Having to get up at 2am for drunk husband

[Ragingbull1]

I have to be up for work at 630am, seven days a week. I’m self employed and just accept this.

However, I am being consistently woken up in the middle of the night, by the television blaring and my drunk husband passed out on the sofa. We are in a terraced house, and the neighbour next door consistently complains about noise, so I have no choice, other than to get up at maybe 2/3am and turn the television off and then go back to bed. Then he will come to bed at about 4 am and wake me up again. Then I am up for work at 6:30 am.

This isn’t all the time - maybe 5 times a month. But I’m at my wits end with it. I’m now up and working and he’s sleeping and won’t get up till about 9am.

This isn’t a complaint about alcohol- he has a very respectable job and doesn’t drink every night!

I blurted out to him this morning that this feels like abuse. A tad dramatic but I’m feeling quite violated if I’m honest.

This has been going on for many years.

Would like to know what other people would make of this.

YABU - it’s only a few times a month
YANBU - this is not acceptable

You do have a choice. You could get a timer plug and set it to turn the power off to the TV at an earlier time. Then it would automatically switch off.

5 x a month is more than once a week. Weekly binge drinking until you pass out and piss off your wife and neighbours is a drink problem.

It is all the time despite what you say - it’s every bloody week.

It does sound like alcohol is a problem to be honest. But you can set the tv to turn off at a certain time I think. Have you got a spare room? I'd be telling him to sleep there and not come in and wake you up!

It's more than once a week then.

He's getting drunk at least once a week.
Why?

Get wireless headphones for the TV and insist he uses them. It's not ok to be blaring a TV when others are asleep.

I agree. We like a drink, so I am not dramatic about it at all, but this is bad op.

Yep I like a drink but getting pass out drunk and blaring the TV all night, 4-5 times a month, is not normal. If you have asked him to stop and he refuses, then he doesn’t respect you. I’d say he can choose - keep doing it and move out, or consider your feelings and rein in getting SO drunk and don’t blare the TV.

Getting drunk so often is totally out of order. I would just poor a jug of cold water over him! He won’t be safe to drive or work in the morning. You need to have a serious discussion with him. Why is the TV on so loud?

@Ragingbull1

YABU - it’s only a few times a month

A few times a month is too often though. Not "just" for the inconvenience to your neighbours, the lack of consideration to you, but also his own physical and mental health.

Do you have children OP?

• If so, how is this affecting them?
• if not, do think hard how your future (yours, not his) looks with someone who behaves this way and the pressure it would put on your income - especially as a self-employed person rather than a salaried employee. 🌹

His behaviour's scummy and the opposite of respectable. What's the opposite of respectable job?

My husband does this probably 8 times a month, it's not good

I hope this doesn’t come across as rude but why have you been married 5 times?

Most people I know get married once or twice and then after that swear to never getting married again.

I’m just wondering why you’d still want to get married a 4th or 5th time?

Would you plan on getting married a 6th time?

I’m not being rude, I am genuinely interested.

1.) Sort a timer out for tv to switch off
2.) Have a rule if he stays up drinking past 10pm say, he spends all night on the sofa. It’s not fair to wake you up.

When my husband did this or went to pub late, I’d dump a spare duvet and cushions on the sofa. Otherwise he’d wake me and I’d be so angry I couldn’t go back to sleep for hours.

Not tackling main issue here but what about a plug in timer on the electric so TV switches off at midnight or so. Thenleave the drunken fucker there

I cant stand any man that drinks and to be honest i would divorce him end of.
Im not saying you should.
But i just dont know how women put up with a drunk for a man even if it is just a few times a month its always in the back of your head waiting for the next time.
On edge of what hes gonna be acting like must have loud noise tv music its just not worth it to me.
Been there got rid been single ever since.

Plenty of alcoholics hold down respectable jobs and don’t get drunk every night.

alcohol is damaging his primary relationship. Alcohol is damaging is relationship with the neighbors. He has a problem with alcohol.

5th divorce did you not learn anything from the first 2 or do you just like wedding cake.
Most learn something after the 1st failed marriage.
Sorry not being mean but bloody hell wow 5.
Im invested with a lot of whys.

Can you start a thread on AMA please.
I have louds to ask.🤔🙂

I think the "off timer" is usually an option in modern TVs. It's been a while since I used this option l, but I vaguely remember going into Menu then Setup then Time and make your options there. Or maybe check the manual (hard copy or online) for your TV. 🌹