I’m worthless and can’t see a way out of this.

[Littleevie]

I just need some advice as I feel completely worthless and fed up. I’m a lone parent to a beautiful 4 year old and they are the only thing keeping me going at the moment. I’m struggling to find work, have been trying for months and months and getting no where. Either my job application is rejected or I don’t hear anything at all. I’ve had a few interviews, some I feel went well but I wasn’t successful. I feel like employers think I can’t be flexible due to being a parent and so many jobs I look at say you need to be flexible or work weekends, out of hours which I just can’t do. I just feel like I’m wasting my time/life at the minute. I’m trying to better myself but it all just feels completely pointless because I get no where. My self esteem is rock bottom. I feel so lonely, I don’t have many people in my life really and have just moved into a new area. I am late 20s now and I feel like my life is passing me by And I’m just in the same position I was 2,3 years ago and I really just hate myself for It. I feel frumpy, tired all the time. I see all these put together mums at school run and wish I could be like them. Just so fed up and I don’t know what to do anymore

Could you possibly ask your local Job Centre to look over your CV and covering letter for you?

Are you remembering to tailor your letter and CV to each job?

Please don't think of yourself as 'worthless' - you're in the doldrums now, but you're doing more than many could: you've had a child and you're looking after them on your own. That's quite an achievement.

I am hearing so many stories at the moment about people applying for hundreds of jobs, giving up searches because they aren’t getting anywhere.

I know this doesn’t give you much hope, but I wanted to let you know that the job market is going through a really weird time and it is nothing to do with you.

Definitely have someone look at your CV.

Also, only apply for jobs that would suit your need for flexible working. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment.

Temp agencies can also be good places to look as they’ll help with your CV and often have permanent recruitment arms.

@Littleevie I was literally thinking of posting something similar myself! I think the job market is really tough at the moment and it's not just you, but it's particularly hard for single parents who are trying to balance everything and really need a job too. I've never been out of work and even had several simultaneous jobs while at school. Usually I have no problems finding a new job when I want one but things have changed.

Last year I was let go while pregnant and my partner left me so I'm a single mum of a young baby looking for a new job. Been looking for 4 months now and it's so hard looking for a job while looking after him. Prepping and doing interviews often means not sleeping and having to ask for childcare from family so when I repeatedly don't get the job it feels devastating and exhausting and makes me feel like I'm failing my child. I saved hard when I still had a job so I have savings but I'm starting to panic a bit and I feel emotionally I need a job too. I really struggle with how to approach talking about my childcare situation as I feel like I shouldn't have to mention it but at the same time I want to to avoid setting expectations I can't meet.

My advice is to keep trying but since your DS is school age you should have time to do other things like get some interview advice and really prep for interviews thoroughly. Ask for someone to review your CV. Reach out to your network and maybe even attend industry events if at all feasible.

To make yourself feel better - I try and do exercise a few times a week and I still put in effort to my appearance and I think this also helps even if my self esteem has taken a hit with all this going on.

I agree with the other posters.
But.
Whilst we can fall into the trap in a capitalist society of thinking that our value lies in doing a job, it's important to remember that your intrinsic value as a human being is not tied to whether or not you have a job.
Try not to let whether or not you have a job define you. Think about your character and values, what you give to your child, things you are grateful for every day.

Keep trying, but remember that the people not hiring you don't know you, so don't take it personally.