To tell my sister this? (Parents will)

[Username83058265]

My parents are getting on a bit and are starting to talk to us (me and my DSis) about our inheritance.

DSis and me have lived very different lives. I'm quieter and studied more and kept on a career path, working my way up the ladder. I bought a small place about 10 years ago as a doer-upper, did it up and used the money to buy a nicer place. I won't deny I've had good luck as well like property prices going up just at the right moment for me.

My DSis has had a different life. Left school early, lots of different jobs and enjoyed spending her money on hobbies and holidays and nice cars. She also rents a nice house. She deserves good things, I won't deny.

But now she is saying that our parents should give her the house 100% and it's only fair as I already have my own house.

I truly really want her to be happy but I also think it's a bit CF. As we've got a few years yet (fingers crossed) until we'll come into the inheritance, I think rather than her just having the house, I think I want to suggest that she gives up her nice rental house and new car, saves a bit and gets a mortgage on a little flat to develop her credit and assets and then once the house is ours I'll sell her my bit and she can get a mortgage on it.

Knowing hers and her husbands salary I think it's doable and to my mind fairer than her just taking the house wholesale. AIBU??

Have your parents asked you whether you would be happy with DSis inheriting the entire house? If not, then just ignore her CFery. There's no point in giving her money advice. I'm sure she knows that she could make better financial choices.

My parents are nice people. They'll probably split it however we ask them to.

Ha ha absolutely not, don't entertain this for one minute. Engage the tinkly laugh and say "don't be silly, our parents will divide it 50/50". You never know what lies ahead, illness, etc. split it fairly then do as you will

Your sister is being a CF. Your parents should split everything g equally. If when they're gone she can buy you out then she can get the house.

“But now she is saying that our parents should give her the house 100% and it's only fair as I already have my own house.”

Doesn’t matter what your Dsis says the decision is your parents, so whatever they decide to do is what should happen

I’d expect your parents to do a 50/50 split.

If they're nice, reasonable people then you should just tell them in private that you don't think it would be fair and you'd like to stick with a 50/50 split. Don't rile DSis up with financial advice.

50/50.

say to your sister that you have never judged how she chooses to live and spend her money, but if she insists she should get your share of their estate, you will expect her to sit down with you while you go through all the choices she has made that have lead to her not having a house to see if you think it’s fair she doesn’t have one, or that it the case she made different choices.

and your reminder that a care home for dementia costs around £8k a month in the south east- not even a fancy place - 5/6 years of living in a care home can wipe out any estate for many.it doesn’t follow you will definately get an inheritance that’s enough to buy a house.

Who is she saying it to, that your parents should leave their house 100% to her. Is she saying it to you, or to your parents?
If she is saying it to you, then your response should be that she too could have her own house by now if she hadn't spent her money on expensive hobbies, fancy holidays and nice cars.
If she is saying it to your parents, be very, very careful. Money does strange things to people no matter how well you think you know them. Make sure your parents are aware right now that you would be very unhappy if there was anything other than an equal split.
There are some circumstances when a fair split is not necessarily an equal split, but this is not one of them.

I actually can’t believe she has even suggested it.

I wouldn't get financial advice to her. I'd say no but she can buy you out and keep the property. Point out you don't know what will happen in future, health etc you don't want to chest your self out of your inheritance

You're correct - your sister should plan for her own future rather than assuming she has a greater right to your parents' house just because you already have a home.

First, there's no guarantee that there will be any house to inherit. Perish the thought, but if either/both of your parents need care in their old age, the house might need to be sold to fund this.

Second, it's unfair to assume she should have the house just because she "needs" it. She's in the position she is because of her own prior decisions. Why should you have to compensate because you've made more responsible financial decisions?

There's also grandchildren to consider. Do you or your sister have children or plan to have them? If your sister inherits the house it will the pass to her children, which may come back to haunt future realtionships between cousins.

In my opinion, unless there's any inequality in terms of relationship between you two sisters and your parents, it would be safer and fairer to inherit assets equally.

What an outrageous suggestion. I bet she will expect you to do all the will executor work as well and hand everything to her.

With her half of their house, she can buy herself a smaller property presumably. Particularly if they have savings to pass on as well.

Have you got kids? Has she?
As if she tries to take your entire inheritance, she'll be depriving your kids as well.

If she talked them into having the whole house for herself, I'd cut her off. Greedy, selfish, reckless cheeky fucker.

In what world does she think she is right to say she should inherit everything just because she doesn’t own a property! What a cheek! You need to stand your ground or you will be steamrollered over and won’t get what you deserve. Honestly if this was my sister I would have hit the roof and made sure she knew it!

You're only in the position you are in because of the choices you have made. Your DSis made different choices. That's not your problem. She is being a CF. I can't imagine your parents would write a will to this effect if they are decent people.

It's 50/50, and I'd also ask your parents not to discuss it. You month made your choices as to what you wanted to do, she wanted to travel, and did so, you started 'real' work earlier. That doesn't entitled her to more than you for different lifestyles. Explain to your parents that you don't want to see a family rift, but that your sister's expectation are not fair, if they ask you about it

I don't anticipate getting any inheritance it may never happen, if your parents end up requiring 24 hour care there maybe nothing to inherit! Part of my job and I see the effect it has on families.

That was perfect.