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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it stranger she offered me her seat?

41 replies

wenotlikeus · 13/05/2024 22:16

I met up with two friends at the weekend, we don’t live close and we all stayed over at one their houses.

In the morning I came downstairs and both friends and my friends boyfriend (they live together) were sat in the living room chatting. The only spare seat was next to her boyfriend and she instantly said “would you like to sit here” offering her seat.

Was this odd?

OP posts:
Itchen · 13/05/2024 22:19

No.

YorkNew · 13/05/2024 22:19

No it was a nice thing to do as a host.

ErrolTheDragon · 13/05/2024 22:19

No, sounds like basic good manners from a host.

DementedPanda · 13/05/2024 22:20

No, host was being kind offering you a seat

Noname1000 · 13/05/2024 22:20

Not strange, no.

WimseyofBalliol · 13/05/2024 22:22

Not in the least. Do you not offer guests a seat as a matter of course?

DementedPanda · 13/05/2024 22:22

Oh hang on.... there was a spare seat next to your boyfriend and she offered her seat instead?

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 13/05/2024 22:24

if that was me, we'd move seats so my friend sat next to me and not my OH as IMO it would make both of them uncomfortable

Arlanymor · 13/05/2024 22:26

No, it’s pretty much an automatic reaction - guest needs a seat, so you spring up and offer yours. It’s manners isn’t it?

I imagine if you then sat down she would take the seat next to her boyfriend? It’s about making you feel comfortable.

meganorks · 13/05/2024 22:29

So you mean there was a free seat next to her boyfriend, but she got up and offered you hers instead? I don't find that strange at all to be honest. I do similar in my home if the spare seat is on the sofa next to my DH I might get up and sit next to him so a friend can sit on the other seat.

Original poster
wenotlikeus · 13/05/2024 22:29

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 13/05/2024 22:24

if that was me, we'd move seats so my friend sat next to me and not my OH as IMO it would make both of them uncomfortable

Why would it be uncomfortable?

I’d find it more uncomfortable to make it obvious I didn’t want to sit next to him if I said yes (not that I didn’t want to sit next to him, I couldn’t have cared less)

OP posts:
maudelovesharold · 13/05/2024 22:30

No, it’s pretty much an automatic reaction - guest needs a seat, so you spring up and offer yours. It’s manners isn’t it?

But there was a seat next to the friend’s b/f. I think the op’s querying why the friend didn’t just let her sit there.

Original poster
wenotlikeus · 13/05/2024 22:30

WimseyofBalliol · 13/05/2024 22:22

Not in the least. Do you not offer guests a seat as a matter of course?

Why would you offer a seat when there’s one already available?

OP posts:
GRex · 13/05/2024 22:32

Just checking in to get the explanation later about why OP's a bit funny about the boyfriend.

YorkNew · 13/05/2024 22:35

OP are you an over thinker?

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 13/05/2024 22:35

wenotlikeus · 13/05/2024 22:29

Why would it be uncomfortable?

I’d find it more uncomfortable to make it obvious I didn’t want to sit next to him if I said yes (not that I didn’t want to sit next to him, I couldn’t have cared less)

Show quote history

Just shows you are different to me as that is how I would act

Ginkypig · 13/05/2024 22:40

Lots of people have told you they would do the same thing but you still seem to think it was odd.

it sounds like you think she didn’t want you next to her partner because she didn’t trust one of either you or him to be close together.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 13/05/2024 22:41

Absolutely sickening. She's sounds like a pervert.

steff13 · 13/05/2024 22:56

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 13/05/2024 22:41

Absolutely sickening. She's sounds like a pervert.

Maybe OP's a pervert and that's why the boyfriend didn't want to sit next to her. 😉

Original poster
wenotlikeus · 13/05/2024 23:24

Ginkypig · 13/05/2024 22:40

Lots of people have told you they would do the same thing but you still seem to think it was odd.

it sounds like you think she didn’t want you next to her partner because she didn’t trust one of either you or him to be close together.

Doubtful. I couldn’t be less interested in him in that way and although I can’t speak for him I’m pretty certain he feels the exact same way about me.

OP posts:
Original poster
wenotlikeus · 13/05/2024 23:25

steff13 · 13/05/2024 22:56

Maybe OP's a pervert and that's why the boyfriend didn't want to sit next to her. 😉

Show quote history

What a lovely thing to accuse someone of being.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 13/05/2024 23:27

You haven't explained why you think it's odd. 97% of responses so far think it's a perfectly normal thing to do, so why do you think differently?

MBappse · 13/05/2024 23:28

Depends on type of chair... a small sofa where each side ends up sinking towards the other is uncomfortable for some people, hence the host offering you a better, in her view more comfortable all round, chair for you

BadLad · 13/05/2024 23:37

steff13 · 13/05/2024 22:56

Maybe OP's a pervert and that's why the boyfriend didn't want to sit next to her. 😉

Show quote history

Lynn, these are sex people.

MoonKiss · 13/05/2024 23:45

How well do you know him? It’s a bit odd if you’ve met him loads of times . If you’ve barely met I can understand her logic more.