To strongly suggest DH finds a way of being contactable on his business trip when I am 30 wks?

[MargaretMountford4Mayor]

DH is going on a stupid pissing business trip next week (2-3 days).

I made the point kind of strongly that he should get hold of a roaming mobile through work to be contactable. Apparently this is utterly impossible and unreasonable - and constitutes me capriciously sabotaging his entire trip.

From past experience, he can call me from the hotel, but it is hopeless for me to try to contact him. No office contact point, hotel doesn't apparently speak english, his mobile doesn't work. I discovered how hard he was to get hold of last time trying to phone him from A&E - and wouldn't really like to have that repeated - even if it is unlikely.

Now I'm not anti him going - saying repeatedly how I'll be fine. However, I'm not 100% health- been requested to go in for monitoring 3 times a week on account of high b.p. - not to mention that I've sporadically had alarmingly strong contractions.

AIBU?

I know it'll be all high emotion and big dramatic gestures tonight. Possibly my view is clouded since a few of my friends have had the baby arrived very early and very unexpectedly.

I don't think you re being unreasonable.

If he wanted to be contactable he would.

Is he perhaps having jitters and acting up because he's soon to become a dad (maybe he's scared)?

No comment - but I love your name

ynbu - I'm nearly same weeks as you and in ok health (sorry to hear about your problems) and I'd want my dh to be contactable. as you say

Is there no way he can hire one when he gets there or get his enabled when over there (most mobiles are international capable -its a matter of setting them up and I can't believe his office would be against the idea of making him more contactable).

YANBU

Can you get hima cheap roaming mobile (maybe pay you go) - though obv depends where he's going. That is only an emergency phone, that he can keep on?

hmmmm my dh travels internationally for work and he is always contactable by mobile. Can't he get his phone upgraded?

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, but I don"t think its worth rowing about [says the woman who threw plates at her dh when he was 2 hours late one night when 36wk prg with pfb} . Make sure you have the fax number of his hotel. What country is he going to?

yanbu definately not.

my dh travels a lot with work and always contactable. Even managed to arrange not to do any long distance trips in last 4 weeks - bless his little cottons.

i would agree with lauriefairycake maybe something more.

dh doesn't have a mobile that worked in US but swapped with another guy at work whose did while he was there on a recent trip so we could keep in touch. is that an option?

Why can he not use his own mobile? Is it a coverage issue or that he does not have international roaming which should be easy to fix? And where on earth is he going that the hotel reception do not speak English? If you have had occasion to try and track him down in the past from A&E, then I would say he is being entirely unreasonable in not making efforts to be contactable!

YANBU your husband sounds like he doesn't give a sh*t about your health or the baby's. Sorry to be blunt, I'm sure that's not the case but it's ridiculous that he's not going to make sure he's contactable and it's just plain weird that he seems to be actually against being contactable. He needs to get his priorities right.

No, you are definitely not being unreasonable. HE is.

My DH turned down a trip to Kiev when there was a Scotland match on there..which would have been a dream come true for him..because I was 34 weeks..so YANBU

Why would his trip be sabotaged by him being accessible?

yanbu at all

I had another thought - sorry, but your dh's behavious is bugging me! If there is no way for you to contact him, how are his office going to contact him? Or are they happy for him to disappear off to wherever it is and be out of touch?

Are you sure he's not having an affair? Sorry, I find it most odd that he's not contactable. Most places do have phones.

Is he a spy?

The long and short of it is that he need's to be contactable, this is not a matter that is open for discussion, he's being unreasonable and you are most certainly not.

His company sound weirdly tight, he goes on trips but doesn't have a mobile that works there?

My DH travels some for work. He was in Japan when I started having bad pains while pg with DS2 (round ligament pain, it turned out). No normal mobiles work in Japan. His boss went out and rented him a phone so he could be reachable.

Oh FFS ...... where, exactly, is he going that has hotels, but doesn't have a contact number and where the staff don't speak English. Not meaning to be all superior and "British" or anything but if a hotel is geared up to take English speaking business guests (as opposed to a backstreet B&B) then someone there will speak (at least rudimentary) English and enough to put you through to room so and so.

All he has to do if he wanted to would be to call you first, with his room number, and the name and number of the hotel. Has he given you the hotel's name at least ??

The hotel think that they speak english - but in reality their comprehension is very poor. Takes three or four attempts to locate the guest in the hotel - messages out of the question. I think something to do with the local accent makes them not attuned to how english people speak.

He's going to work with the local office - so his own office never have to contact him there.

We've settled on a comprehensive list of contact numbers from guys in the local office that he will be working in - plus obviously the hotel number. He's travelling with his boss, who has a mobile that is OK, and can be relied on to take a message accurately and deliver it.

I don't think we're in affair territory - though I appreciate the concerns. Apparently he was given a talking-to by a guy he works with yesterday lunchtime about 'looking after his family' etc - which might explain why he was so defensive when I phoned up to talk about my hospital appointment and to insist on being contactable.

And thanks for your comments - always nice to vent on MN and get some sympathy!