I'll try to keep this short. Been with DP a year. A lot of that has been long distance. We are both separated and divorces still going through, which will take a little while at least on my side. I have one dc aged 9, he has none. We actually met as an exit affair from our marriages- no judgment please, my spouse was very abusive and his marriage was a roommate situation. His family dont know i am separated or how we met because they are religious and he thinks it would shock them or put them off me. Regardless, the issue at the moment is that we are not ready for him to move in with me and my dc, and his family see this as a red flag that we are moving 'too slow'. For context they are from another culture where relationships turn into marriages fast and his DB moved in with his gf's kids after less than a year. (NB though he has divorces in his family and that didnt work out very well with his DB who is having problems in his relationship!) Coming from the UK I think it is so normal to not rush especialy when you have kids and are recently out of a marriage!!
But my partner told me today that his older DB has said that he should dump me, move back to their hometown and find a woman, which will be 'easy' because he has a good body and owns a property there. It sounds like he just laughed this off and he told me about it expecting me to think it was funny too but to me it isn't! We are very serious and the reason i am taking it slow with my dc and we are planning our future is because it is real for me and i want to do it right, for her as well as for us. I dont think he would like it if i told him a year on that my family was telling me to leave him for someone else. Apparently his DB is encouraging him to have kids but i am only early 30s and I want kids too and it is something we have discussed anyway. so dont see his brother's issue with the idea of us having kids. I guess it would actually make more sense if his brother disapproved of the way we met or something, but he doesn't know that. So i am a bit upset that my partner has not stuck up for me to his DB, and that his DB is talking about our relationship in such a flippant, disrespectful way. Also, DB recently cheated on his long term partner who ended up taking him back and has been divorced twice, so it's not like he is a relationship guru.
Aibu to feel my partner should have told his DB he was being disrespectful?