I’m pathologically incapable of having fun?

[Giveupnow]

Anyone else feel like this or know how to “let go / loosen up/ unclench”. I don’t know how to describe it other than I just cannot have fun anymore.

I can have a conversation with someone but not really laugh or make jokes. I struggle to play with my children, or be silly with them. I couldn’t have “a good time” with friends if it killed me. I don’t seem to have alot to say anymore. Seem to only talk about functional things. Relationship with husband strained and I can’t seem to flirt or have fun. I’m just the most uptight person. everyone around me will be laughing and I’ll just think it’s not that funny.

background - I’m happy with life, but it’s the same old struggle with young kids. But I am content, smiley, eg will sing in the shower and not depressed. Am an introvert but it’s got way worse. 2 young kids (1 and 3) and had a difficult few years, PND and PTSD following traumatic labours.

background - I’m happy with life

You don't sound happy.
Are you still in therapy for either PND or PTSD.

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time op.

Have you always been like this in regards to laughing/playing/social situations? Or did this slowly come on after all you've been through?

Do I not sound happy? I try to make the best of things and have a positive outlook. I don’t feel sad/ down? I feel happy about small things most days?

I’ve always been on the reserved side and never been “a giggler” when a teenager etc (eg even back then my friends would be giggling away and I just wouldn’t get it) but it’s how far far worse , and seemingly I feel a bit like a robot.

Are there any shows that make you belly laugh when you watch them? Peep Show? Miranda? Blackadder? Something else? Maybe try and make time for the occasional half hour when you can veg out on the sofa and watch (with husband if you have the same sense of humour, or with friend if not, or with kids if it’s e.g. Miranda and kid-appropriate, so not Peep Show then) and that can help you relax and reconnect with your sense of fun a bit?

Good idea. I guess not really, it’s like I’m incapable of that sort of thing now. I really didn’t realise how unusual it was I guess

I think maybe you're thinking about depression as sadness when it can sometimes feel like a numbness.

In saying that, it sounds like the life stage you're in is just hard going. Maybe try and make time for things you enjoy/ed and see if that helps, if not maybe see the GP?

I've always been a bit like this OP! I find "larking around" impossible and cringe so badly when other people do it.
I do laugh at tv shows, and in conversations though, but it's quite "controlled" if that makes sense