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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teachers drawing on children?

133 replies

Talktomyselfforhours · 18/05/2024 07:48

I might be totally overthinking this so hoping for a good sounding board with fellow mumsnetters!

DD is in Year 3 at school and has quite often come home with smiley faces drawn on her hand, she told me the teacher draws smiley faces when they've done good work or behaved well.

AIBU to think this isn't right and teachers shouldn't be 'marking' the kids? I'm probably over thinking it but surely there are other ways of doing this that doesn't mean I've got to scrub these off each night? And yes she would have a wash etc but pen marks take a little more work and she does have quite sensitive skin. It's a biro pen that's being used. Quite happy to be told to get over it!

OP posts:
21andon · 18/05/2024 10:10

greengreyblue · 18/05/2024 10:06

It is an abuse of power because it’s a physical encroachment from a position of power in that teacher/child relationship . Any physical contact with a child must be child led.
The Op posts are not clear. Drawing a smile with a pen on a child’s hand is not nice. A stamp is less intrusive.

Edited

I think we can safely assume that the teacher isn’t chasing the children round and holding them down to draw smiley faces on their hands 🙄 If you genuinely think the interaction is inappropriate then so is sticking a sticker on a child.

of course if the child doesn’t like being drawn on that’s a totally different matter but that doesn’t seem to be the issue here.

I don’t draw smiley faces on children. But I know loads of the children I teach would absolutely love it if I did.

Cheeesus · 18/05/2024 10:10

I’d just leave it to come off in its own time and think it was vaguely cute.

StarbucksQueen1 · 18/05/2024 10:12

Yeah it’s odd! I’d write anonymously to the head teacher if you don’t want repercussions and ask for stickers in future (son gets his on drinks bottle) and says biro being scrubbed off aggravated skin.

SuziQuinto · 18/05/2024 10:14

Don't write anonymously to the Head!
Just speak to the teacher, as I have said before and take it further if there are more concerns.

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 18/05/2024 10:14

whistleblower99 · 18/05/2024 07:51

That Is not the teacher. It is your child and they are lying. Absolutely no way is a teacher drawing on hands and knees.

Don't be so daft. I hate this OK MN where people spill absolute BS as fact.

Littlemisscapable · 18/05/2024 10:16

No this is absolutely not normal I don't know any teachers who would do this . Speak to teacher directly this will sort it out.

Spudthespanner · 18/05/2024 10:16

greengreyblue · 18/05/2024 10:06

It is an abuse of power because it’s a physical encroachment from a position of power in that teacher/child relationship . Any physical contact with a child must be child led.
The Op posts are not clear. Drawing a smile with a pen on a child’s hand is not nice. A stamp is less intrusive.

Edited

😂

Mumsnet is a fascinating place

AprilPoisson · 18/05/2024 10:17

Bollocks is that happening.

  1. safeguarding/sensitive skin
  2. naming and shaming - even names on board - frowned upon these days
  3. at most you'd have positive reinforcement - class star charts/dojos
  4. all teachers - even trainees - would get a stamper/use stickers/at worst draw a smiley in the books. I know budgets are stuffed but drawing on the kids' hands, c'mon
  5. teachers are always telling the kids not to graffiti on themselves, especially at secondary, they aren't going to promote this

0/5 slow handclap

greengreyblue · 18/05/2024 10:18

@21andon Would you like your boss to come and press an ink pen onto your hand just to say well done ? It’s daft. I always ask children if they would like a sticker. Some don’t , some say yes please. I hand it to them and they place it.

Ioverslept · 18/05/2024 10:19

It's weird but maybe it all started with a child asking and the children like it? Still, I wouldn't like it and think it is unusual, speak to the teacher and maybe suggest smiley faces are drawn on a piece of paper instead

21andon · 18/05/2024 10:21

greengreyblue · 18/05/2024 10:18

@21andon Would you like your boss to come and press an ink pen onto your hand just to say well done ? It’s daft. I always ask children if they would like a sticker. Some don’t , some say yes please. I hand it to them and they place it.

Well I’d also think it was quite strange if my boss offered me a sticker.

Obviously if the teacher isn’t asking for consent, that’s not ok. But that isn’t what has been suggested here. The op just doesn’t like washing it off.

greengreyblue · 18/05/2024 10:23

Yeah, obviously . But I’m trying to match that imbalance of power and how uncomfortable that would feel.

Spudthespanner · 18/05/2024 10:23

AprilPoisson · 18/05/2024 10:17

Bollocks is that happening.

  1. safeguarding/sensitive skin
  2. naming and shaming - even names on board - frowned upon these days
  3. at most you'd have positive reinforcement - class star charts/dojos
  4. all teachers - even trainees - would get a stamper/use stickers/at worst draw a smiley in the books. I know budgets are stuffed but drawing on the kids' hands, c'mon
  5. teachers are always telling the kids not to graffiti on themselves, especially at secondary, they aren't going to promote this

0/5 slow handclap

Edited

It is happening. I've worked in schools for years. I've seen it plenty of times. Some teachers do it , some stamp hands with stampers, some don't, some do stickers, some do other things.

Mumsnet is nuts. Why do people assert things like this with such confidence.

greengreyblue · 18/05/2024 10:25

If they are they are wildly out of touch and need to update their training.

MumMumMumMumMumMumMum · 18/05/2024 10:29

If be having a polite word with the teacher, but only because my DD has extremely sensitive skin and terrible eczema so would not be happy to scrub biro off.

liveforsummer · 18/05/2024 10:35

My teacher in the school I work in gives out stickers and lots of the kids have those annoying grubby round sticker marks all over their jumpers that are so hard to get off. I bet the parents would love a smiley face on their hand instead. No need to scrub it - just wash normally and it will fade. Not sure why it's important to discourage kids from drawing on their skin either. My dc do it all the time, I'd never thought it was a problem or something I should be stopping?!

liveforsummer · 18/05/2024 10:39

Talktomyselfforhours · 18/05/2024 08:40

I didn't think there would be so much debate about DD lying 🙄other parents in the class confirmed the same, smiley face looks well drawn and not by a child but I get it, the argument is, it's a smiley face - how hard can it be!

Regardless, if it is the teacher, it just seemed an odd way to recognise good behaviour so wanted to understand if it's normal and common practice.

Our school is quite backwards in some ways (kids aren't allowed footballs in playground at break or lunch time, no play equipment or use of trim trail, Head is risk adverse for anything like this!), so this is just a part of a bigger picture of practice's at the school that irk me, albeit very small!

No footballs in the playground is absolute standard. Balls end up on roofs or out of grounds, or hit another child in the face, or break a window. Some schools are lucky to have a dedicated enclosed area - most just have a blanket ban

ShiteRider · 18/05/2024 10:41

Oh my goodness, it’s a smiley face drawn on a hand. The teacher isn’t holding the child down and tattooing them!

When I think of my kids and my grandkids and their friends they would have loved this and as someone upthread said, given the choice of a sticker or smiley face drawn on, would choose the smiley face every time.

The level of drama attached to a simple, fun, harmless thing is unbelievable. It’s really a non issue and I feel so sorry for teachers who are trying to be a bit more human and approachable for the kids they teach if this is what happens. What a world to live in.

whistleblower99 · 18/05/2024 10:41

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 18/05/2024 10:14

Don't be so daft. I hate this OK MN where people spill absolute BS as fact.

Show quote history

I was right though. The teacher drawing on knees was indeed bullshit.

salamithumbs · 18/05/2024 10:42

My dd's teacher has a smiley face marker stamp thing that she either stamps in their book or on their arm, whichever they ask for.... One day my dd came home with a star drawn on her hand in normal marker and said it was because the teacher's stamp ran out - she asked if DD wanted a hand drawn smiley face and the children were excited by this, asking for other symbols like a star/flower etc instead. I certainly didn't have a problem with this- to me, it was a nice, playful moment with the teacher. Obviously if it's difficult to get off and your dd has sensitive skin, it might be best to have a gentle word but I definitely wouldn't charge in accusing her of anything- some of the comments here like 'abuse of power' are way OTT!

Freeasabird76 · 18/05/2024 10:46

My child used to come home from nursery /reception with a star on her hand from the teacher,she loved it so although i wasnt too happy about it I didn't get worked up over it.
Think it comes down to the fact there's no money for stickers anymore.

OutOfTheHouse · 18/05/2024 10:56

Can you just talk to the teacher? Ask them if they are doing it and if so ask them to stop.

Lancasterel · 18/05/2024 10:58

I am a primary teacher and would not do this! Very odd. Get some stickers instead!
Or as others has said it’s not the teacher at all…

Although I do have a vague memory of one of my own children coming home from school with stamps on their hand quite regularly when they were little, so maybe it’s not that different. Seems strange though!

Choochoo21 · 18/05/2024 11:06

I think this is a genius idea!

The kids obviously love it and are proud to show off their praise.

Its a physical reward which kids love but it’s free and can’t get lost or stolen.

It’s also some physical contact which most kids crave but not in an inappropriate way like a hug.

But it also resets every day.

It’s not like one kid has a bag full of stickers they’ve collected, whilst the others have hardly any.
They all come in every day as a blank slate and all have the opportunity to get one.

I’ve never heard of this but I think it’s great and know my DD would have loved it.

I think it’s lovely that you get to see it (unlike stickers that fall off) and talk about how well she’s done.
Its also good for teaching hand washing 😁

TeenLifeMum · 18/05/2024 11:13

Bumblebee907 · 18/05/2024 09:27

Your daughter is lying.

Yet other posters are saying teachers do it at others schools too?