To feel fed up at being constantly expected to be ‘community minded’

[YellowFlagIris2024]

I have name changed for this.
I’m well aware of and very conscious that we are privileged - but we do, and always have, given charitably to the local community. I also do a lot of hands on background work to help local groups, and always make sure to not take the credit, although what I do keeps the plates spinning.
Over the past year, we’ve donated about £3k cash in addition to my unpaid professional help. I’m a doer.

But I am so fed up. Its the constant asks for cash, despite my politely saying that we are giving/have given elsewhere. And the constant requests to use our land for community events - without any offer of a fee (no matter how tokenal) or indeed any suggestion of PLI.

I’d like to think that I’m a charitable person by nature, but I’m burnt out by the constant asks and sense of entitlement that I should keep on giving. There’s rarely a thank you, just a tacit unspoken understanding that I should put up with not very nice behaviour because we are well off in comparison to others.

It’s all making me want to pull up the drawbridge and not be so helpful any more.

keen to hear anyone who has had this experience.
thank you!

Only you can decide your capacity for charitable action, you need to make a decision what your personal capacity is (and it may ebb and change), put in place the boundary and you enforce it by refusing anything outside. of your boundary. Be choosy, what you want to devote your time and effort too.

Don't feel bad saying no. No is a complete sentence, it's not your responsibility to keep the community afloat.

Slight tangent, but I see this with women who have really long hair (myself included) online and in real life. 'Oh, why don't you donate it?' Because it's my hair and I don't want to? Why don't you grow yours and donate it? (Never see/hear this with long haired blokes though. )