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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should sports day be optional?

364 replies

Nothinglefttosaynow · 17/05/2024 08:54

I remember dreading sports day as a child, I was slow & awkward and always near the end if not last. It was public embarrassment for me & I dreaded it. My nephew has sports day next week & is already worrying about it. He is fit and healthy but not a fast runner & has come last for the past 3 years. I absolutely agree with kids taking part in sport at school & at home, but I wonder if forcing kids who clearly don't enjoy it to participate in front of a crowd is fair.

OP posts:
Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 17/05/2024 12:22

Some children can run quicker, some count better. Some have illegible handwriting. There are Dyspraxics and Dyslexics in every class.

You learn how to cope with not wanting to do something. This is why the mental health of children is so weak now. We have the mindset of not doing things that are difficult or uncomfortable or that natural anxiety
/ nerves is problematic and to be avoided. How about building children up to cope, not removing them from anything they are a bit worried about.

NetMum2 · 17/05/2024 12:22

I dread it for my son! He’s currently practicing for his in PE and has been dreading it since the last one in June. He’s the youngest/smallest in his year and came last. The teachers said he was absolutely fine in practice and really enjoyed it but the sound of the parents screaming and clapping on the day, and the ‘awww’ sound of feeling sorry for him devastated him.

LaCouleurDeMonCiel · 17/05/2024 12:23

FFS I can’t believe that while I was writing one more person made the point that other subjects are mandatory!
@Gruffallowhydidntyouknow : is there a yearly mandatory STEM test in front of the whole school + parents? Because this is the equivalent of sports day!
Nobody is saying pupils shouldn’t do PE, just not the public performance at the end of the year.

Pin0cchio · 17/05/2024 12:25

What @Lemonyyy said

WoshPank · 17/05/2024 12:26

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 17/05/2024 12:17

Only is STEM subjects can also be optional. We have far too many fat children without them opting out of sports too.

Poor comparison. Opting out of sports day isn't opting out of PE entirely. There's no direct equivalent for STEM of sports day.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:26

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 17/05/2024 12:17

Only is STEM subjects can also be optional. We have far too many fat children without them opting out of sports too.

It's counter productive. Fat children are less likely to exercise and get involved with sports if they're ridiculed and bullied when they do. It becomes a vicious circle. I speak from experience.

I was a fat child and hated games/sports because of the bullying etc. It certainly didn't encourage me to do more. It just encouraged me to bunk off, feign illness, etc to avoid the ritual humiliation.

Luckily there was one teacher who actually had compassion and understood. One thing I could do was swim. We did swimming for half a term and then did other things for the other half terms. This particular teacher could see I struggled, and asked me if I'd like to swim for other half terms too! I jumped at the chance and ended up gaining various swimming certificates etc.

Once I'd left school, and met my partner who was quite active, so we started doing lots of things together, i.e. walking, cycling, swimming, tennis & squash, skiing and then golf as we got a bit older, so I became pretty active and pretty good at some sports, but never team sports. Funny how I became more active and engaged with being active and some sports once I'd escaped the horrible bullying atmosphere of "team sports" at school!

PotatoPudding · 17/05/2024 12:26

LaCouleurDeMonCiel · 17/05/2024 12:23

FFS I can’t believe that while I was writing one more person made the point that other subjects are mandatory!
@Gruffallowhydidntyouknow : is there a yearly mandatory STEM test in front of the whole school + parents? Because this is the equivalent of sports day!
Nobody is saying pupils shouldn’t do PE, just not the public performance at the end of the year.

Correct! Students should not be tested for anything in front of the whole school and hundreds of spectators.

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 12:27

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 17/05/2024 12:22

Some children can run quicker, some count better. Some have illegible handwriting. There are Dyspraxics and Dyslexics in every class.

You learn how to cope with not wanting to do something. This is why the mental health of children is so weak now. We have the mindset of not doing things that are difficult or uncomfortable or that natural anxiety
/ nerves is problematic and to be avoided. How about building children up to cope, not removing them from anything they are a bit worried about.

This old crap. Sports day isn’t the only chance to build resilience you know.

My daughter faced things every day that she didn’t like. Attending sports day once a year wouldn’t have made any difference to her level of resilience.

My son occasionally asked for a day off school to avoid some random, pointless drama lesson. It hasn’t impacted his resilience.

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:27

One of my most treasured memories is of my Mum taking me aside after sports day and telling me that my teacher could see a lot of potential in me. She was so proud and so was I. That the teacher had noticed and told my Mum.

I am one of 5 children. All dearly loved, but our moments to shine as individuals were few. That was mine.
I don't know if it's right or wrong and I speak as someone who has done very well in my sport, but I am very glad that it happened to me.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:28

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 17/05/2024 12:22

Some children can run quicker, some count better. Some have illegible handwriting. There are Dyspraxics and Dyslexics in every class.

You learn how to cope with not wanting to do something. This is why the mental health of children is so weak now. We have the mindset of not doing things that are difficult or uncomfortable or that natural anxiety
/ nerves is problematic and to be avoided. How about building children up to cope, not removing them from anything they are a bit worried about.

No problem in not being able to do something. The problem at school is the bullying, humiliation etc from the other pupils because so many schools/teachers have no control over the bullying etc.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

Misthios · 17/05/2024 12:29

There are Dyspraxics and Dyslexics in every class.

Urgh, this use of language is awful. My eldest is not "a dyspraxic".

focacciamuffin · 17/05/2024 12:31

Berlinlover · 17/05/2024 12:08

I don’t understand why parents attend sports day. That was never a thing when I was a child, I would have hated it.

It was when I was a child. Parents, bothers, sisters. Sports days were on a Saturday with no compulsion to attend. Obviously, if you were actually participating there would have been a strong expectation that you would.

ForAPicnic · 17/05/2024 12:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Pookerrod · 17/05/2024 12:34

I like the way my eldest’s secondary school does it. The kids choose what they want to compete in. If you’re not a fast runner, you don’t have to choose any of the races. Plus there are very random sports that no one is particularly good at and so it ends up just being fun. And to keep the element of fun, despite being quite a sporty independent school, they still have the three-legged race, wheelbarrow race, egg and spoon etc for the non-sporty ones.

I do think it should be kept mandatory as it’s good practice for life stepping out of your comfort zone and participating in things you’re not terribly good at in front of an audience.

BitOutOfPractice · 17/05/2024 12:36

The day that every child is forced to stand up in front of an audience and do Mental maths or spellings, or speak French or whatever is the day that sports day should be compulsory ie never.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:37

As a comparison as to how things "can" be done in a more fun/fair way, when my son had compulsory music lessons in years 7 and 8 at secondary school, the year end "test" included a compulsory music performance, of playing an instrument for a couple of minutes.

Obviously, grossly unfair for pupils who'd never actually had formal music lessons in playing an instrument to be marked against those who could play at a good level because of prior lessons/practice.

So during the year, the teacher had learned which pupils played which instruments (if any) or had lessons etc., just by chatting, asking questions, "hands up" if you play guitar etc etc.

When it came to the year end test, they were told they couldn't play an instrument that they'd had formal lessons for!

Result was an even playing field. Obviously those who'd had lessons in something were better at reading music, timing, etc., and no doubt some would have played previously but not admitted it, etc. But generally it meant a kid who'd never even played a recorder wasn't competing against some guitar solo genius who could play as well as The Shadows because he'd had private lessons since the age of 18 months!!

The final "performances" were apparently great fun, with the pupils all enjoying it, lots of pupils playing "London's Burning" on the recorder apparently! The teachers marked them on various criteria, such as getting timing right, or reading the music right, etc., not just the end quality of the piece. They also marked on progress made as the teachers had listened to them all practicing a week or two before to gauge the improvement! Our DS said everyone enjoyed it, and that the marking was generally considered to have been fairer, and more importantly, there was no bullying or humiliation for the worst as none of them stood out as being particularly brilliant!

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Yes, and there are ways to achieve that without ritual humiliation and bullying!

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:39

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

They don't affect other pupils, though, so less likely to lead to bullying etc.

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 12:40

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

If answering/reading in front of the class causes significant distress, schools will listen and not make kids do it or make adjustments. My kids school was great on that. For example, they allowed reading out loud in a smaller group at primary. In secondary, when they have to do a speech to a group as part of English GCSE, they’ll allow it to be done just to the teacher and chosen friends.

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:41

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:38

Yes, and there are ways to achieve that without ritual humiliation and bullying!

I think the school needs to address the ritual humiliation and bullying rather than not have sports day.

bakewellbride · 17/05/2024 12:46

Yes I was you op so i agree!

PotatoPudding · 17/05/2024 12:46

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

As a parent, would you be happy for this test to be performed on front of the whole school and hundreds of spectators, then be OK that your child struggled and came last in front of everyone, feeling humiliated and useless, meanwhile everyone else is cheering the child who came first?

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 12:49

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:41

I think the school needs to address the ritual humiliation and bullying rather than not have sports day.

Until they do that though.....

I won’t hold my breath.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:53

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:41

I think the school needs to address the ritual humiliation and bullying rather than not have sports day.

Forgive me if I don't hold my breath. When it comes to schools, very little has changed in the 40 years since I left when it comes to things like bullying, if anything it's got worse and it was pretty awful back then!