DH anger issues with work

Dee90 · 2024-05-17T10:04:42+00:00

My DH works from home full time. His job has been stressful recently and says he is being treated badly. He does not contain his feelings very well so although he doesn't lash out at colleagues, he storms around the house slamming doors and slammed his fist on the desk so hard he smashed a glass. The atmosphere he is creating is horrendous and he will then come and vent at me about it. I know he is feeling stressed but it's taking a toll on me living in this tense atmosphere. AIBU to feel this is unfair?

Original poster

Dee90 · 17/05/2024 11:09

Also not sure how to bring this up without it seeming like I am making it all about me but I think he needs to manage his stress in a better way.

OP posts:

Inspireme2 · 17/05/2024 11:11

No it is not fair.
Since he discusses the issies with you can you suggest how or what he needs to help himself.
Could he contact another employee to talk and have some support?
Vent his anger in a healthier way, walk, gym, punching bag.
A work place support agency.
Does he realise the impact it has on you?

Original poster

Dee90 · 17/05/2024 12:19

Inspireme2 · 17/05/2024 11:11

No it is not fair.
Since he discusses the issies with you can you suggest how or what he needs to help himself.
Could he contact another employee to talk and have some support?
Vent his anger in a healthier way, walk, gym, punching bag.
A work place support agency.
Does he realise the impact it has on you?

He does have a colleague he speaks to about it too. We go for walks and all he does is go on about the issues at work so not getting away from it! I have told him its creating a stressful atmosphere but doesn't seem to have made any difference unfortunately. Punch bag might be a good idea!

OP posts:

toomuchfaff · 17/05/2024 15:14

If he can contain his anger with his colleagues - then it shows that he is ABLE to control his anger - what is evident is that he respects his working environment more than your home environment. He thinks nothing of not controlling his anger in the house where you (and children) are - vulnerable; innocent of anything, not the cause but instead forced to feel the effect, scared. This is a bad situation and he needs to repair it immediately.

He absolutely needs to control his anger in the home. It is not fair that you and the household feels the negative impacts of his work situation. He needs to take that anger elsewhere. Go out, go for a run, go outside, get out of the house for fresh air and perspective.

gamerchick · 17/05/2024 15:19

I'd have the row me. Tell him to go to a gym and hit a punch bag before he comes home or something else to get it out of his system. But if he comes home and behaves like that again, he can piss off to a hotel or family or whatever or you will.

Are there bairns there? I think I'd be out when he's due home until he gets the message.

If the job doesn't work then do something about it.

DownWithThisKindOfThing · 17/05/2024 15:22

toomuchfaff · 17/05/2024 15:14

If he can contain his anger with his colleagues - then it shows that he is ABLE to control his anger - what is evident is that he respects his working environment more than your home environment. He thinks nothing of not controlling his anger in the house where you (and children) are - vulnerable; innocent of anything, not the cause but instead forced to feel the effect, scared. This is a bad situation and he needs to repair it immediately.

He absolutely needs to control his anger in the home. It is not fair that you and the household feels the negative impacts of his work situation. He needs to take that anger elsewhere. Go out, go for a run, go outside, get out of the house for fresh air and perspective.

This. He’s perfectly able to control it when it suits him. I’d be telling him to buck up his ideas sharpish or fuck off.