Please someone tell me I need to get a grip...

[chatenoire]

Here I am on the verge of tears, because I feel like at any given moment I'll end up with no job. I feel too overwhelmed to look for another job. I'm feeling stressed I will annoy my DH as I only talk about how much I hate my job. This is only my sixth week, but I think I take one step forward and 10 backwards every single day.

But I do need someone to just slap me and put some sense into me. I feel more lost every day that passes.

So why are you feeling overwhelmed?

That's the point needs addressing.

Forget annoying DH, that's consequences, deal with cause first.

If you hate the job, then all your energy needs to shift from "hating the job" to "finding a new one". It's amazing how much energy hate takes....

Take a day off. Have a lie in, leisurely breakfast, then spend the rest of your morning redoing your cv and applying for other work.

No job should reduce you to the point of tears.

Six weeks is early days OP. I felt stressed and overwhelmed for the first three months of mine. Now I love it.

I'm the main breadwinner.. so we really can't lose my income or go through a period of time with no income from me. When you add my bonus I make 3x as much as DH.

The other reason is that I have 20 blockers in my job and no interna buy in.

Plus, it has been acknowledged that the reason why I was hired no longer applies. However, according to my manager because I saw a need that I could fill (beyond what I was hired for) I should be able to focus on that - and keep my job.

So, those 20 blockers, I'm presuming you have detailed them, documented them including the potential impacts and they are being managed as RISKS? because if not, get it done, get the RAID management in place so it's not your blocker, that they are accepted and being tracked by the business. These aren't your issues; you're simply impacted by them.

As a side note, your CV is relatively up to date, you've only been in post a few weeks. Get on LinkedIn put yourself as OPEN TO WORK, that way you'll get people approaching you. Sign up to some job websites, Reed, Total, Jobserve. Your CV is up to date so it won't take long. Then read the alerts daily to see if you can apply for anything. Once you do the leg work, it's only a small amount of effort in a daily basis until it comes to interview time.

Thank you! I think I'll use that to get it documented. I actually have a PM assigned to me, and we're going to work on my "island" as a project charter. I'm a programme manager.

Those are really good pointers

id also be detailing the "no internal buy-in" as a Risk, after all it is a risk, its a risk that has an impact - if you have no buy-in you have no support, if you have no support you have none of their resource or their effort, they wont prioritise your ask. Buy-in is hugely important.

These are not your issues to solve - you need to make sure the people who can solve them (the higher ups) are aware of them and making sure they get resolved. Your job is to make these issues visible, make sure they are tracked, make sure any mitigating actions are completed.

Yes, I even took a screenshot of one of the conversations because I just couldn't take it any more. My manager took over that conversation as it was just driving me mad.

No matter what issues get raised to you - think of how you can get them in front of the right people who can solve or have an impact on them. Its highly likely that any of your issues that are giving you stress can be solved or impacted by you.