him, bathing him, taking him out, buying things he needs, playing with him at home etc my partner does not help with any of that.
Even at the baby stages of teething my partner always slept regardless of if the baby was crying in the night. All his routine immunisation injections and if he was ever unwell despite me being very nervous I attended alone with the baby. On the weekends my partner sleeps till late no matter what's going on around him. It could be a nice day but he never thinks of taking our son out or make any games at home. Once he is awake his idea of parenting is to sit our son infront of the tv for hours and hours and in that time he does not offer him any food or drink he doesn't even realize how the baby is clearly fed up of watching TV and is constantly asking for his father's attention.
Any activities for our son I plan and arrange and if my partner ever comes out with us I have to deal with his negative comments and very bad attitude at the slightest inconvenience. For example even if its starts raining a little bit its my fault for "dragging" him out even when he knows that I didn't ask him our son is too young to understand and feels happy if daddy also comes out with us. Some place like a soft play I notice all fathers engage with their children, my partner just sits there even if our son is asking him to get up and play with him or help him down the slide etc.
Soon as I say anything it turns into a big fight with him threatening to leave us and he tends to get in his car and go off leaving our son to cry as he's seen daddy leaving. Even when theres no fights he has his own plans mostly that do no include us and he goes off for the whole day until the baby is gone to bed. This upsets me so much because I put up with a lot for the sake of our son. He's very sensitive and even though his father barely spends any time with him he still keeps trying to get his attention which breaks my heart.
I didn't want my son to grow up without having both parents in the same house and I believed that children need both parents but i now believe that a child does not need a father like that. Despite me managing everything alone my partner still threatens to leave and acts like him staying with us is a huge favour. Worst is that on more than one occasions he's packed his bags in front of our son making him so upset saying daddy please dont go where u going. This is what I can no longer tolerate and I want to raise my son in peace.
If he was just a bad partner I would say it's fine for him to see our son on weekends or whenever but he's not a good father either. I simply can not trust him as he doesn't look after our son as a parent should. He can not protect him, stand up for him or keep him out of hrams way as there's been times when due to his irresponsible behaviour our son was close to getting very hurt and didn't take no responsibility just blamed our son. He's not fulfilled any responsibilities but he talks about his "rights" as a father when threatening to walk out on us. He doesn't even care how upset he's making our son when he's shouting infront of him that hes leaving and times when he just walks out and comes back as he pleases. Even then he never goes in our sons room to see hes sleeping or to give him a cuddle.
I find this is so unfair that a man can treat not only a mother but also the child so badly then on top of all that emotional and mental trauma he leaves and still have a legal right to see the child. All I want is to be able to raise my child without interference from this man and I have so far put up with his horrible behaviour beacuse I am terrified of having to send my son to see him when I know how careless and irresponsible he is and be at the mercy of him and some other woman on how they treat my child. My partner has used this fear against me for the longest time and I feel like I am stuck in this horrible situation which is not good for my child also.