Creepy man in a van

[inbedearly]

I went for a run this morning and on my way back through my town I was walking past a snake of traffic in a slow moving traffic jam. As I stopped to cross over the road, a man in a van rolled down his window and leered at me, then blew me a kiss before making a sexual licking his lips gesture. It's hard to explain in words but the way he did it and how he was looking at me was clearly to meant intimidate me. It gave me the chills and was vile.

I felt suddenly furious and without thinking I mouthed an angry "oh fuck off" to him before crossing and walking away. I then saw that the traffic jam was catching up with me so rather than have him drive past me again I turned to look into a shop window until he'd driven away. That in turn made me furious that I'd felt I needed to do that.

I'm a 44 year old peri menopausal woman. I don't get ogled as much as when I was younger but it does seem to happen when I'm out for a run wearing leggings and a normal long sleeves running top.

I know we've all experienced this, every day of our lives to some extent since we were young girls. I don't know why this mornings incident really got to me though. He was so vile and creepy. I'm furious some men are so entitled. I wouldn't DREAM of doing that even if I saw a man I fancied. What on earth possesses them.

Anyway peri rant over. WIBU to mouth fuck off?

Good for you. I think the more we act like we're not intimidated by this stupidly disgusting behaviour (even if we are intimidated, which I always am), then hopefully the more it'll make them feel like pathetic little pricks. They're on a power trip, trying to make women feel small and scared, and if we call them out on it, even by our facial expressions, and they don't get the result they were looking for, hopefully it'll make them think twice. Like when someone makes a joke and nobody laughs, that person just feels a bit stupid and may think twice about making a similar joke in future. Maybe they'll quit the behaviour if they start feeling a bit stupid doing it.

One can but hope.

But it is so horrid. So well done for going with your initial reaction to show him how pathetic you thought he was.

Thanks! I think part of me worried that my anger might have satisfied him in some way - that he felt good about getting a "reaction". 🤮 But I couldn't think of a better alternative. If I ignored him by looking away he might feel he'd succeeded in scaring me.

I get the impression they get their kicks from women looking embarrassed/ awkward/ scared of them. So I'd definitely say your "oh fuck off" wasn't the timid/ afraid reaction he was likely after. It's hard to know though I guess - our minds don't work the same way as theirs, so goodness knows what the motivation for them is. But at least expressing our anger at it might make us feel better, even if it doesn't affect them!