To wonder why my boss does this?

[Arielhills]

My boss is a nice enough woman. She’s fine as a boss, not the best I’ve ever had but far from the worst.

She often brings in sweet treats for the team, maybe once a month. Doughnuts, cakes, packs of biscuits etc. which is a nice gesture but every time she will say ‘oh none for me I’m watching my weight, do you know how many calories in a doughnut!’ or ‘I will have to run x amount of miles to burn that many calories’

It really irritates me. I’m not going to complain, I like me a free doughnut every now and then but I don’t know what possesses her to do it. Feels like she’s saying ‘here are some free cakes but don’t eat them because you’ll end up fat’

AIBU to think this is just bizarre behaviour?

Sounds like she is just being nice?

Why doesn't she just bring in some grapes and other fruit instead

It is not vastly uncommon.

Many people with disordered eating try to feed other people.

This is quite common for people with an unhealthy relationship with food.

They buy this food to test their self control and then they feel good to be the one not eating it when everyone else is.

I’m with you. It would feel like she’s putting you in a position of being “being greedy” (but obviously having a cake isn’t being greedy) just to judge you.

I’m sure it’s more about her than you, but that’s how it would make me feel.

I don’t know why she doesn’t choose to bring in healthier things. No one expects her to bring anything. The rest of the team only bring in something if it’s their birthday and even that’s completely optional, no pressure if you don’t.

I don’t know her well enough to know about her eating habits/relationship with food. She’s pretty much average build but I know that’s not an indicator of whether she has disordered eating.

It doesn’t feel like she’s doing a nice thing when she comments negatively about the food she’s brought.. maybe it is just my issue though 😅 feels judgemental.

Cross posted with you @TheRealSlimShandy but I think that’s what grates on my nerves 😅

To some extent she’s detracting from the pleasure she’s providing.

Would maybe a jokey “oi Im trying to enjoy this” nip it in the bud.

Because while as others have said - it’s possibly that she has issues with food, so might others and she’s possibly making them feel the guilt etc that seems to go hand in hand with having a treat.

I don’t know her well enough to know about her eating habits/relationship with food.

Yes you do - you know she brings unhealthy food for others, doesn't eat it and makes comments. She has an unhealthy relationship with food.

This is classic disordered eating behaviour - a lot of anorexics become obsessed with food even if they can't eat it. Of course she might not have disordered eating, she might just be incredibly annoying (the work version of what the young'uns call an Almond Mom) - either way it's ridiculous. Eat it, don't eat it, but shut up about it! I'd go with a joke as someone has said above - make it clear you don't take her seriously. But I'd seethe inside!

Doh! I’d just ignore her and enjoy the free treat

She buys treats for the team because she feels she should (which is nice) but watches her weight. It really doesn't matter. Eat them or don't. Personally I would eat them!

Eat them and say thank you, good thing I don't have to worry I can eat what I like. If she's playing mind games, you've won. If not, you've still won...think about it, she's either Subconsciously or consciously playing mind cames..either way you've done her

Eh… doesn’t bother me. I have a coworker who loves to bake. She also spends a lot of effort on keeping her weight reasonable. She will bake for the enjoyment and bring the results to the office.

Sounds like a win/win to me

If she brought in rice cakes and apples, you’d have a lot more to say about her.