Is this abusive? Rude? Nasty? Or just plain miserable?

[Imn73]

DP is often in what I can only describe as a bad mood, for no specific reason that I can identify. I knew this before we had DS and I know it’s now my fault I’m having to cope with it.

I find it really unsettling and exhausting. At the weekend I was parking into a tight space so he got ds out of the car and waited for me. I could see ds trying to chat to him and get his attention (he’s nearly 2) but dp was just staring into space.

He will often sit with ds looking at him while he glares into the distance and I have to say ds is looking at you… he will be very blunt at times, for example the other day it was hot and I asked if he wanted a drink and he said no in a very defensive tone. I don’t think I’m reading into it.

we had a walk on Sunday and he barely spoke, I find myself feeling anxious about what sort of mood he will be in and always trying to cheer him up. If I ask what’s wrong he says he’s human and isn’t going to be smiling all the time (never asked him to do that…)

He is adamant he is not depressed or has mental health issues and gets quite nasty if you gently suggest it.

I feel low and anxious around him and just don’t know how to manage it.

I feel low and anxious around him and just don’t know how to manage it.

You leave, before it starts affecting DS.

You don't have to manage a rude and miserable grown man. Tell him to tell you what's up, or ship up and out. Anyone that makes you feel low and anxious shouldn't be there.

Would you describe him as being introverted? From what you say, it sounds like he's just happy in his own head and doesn't like too much small talk.

But if you're not happy then the reason for his behaviour is irrelevant, really - you don't have to stay.

Has he always been like that? Maybe that's just how he is?

Spend more time with people who you feel happier around.

Whatbis he like around other people? If he is quiet with everyone, it is possible that DP just enjoys his own company and struggles to make conversation as often as you would like him to. If he is outgoing with others and just quiet/moody with you, perhaps it is time to part ways.

Sounds like my ex husband and is one of the reasons he is an ex.

You have the power to choose a different life that does not involve walking on eggshells around him or worrying that it will affect your child's self-esteem (at best) or that your child will begin to model him (at worst)... actually I'm not sure which of those is best/worst for your child in the long run to be honest.

and I know it’s now my fault I’m having to cope with it.

sadly though, now your child is also

So you new what he was like but still set up home with him and had a child with him.
Why bring a child in to it all when you new all this.
Sorry but you got no one to blame but yourself but its not your childs fault.

If your not happy do something about it you have many options.
If you leave you will be in some ways tagged to him for many years because you have a child together you have to co parent and be adults about it.