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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Want a holiday but 16 year old can’t get leave

322 replies

Irishmama100 · 13/05/2024 20:21

So my 16 year old has a retail job, 8 hour contract and has been refused leave for when we went to go on our summer holiday. Can’t leave them at home on their for 11 nights

1)I am unreasonable - I should just scrap the idea and no one in the family gets a holiday.
2) I am not being unreasonable - I Should just book it anyway and they can quit and get another job

OP posts:
Arconialiving · 16/05/2024 22:05

MsCheeryble · 14/05/2024 07:55

You've got three choices:

  1. You go on holiday without the 16 year old.
  2. You go on holiday at a different time with the 16 year old and suck up the extra cost.
  3. Your child tells their employer that they will be leaving if they can't get leave, and puts their notice in. Then they work with you till they can get one of the many jobs going in retail, hospitality etc.

You don't seem to want any of those, so you need to sit down with your child and decide which one is the least worst option. Personally, I'd go for no. 3 every time.

Me too!

Harry12345 · 16/05/2024 22:18

I’ve got a strong work ethic but in this scenario definitely quit and enjoy family time, they can get another job,

acrossthebeach · 16/05/2024 22:25

Honestly, if you can give them a job yourself I wouldn't think twice about quitting and going on the holiday.

They'll still have a few months of this job on their cv, and the job in the family business can also go on the cv, nobody will know who they were working for.

Vonesk · 17/05/2024 00:28

16 year olds are as tall as you but are vulnerable to abuse when away from parents. Vulnerable from all sorts of things. I remember being that 16 year old , being vulnerable, alone . I got so scared it affected me for years afterwards . I had gone out alone and was walking along a long lane back home, late, I heard footsteps behind me. I couldn't describe the fear.

Wishingitwaswinter · 17/05/2024 07:17

Think you need to plan better. All retail companies are like this and I book all my dates off with over a year's advance. Your daughter is young and may not realise that other people do this and maybe too many people are off for then to allow her to be off too.
However. I have a mindset that family and memories are way more important than a 8 hour job. She's 16....most people don't even have jobs and are in school. There's plenty other jobs. But not sure why you think you're at the end of the road with holidays as I'm 40 and my parents still come along on our holidays. You either like the place and people's company or you don't, tho I do holiday more than once a year.

AngelinaFibres · 17/05/2024 07:22

Smartiepants79 · 13/05/2024 20:23

How easy would another job be?
It seems a bit ridiculous that they can’t do without the 16 year old on an 8 hour contract for one week.
I wouldn’t normally advocate such things but I’d be calling my child in sick for that week and tell them not to brag about their holiday when they get back.

Won't it be a give- away that the child is looking happy, rested and sporting a fabulously sun-kissed tan . That doesn't say poorly for a week with COVID

Ballygowenwater · 17/05/2024 07:30

The lesson I would be teaching my teen, after years of working and being disrespected is that if a company takes the piss and refuses basic, fair requests then spend your time working elsewhere, somewhere that respects you.

Hesma · 17/05/2024 07:36

Sadly that sounds like poor planning on your part. Everyone who is child free and all those with post exam kids want to holiday every summer before school break up. How did you not prepare for that?

Smartiepants79 · 17/05/2024 07:43

AngelinaFibres · 17/05/2024 07:22

Won't it be a give- away that the child is looking happy, rested and sporting a fabulously sun-kissed tan . That doesn't say poorly for a week with COVID

Well I wouldn’t be saying they had covid! Maybe just a tummy bug! I thought it was only going to be 1 day missed? Forgive me if I’m wrong.

poppymango · 17/05/2024 07:59

Tell her to quit! It's hardly going to make or break her career options, and family holidays are precious. Her employer sounds like an arse anyway.

Janjk · 17/05/2024 08:35

Ballygowenwater · 17/05/2024 07:30

The lesson I would be teaching my teen, after years of working and being disrespected is that if a company takes the piss and refuses basic, fair requests then spend your time working elsewhere, somewhere that respects you.

That really isn't how it works in retail. Leave has to be managed carefully to ensure staff cover and summer holiday weeks are highly sought after. It isn't piss poor management at all. That being said if I was the teenager and had the option to work in mum's business so I could have the holiday I'd do it. But only he/she can decide.

CleaningAngel · 17/05/2024 08:37

Eggmoobean · 13/05/2024 20:27

Quit. It’s nonsense. They are being ridiculous to not approve leave for 8. Hours.

Exactly just been awkward , can't be a very well run company if the whole thing is gonna collapse because a 16 year old isn't there for 8 hrs!!
They should of said holiday booked before she started , they have to honour pre booked holidays

rookiemere · 17/05/2024 08:46

The shop probably has to have a hardline initial stance, otherwise they would have droves of staff cancelling at short notice. I don't think this suggests poor or draconian management, the local manager probably has little discretion as well.

A few people have suggested a carefully worded notice letter should do the trick " Unfortunately I will need to give notice as I cannot change the dates of the holiday and you are unable to give me leave." I reckon they will either give them the leave - as the manager has something to show about risk of leaving,or reemploy once they come back from holidays if they still need staff.

Samlewis96 · 17/05/2024 09:03

Wishingitwaswinter · 17/05/2024 07:17

Think you need to plan better. All retail companies are like this and I book all my dates off with over a year's advance. Your daughter is young and may not realise that other people do this and maybe too many people are off for then to allow her to be off too.
However. I have a mindset that family and memories are way more important than a 8 hour job. She's 16....most people don't even have jobs and are in school. There's plenty other jobs. But not sure why you think you're at the end of the road with holidays as I'm 40 and my parents still come along on our holidays. You either like the place and people's company or you don't, tho I do holiday more than once a year.

The kids hasn't worked there a year though to book time off so far in advance.

Ellie1015 · 17/05/2024 09:28

Very naive of employer to refuse to cover 8 hours when 16 year old likely to work extra hours to cover others leave during summer.

Unless i had concerns about dd's work ethic (which is not the case if working already) I would encourage them to quit. No way would i miss out on family holiday for 8 hour shift. It is a good lesson on what happens when you don't show commen sense and flexibility to employees.

Every chance when notice handed in leave is granted.

Kazzybingbong · 17/05/2024 09:29

SummerFeverVenice · 13/05/2024 20:26

I can’t vote, as it isn’t your decision. It’s up to the 16yo if they want a gap in their CV and to have to explain they quit their prior job because they wanted to go on holiday.

If your 16yo is going to Uni or college for technical qualifications, it’s not a big deal, but if they are planning on going straight into FT work at 18, it might mean more to them for their future prospects.

Also, has your 16yo asked when they could take leave? So you could see if you can book then instead of when you want to?

Edited

Don’t be so dramatic! I walked in and out of jobs and was unemployed for years before I went to uni. I qualified and became a teacher when I was 29. At no point did anyone ever ask why I wasn’t working when I was 16, or any age for that matter.

HouseofPies · 17/05/2024 09:37

I’m in Ireland and there’s masses of work opportunities for youngsters in retail and hospitality in the tourist areas. If you’re living in Ireland, then it’s a no brainer. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Engaea · 17/05/2024 09:37

"A gap in their CV" at 16 😂

poppymango · 17/05/2024 09:42

Engaea · 17/05/2024 09:37

"A gap in their CV" at 16 😂

Exactly!!

And anyway, any gap in your CV before the age of about 22 can be explained by you saying you went travelling (true in this case!)

Everyone will go... oh ok, yeah, fair enough.

Realistically you probably only have a few family holidays left before she wants to start going away with her mates instead, and then after that life gets in the way. They are precious.

WoshPank · 17/05/2024 09:42

Engaea · 17/05/2024 09:37

"A gap in their CV" at 16 😂

I know, just batshit!

A surprising number of MNers get weird about teenagers and weekend jobs though. Any thread like this will always have someone talking about careers, entitlement and whatnot.

Katbum · 17/05/2024 09:51

Ring in sick or quit a fortnight before you go. The store is being ridiculous. But my experience as a young person working in those kind of jobs was that managers love lording it over teenagers by refusing leave, shift swaps and just generally being power hungry losers. But they have no power, so don’t worry about it.

Jc2001 · 17/05/2024 09:57

SummerFeverVenice · 13/05/2024 20:26

I can’t vote, as it isn’t your decision. It’s up to the 16yo if they want a gap in their CV and to have to explain they quit their prior job because they wanted to go on holiday.

If your 16yo is going to Uni or college for technical qualifications, it’s not a big deal, but if they are planning on going straight into FT work at 18, it might mean more to them for their future prospects.

Also, has your 16yo asked when they could take leave? So you could see if you can book then instead of when you want to?

Edited

That's hilarious. You know nothing about the world of work if you think employees are going to question a 2 week gap in their CV at 16 years old, even a year or so at that age you can just say they were traveling. People do all sorts at that age.

No wonder kids feel under so much pressure if they think they're going to wreck their entire future by going on holiday.

Bournetilly · 17/05/2024 09:58

You are being ridiculous. Of course you wouldn’t quit your job if they denied leave because you are an adult, this is a 16 year old who works 8 hours a week.

Also ridiculous to not let them work for the family business, at that age it’s just about getting some extra money to spend. Working for family 1 day per week isn’t going to be seen badly and working their current job won’t have an impact on their career (unless it’s something they want to do long term which it doesn’t sound like).

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 17/05/2024 10:00

Just go. She should say to them that her parents have to leave the country and she can’t get to work otherwise but she is happy to take unpaid leave. Do they have a policy for unpaid leave? My mum would have been ringing the HR person up raging so well done you letting her deal with it 😂

tolerable · 17/05/2024 10:01

if 16 yr old CHOOSES keep job-let em
if stick job/send postcard-let em