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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is sulking ever induced?

29 replies

Allaboutme23 · 18/05/2024 00:04

Just having a moment here. Here I have been thinking that I can not go rest of my days with DP as his huge o sulks drain the life out of me when I have really thought, maybe I did induce The Almighty Sulk. I did say a week ago that I was drained by his sister's shit stirring ways and him not putting boundaries in place to prevent this and maybe this is no wonder that he has not spoken to me in 7 days and nights and still counting.

Maybe these sulks over the years have been triggered by my confrontational behaviour and I should know that not speaking is therefore reasonable due to my unreasonableness. ]

Is sulking ever reasonable at all due to mitigating circumstances? Oh and a bit of binge drinking.? A.I.B U for not just keeping peace, put up shut up, therefore inciting the need for his solitude, alcohol and remaining mute going into week 2?

He has never said where he disappears during sulk. Is this unreasonable of me to wander? Maybe I am very dislikeable and do not know myself due to the impact of sulks but I should be questioning what are my triggers to him? Holy cow it could have been me all this time when I thought that he was being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Allaboutme23 · 18/05/2024 10:29

I haven’t maintained friendships over the years , I only have a couple of girlfriends who aren’t really there for me, as wrapped up I new relationships which I really understand- do not want to bring them down.The kids are young adults now and they’re bit blind but they adore him , accept his stints too and I don’t want to hurt them more.

Right now you guys are my friends. How do we manage to get to raised kids age, be halfway intelligent yet not see the light?

Im now scared of being alone, have no assets so would be homeless , I’m sorry this sounds doom n gloom but in a country that has people on good incomes affected, I can’t financially be on own. I’d be homeless, my wage would cover a new rent and essentials, probably not enough to keep me.

OP posts:
Flyhigher · 18/05/2024 14:43

It's a coping mechanism.
He has heart surgery coming up and he's frightened. You have asked him to sort out his sister.
Which may well be impossible to do. Even if he had the strength to do it.
Not surprised he has shut down. He's scared.

keffie12 · 18/05/2024 14:55

Flyhigher · 18/05/2024 14:43

It's a coping mechanism.
He has heart surgery coming up and he's frightened. You have asked him to sort out his sister.
Which may well be impossible to do. Even if he had the strength to do it.
Not surprised he has shut down. He's scared.

It's not a one-off. He has always done it, plus he abuses alcohol

keffie12 · 18/05/2024 14:58

Allaboutme23 · 18/05/2024 10:29

I haven’t maintained friendships over the years , I only have a couple of girlfriends who aren’t really there for me, as wrapped up I new relationships which I really understand- do not want to bring them down.The kids are young adults now and they’re bit blind but they adore him , accept his stints too and I don’t want to hurt them more.

Right now you guys are my friends. How do we manage to get to raised kids age, be halfway intelligent yet not see the light?

Im now scared of being alone, have no assets so would be homeless , I’m sorry this sounds doom n gloom but in a country that has people on good incomes affected, I can’t financially be on own. I’d be homeless, my wage would cover a new rent and essentials, probably not enough to keep me.

You don't need assets, etc. As I said above, contact women's aid. They will take you into a refuge and and help you get rehoused, monies sorted, etc.

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