Should sports day be optional?

[Nothinglefttosaynow]

I remember dreading sports day as a child, I was slow & awkward and always near the end if not last. It was public embarrassment for me & I dreaded it. My nephew has sports day next week & is already worrying about it. He is fit and healthy but not a fast runner & has come last for the past 3 years. I absolutely agree with kids taking part in sport at school & at home, but I wonder if forcing kids who clearly don't enjoy it to participate in front of a crowd is fair.

I'm in my late 30s and didn't learn "resilience" from having to do sports day, I learned I was shit at sports and shouldn't do it. I wonder why I got fat in my 20s?

At my school the kids who were good at sport were celebrated for it and those of us who were good at things like academic stuff or music were encouraged to keep it quiet lest we make the less able kids feel bad about themselves. How does that help anyone? Those kids won't have careers now in running faster than everyone else, and meanwhile it's taken me years not to feel like an unbearable show off at work when I admit I know something useful.

Why do you all see coming last as failing?

Does sports day happen every day?

Spectacularly missing the point there.

I don't think that, but you'll struggle to find a primary school kid who doesn't think that. That said, DC1 was fit and active but often came last or nearly last but took it very well. I think that's the exception rather than the rule though.

Our primary had a lovely way to do sports day - they mixed the two year groups (exception was reception class) so say yr5&6 and did a mixture of activités - the sprinters of similar times all ran together. They then did alternative type activities - throwing a ball or hop skip, building a tower. It was always was a lovely couple of hours very chilled.

Secondary you choose to put yourself forward for an activity. And the day was made more about fun and team work.

No, and I say that as someone who absolutely hated sports day.

Why should non-sporty children get to opt out and stay at home whereas non-academic children have to struggle in everyday?

And to answer the points about exams not being done in front of everyone - maybe not, but award assemblies are, and newsletters are there for everyone to see - as is all the "best" academic work that goes on the walls or in the corridors.

There does need to be consideration of children who struggle with the dynamic of sports day (common with autistic children) and those who are hopelessly, ritually last by a long margin every single time.

And please, check children can skip before expecting them to do a skipping race. And don't send them stomping back for the rope when they dumped it at the start line after everyone finished while they were still getting tangled up in an attempt to fling it around their body and jump simultaneously.

Most children should be able to take part though. DS's school breaks it into smaller groups which is better than whole class.

Shudders at the memory of "team" sports. It turns out the the bollocking you get for accidentally setting your science experiment on fire is less than the roasting for being unable to throw, catch or run.

Astonishingly, I did get into running in adulthood, but that's because social media confirmed that everything that was "taught" in PE was wrong. Slow is good. It's the foundation for stamina that can then lead to speed. Ranting at wheezing children to speed up is not the way to make them fitter or faster.

No, but the whole school gets to watch when Susie wins the English prize (again) and the whole class knows when Toby wins the spelling test (again).

Children who struggle with academics have to struggle for 5-6 hours a day, five days a week. Why shouldn’t those who excel at sport get their chance to shine too?

The cleverest girl at our school was awful at sport. She was bullied relentlessly for being "nerdy" wearing glasses, being overweight, not being pretty etc, she didn't come to school on non uniform days or occassionally she did, but wore school uniform. She might have been top of the class every day but I doubt she considered it her "chance to shine"
I was seen as a swot at school and wasn't especially popular either, although not bullied.

Conversely the sporty children were usually pretty popular regardless of their ability in the classroom. And that is the case in DC school too.

There's always going to be winners and losers, that's something kids know already. I don't think it's coddling to structure a sports and games day to suit all abilities and have a mix of proper races and fun, silly, laugh your head off, activities for kids who don't want to compete. Isn't the aim to get kids moving? If its not fun, you've failed.

It does feel like there is a lot of projection here. There’s a lot of talk about ridicule and humiliation.

I probably came last (or close to last) in every sports day event I ever took part in. I have zero recollection of being ridiculed or humiliated as a result. It was just a measure of my ability - my ability being not very good. That didn’t say anything about me as a person.

I was top of the class academically though, so it taught me how to lose and how to cope in a scenario where I had to do something I didn’t enjoy and how to cope with failure. Things that I didn’t learn in my comfort zone of a class room. All critically important life skills that I didn’t enjoy learning, but now I am incredibly grateful for.

I still now try to step out of my comfort zone and so things I’m not very good at, as I’m high performing in my (largely academic) career and I really think life skills are learnt when you’re wrong, or last, or the worst at something.

I do not associate that with ridicule or humiliation, no matter what scale I do it on. And sometimes it has been presented to hundreds of people in a foreign language and totally forgetting how to construct a sentence. Not a pleasant experience, but one I learnt from.

Why do children associate losing a low stakes race that someone has to lose with being humiliated?

There’s also prizes for effort and the kids aren’t ordered best to worst for English. My kids primary didn’t have a winner of they spelling test. Kids had spellings based on their ability,

Just because a child isn’t good at Maths, doesn’t mean they’re good at sport.

I don’t think anyone wants to stop sports day, they just think it should be optional.

In my daughters secondary school where it’s optional, about 70% of the year choose to take part. I presume it’s the same for other years.

For some kids it not coming last that bothers them anyway. That wasn’t the reason my daughter didn’t like it.

Yet another poster who clearly thinks the kids who shine academically are a different group to the kids who shine at sports. They're not. Some kids are excellent at both, some crap at both.

If you're going to make this argument, it has to explain why the kids who are crap at both have to be made to feel even worse while the kids who are excellent at both get yet another chance to shine.

@WoshPank I didn't say that at all

But the fact that some children struggle with both isn't a reason to never celebrate either set of achievements.

@ThinkingOfMe there's often prizes for effort when it comes to sports too.

I just can't agree that children should be able to opt out just because they struggle with something. What if someone struggles with everything, do they just never go to school?

Yes! It’s bloody awful. DS hates sports and hates crowds. It’s also pretty boring for the parents. Every single kid in the school has to do a 50 metre sprint, 6 kids at a time. There’s only about 160 kids in DS’s primary but it still took forever. Also, DS is an amputee (foot) but didn’t get an exemption from the school. He was absolutely distraught because he knew he’d finish well behind everyone else. I told him he didn’t have to do it and the teachers could take it up with me if they weren’t happy. For the head, it’s his favourite day of the year and he doesn’t see that others don’t enjoy it.

Why isn't it?

The fact is, it's a false dichotomy you've created there. Some kids are just excellent at both. I know this because one of mine is the top of class, captain of the football team type. All compulsory sports day does is give him a chance to shine even more when he's already not short of them. Meanwhile, other DC really struggle. Including another one of mine, so I see it from both sides here.

Why do children associate losing a low stakes race that someone has to lose with being humiliated?
In my case due to the jeers, name-calling and ritual humiliation that actually happened - great for you that you were spared that.

No school I know of do effort prizes for sports day.

If someone struggles with everything, their struggles shouldn’t be played out in front of the whole school and parents. Maths tests scores are not read out, kids aren’t made to stand up in front of everyone and be tested on maths questions.

There are many reasons for kids not liking sports day anyway. My daughter would have won prizes, she’s sporty but it still wasn’t a day she wanted to take part in. As a parent, I can choose to keep her home and thankfully, you don’t have to agree.

But when Susie wins the English prize (again), do they give the kid who is worst at English a booby prize?

Well this is it. Many of us simply opt DC out if they don't want to do it, regardless of whatever daft claims anyone makes about resilience, obesity, it being the same as never doing maths etc. With the corresponding impact on attendance figures.

However, there's a problem because not all parents are in a position to keep DC off.

Yes - the humiliation of school sport and sport days gave me a lifelong hatred of organised sports.

I wish my parents had let me stay at home but it wasn't something that was even considered possible back then.

Mine didn't mind it but if they had, then I would have kept them at home without a second thought.

Sports day 1982. I knew I was going to come last anyway so I walked it humming the theme to chariots of fire. Got a detention but it was worth it!