To be glad my kids are grown up but ………

[Threeboysadogacatandakitten]

My youngest has just cycled off to his part time job having cooked lunch for himself and his dad. One more exam and he’s finished school. He knows exactly what he’s going to do next. The older two are much older, working, doing their own thing apart from collecting a bit of mum’s home cooking occasionally. I am so glad to be at this stage in life but …..

The children over the fence have a paddling pool and slide out. They’ve been playing in it since they got in from school at 3. They are having a picnic tea now. Squeals of joy for the last two hours and it’s making me feel really melancholy for the olden days. The long water slide that ruined the grass, trampoline and slide likewise. The constant wet clothes from water blasters and all the little kids digging in the freezer or asking for an ice cream cone because this miserable mummy wouldn’t pay ice cream van prices but kept a shop bought supply. Long summer evenings playing and occasionally a wee glass of wine in the mud bath garden once I got the other kids to go home.

In many was I’m glad those days are done and I haven’t thought about it for years but I hope my children’s memories are as happy as mine.

It will all come round again when the grandkids arrive!! I met my friend last week for coffee and she had her gs and understandably enough he couldn't sit for a minute. I was so relieved to be over all that running after them and enjoying doing my own thing now. I do have a gd so lots of fun at times but this life after kids has lots of perks too.

Me too op. Every weekend when we walk past the neighbours supervising bikes or skateboards and we are off to see a band

Yes i remember them days and how hard it was.
Mine are adults now and im so pleased about it.
I often hear the parents on the school runs walking past my window and im still in pjs thinking thank god i dont have to do that now.
Or im in town and i see tantrums.
I go on holiday when i want and its freedom not to have responsibility anymore.
Week ends at the beach in the summer i can relax now not having to run up and down.
But i have notice about myself that now them stages are over i really dont like being around little ones that much their just so load.
Im very young to have adult children but pleased i had them when i did.

YANBU at all OP.

I'm happy to send you a video of mine screaming after colliding with each other on the swings for the thousandth time though if you need a reminder that it wasn't all fun and icecream

@earther I find myself being fine around noisy children - now I know that none of them are my responsibility :)

@junebirthdaygirl I have some step grandchildren but two of them live abroad and the older one is 12. He’d rather play games and watch TV now, although the crazy golf was a great hit!

@mitogoshi yes, even just being able to pop to a shop without it being a military operation is handy.

@earther I’m the opposite. I’m quite old to have a 17 year old. I do sometimes feel like I’ve been parenting for a very long time.

@CelesteCunningham I can recall being on the phone to a friend with older children when mine were little. I told her I’d have to go as someone was screaming (before mobile phones). Her retort, “Oh just ignore it, unless there’s blood”. Her children have also grown up to be responsible human beings.

Its all gone quiet now, must be bath time. I don’t miss that bit either.

Mine are 2 and 4. Some days it's so hard. Some days I go to work for a break.
...then at the weekend they were in the garden of our new (ish, we moved in September) house and they were giggling and splashing around in a water table. The little one fell over and came for a big wet cuddle and I could make everything right. It got me, usually not an emotion in sight, all teary eyed as I imagined not being able to solve all of their problems with a cuddle and a mini milk 😂😂😂

So, yep, I think even though I'm not there yet and a bit of peace and less crumbs on the floor sounds enticing - I can totally understand you feeling like that.

I'm one of those awful people who puts the paddling pool out for the dog and makes it wear a birthday hat. Get a dog!

I've just noticed your user name!

Mine are mid to late teens and, although I'm not quite out of the woods yet, I love them being older. They'll all clear off in the next ten years and I'll be alone. I'm enjoying still being needed now because I know that will dwindle as these next years go by.

Just wait a bit OP, any day now your 3 will each have 3 of their own, that's 9 ice creams each run and you can forget having grass. I'm well over 70 now, next week I have 2 child free days. Wine will be consumed in quantities and my carefully curated weight loss diet will disappear in a sea of pizza and chips. I shall love every minute. Poor granddad looks a bit mazed but he is chief t v operator and reads a grand story

I had my 3rd when my eldest was 22, so I'm doing it all over again! I'm revelling in the toddler years again and appreciate it so much more this time around.

Get them a hot tub 😬

@Posithor The years go by so, so quickly. I look at these three young men towering over me and it seems so little time since I had two under two or an eleven year old, a nine year old and a newborn.

@HaystackHair Yes, it’s still a mad house here. I do love my animals!

@DeadbeatYoda There is something quite amazing watching them grow into adults. I thought I would hate the teenage years but they’ve been some of the best.

@Notthatcatagain I can’t see ds1 & ds2 having children, although stranger things have happened. Ds3 is only 17 so I’ll be too old by that time. They’ll be bringing me the ice cream.

@jorenter Just 11 years between my eldest and youngest but I’ve really enjoyed doing it all again. Ds3 has definitely benefited from my having done it all before.

@Bringitonnowibeg It’s me that needs the hot tub 😁

I have three adult children and two grandchildren.
Come September I'm back on school run with my grandchild starting primary.
I can't believe I'm doing school runs again I hated the school run first time round.

Oh OP 😭 I get you completely.

It was a immense privilege to experience children's summer joy and I feel wistful too on summer afternoons. I only have one DS but we lived in a neighbourhood where all the kids played out after school and at weekends so he made loads of friends and so did I. All those long light evenings sitting out and hearing them play and laugh non-stop - priceless precious memories.

Some of the kids are still good friends and they meet in the pub these days (they're 18/19). I'm still friends with a couple of the mums and we do coffees and drinks now.

But those were halcyon days and I'll always remember them with great joy. I could easily not have been a mum, but I was fortunate to have DS, and I absolutely loved those summer days.

Hold those memories tight OP. It was the stuff of life, right there.

@Threeboysadogacatandakitten

I am no where near through it 2 boys 5 and 8 but they were much wanted and very much waited for (first at 40) but I have so far loved every moment good and bad.

If you’ve not read it then “I love you forever” by Robert Munsch maybe worth a read. Spoiler alert it’s a tear jerker but I love it!

lovely post op xx

Cherish every next day too you're still they're mum. You'll soon begin to enjoy the freedom. Good luck

@Maverick66 I’m Grandma to dsd’s little boy. She works in a school and was able to do the school run herself. I did, however, do all the primary sports days, concerts, open afternoons and in service training days but he’s off to secondary now.

@PillowTime My middle boy is still friends with some of the children he grew up with and ds3 is friends with a girl he went to nursery with.

@Doingthework I haven’t read the book but will have a look. I loved the baby and toddler years but I expected I would. My surprise was how much I enjoyed the teenagers. I had my 3rd at 42 after 3 losses and wouldn’t change anything.

@Monty27 I keep telling I will always be their mum and they know it!