DS12 issues at school - bullying

[MessyNDepressy]

DS is in first year at high school, just about to go into second year. He’s had a great time so far and is usually pretty happy overall. He’s been acting a bit off the past few weeks - had a bit of an attitude, a few emotional outbursts and been quite clingy, none of which is really like him. I had put it down to pre teen hormones etc but tonight he has spoken to me about a boy in his class basically picking on him.

The boy in question has been a nightmare from day one from what I’ve heard over the past year. Always fighting, causing chaos in classes, has been suspended multiple times, always on a behavior card etc. This boy has been targeting DS for a few weeks now, calling him names, slagging him, getting slightly physical by trying to goad DS into fighting and today tried to stab him in the face with a pencil. I would have no problem with DS punching this kid in the face and I’m pretty sure it would solve the problem if he did it hard enough but if I’m being honest, DS is scared of him. He’s a pretty easy going, gentle kid. I suggested to DS that I speak to the school discreetly but on one hand he seems terrified of the possible repercussions of that yet on the other seems to want me to.

I have no idea what to do for the best. It breaks my heart that DS is having to put up with this and I’m worried if I don’t do anything it’ll get worse or more physical. I feel sick at the thought that I can’t protect my child.

AIBU to speak to the school? We don’t live in the nicest area, it’s pretty rough and there’s definitely the risk of him being called a “grass” etc. I also don’t know how much they will actually do considering the boy’s track record and the fact they’ve not managed to improve his behavior so far. I hate all of this so much 😣.

100% contact the school

Go in. Before it gets worse

Contact the school. While your son is there, they have a duty of care towards him. You never know, they may be looking for that lady excuse needed to expel him?!

*last excuse

@MessyNDepressy you talk to the school and make it clear that the boy mustn't know that it's coming from you. When they speak to the boy, they can tell him that someone else in the class saw him trying to stab DS in the face with a pencil. Or a teacher walking past the classroom saw it.

you also make sure the seating plans mean your DS is not near this boy in class

The school can't act if they don't know. At least give them a chance to help.

Your DS can't be expected to deal with it on his own - it isn't working & it's making him stressed and upset.

And agree with others the school may well be v willing to sanction the bully if he's a general troublemaker, it's a win win for them in some ways as awful as it sounds.

But your DS should tell his head of year or form tutor or someone he likes and trusts at the school every time this kid targets him. It probably won't be a one and done thing sadly if this kid is a piece of work, but the more info your DS can give ultimately the more likely it can be stopped. Hope it works out for him.

Depending on where you are in the UK, the school might have a campus cop who the school can go to for advice and preventative measures. Definitely raise this with the school,whatever else you do, that's a minimum.