Fed up with life?

[strangeoldworld]

Does anyone else ever feel utterly bored with life and the same old crap every day?
I have taken anti depressants for years (not something I ever wanted to do) and have slowly started to wean myself off them. I guess this must be majorly contributing to how I feel atm. I was on 100mg of sertraline and am now on a third of a tablet.

I just feel like every day is the same. Work stresses me out a lot and I am constantly putting myself down. I guess my head is just not wired properly. I've never had much confidence and stupid little things get me down

My friend told me yesterday she had our other friend over on the weekend but never invited me and it's upset me a little. Mainly because I always felt left out in school and I think those feelings have fed into my adult life. I have always felt like the odd one out because I can be quiet/reserved. I sometimes feel like people are always going to let me down and I will never understand them. The same friend has been messaging me constantly lately because our other friend has been absent. I just feel like people use you for their convenience half the time
I have always found you have to make more effort than someone who is extroverted. I wish I was more outgoing but I'm 41 now so I don't think I ever will be. Not that I'm bashing people who are introvert. It's just my experience and I'm fed up with feeling like the odd one out. Perhaps I care too much what people think

I have many hobbies in my life, I volunteer, keep fit, don't drink and book trips away constantly. I have a partner who I live with but I'm still fed up with everything

I know it sounds awful but I don't see the point of living half the time. These are just thoughts btw but I just find life to be constant stress, being let down by people, battling with my mind on a daily basis and not much in the way of fun
I guess life isn't always fun and excitement and I am just in a bad headspace

Can anyone else relate to being bored of the humdrum of life?

I couldn't agree more, I can't wait til it's all over, and wish I'd never been brought here in the first place. I see life as more of a curse, so many tragic horrific things happening to people. I don't enjoy anything and wouldn't miss a thing if I popped off tomorrow. Why does it have to be seen as a mental illness? Why is enjoying existence the default and if you don't there's something wrong with you?

What I find interesting about this is that if you look at it objectively it’s both true that there’s plenty of joy in life and that there’s so much pain that existence is joyless. The amateur psychologist in me wonders if it’s personality more than anything - ie something you can’t ‘fix’ rather than being a problem to fix.

i have to say, in pretty relieved to hear that you don’t

i love my life 🤷

I feel the same OP.

Totally get you OP. I feel the same. I have a decent size house and income. DH. Family. Friends. Lots going on generally from running the house/DC/FT job etc. But I'm bored. So v bored. I don't know what I want to happen/ do to solve the issue. I just don't know what the answer is.

House needs a fair about of cosmetic work. There is lots I want to change eg flooring but cost too much
Don't enjoy going out to museums/art/galleries/theatre/clubbing/cities.
Don't read, no interest. Occasionally a really good book will grip me and I'll binge read. But that's v rare
I just seem to do all the drudgery - clean, tidy, food shop, laundry, work FT, plan, manage finances DAY IN & DAY OUT

have you ever been happy @Littlewhitefluffyclouds ?

if so, what were you doing? what part of your life?

I've had anhedonia pretty much all my life. Even as a child I was bored out my mind, it definitely doesn't help being an introvert because nearly everything others enjoy about life basically revolves around social stuff. It's just draining to me and like a chore. I do need some social interaction but I suppose I mainly keep it to discussions like this online which is low effort in comparison.

Do the happy endorphins really override all the horrible shit? Fascinating if so, I don't think I'll ever get to find out unfortunately.

I could have written this too!
Similar age. Similar personality.
To me, depression is a permanent , if mild, state which I live with and have done for many years. Happiness is in small fleeting moments. Life is ok , but monotonous and tiring. Other people are a lot of hassle.
The difference is I see no reason to come off my ADS. They keep me on a more even keel.
It's a lovely time of year at the moment. Do you go outside much? I know it sounds ridiculous but a walk in nature everyday really helps my mental health.

Yes so I think for some of us they do. I’m happy pretty much 98% of the time really. I don’t really mind the shit bits - the daily drudge I guess - because it’s interspersed with lots of lovely things. I am an extrovert, but not in a centre of attention way; I just find being around other people energising. There are lots of things that trigger endorphins: exercise, good music, a great coffee, spending time with my kids… I could go on, and I’m not saying it in a ‘oh everyone should feel the same’ way - I’m just showing the frequency of ‘happy’ feelings on a day to day basis really.

@Aroundthefur I'm always looking for other perspectives and trying to understand how others feel so thank you! I envy extroverts tbh, it's really hard not being one. I was desperate to be popular as a kid but still I couldn't be outgoing. I'd manage it for about a week (as well as putting my hand up in class) and then slip back into my old habits of being withdrawn and reclusive. I think my life would be completely different if I was an extrovert. I assume they are usually happy, unless they are the type that can never get enough attention.

*I should probably add that I'm sure there are many very happy introverts too and it's probably not the sole cause of my issues.

I feel you OP. I’ve felt similarly most of my life except for a few years here and there, I’m 53. Life has really been a slog the last dozen years or so and now I’m aging and getting more tired. I’m also very introverted and sometimes wish I was extroverted cause I’ve never seen many introverts that lack energy and drive, and aren’t bothered by people while most people usually end up irritating me 😂

Yes I can relate. Much of life is very same, same, same - chores, errands, boring stuff with just little bits of happiness here and there.

I too have life long depression caused by abusive childhood. Like you I wish I could be off the tablets as they give me weird dreams. However I have decided that the benefit of them is greater than the disadvantages so sticking with them just now.

My biggest joy is my funny wee dog who is always so happy and up for a play or a good time. He gives me a purpose/routine and cheers me up. It's not perfect or anything and I do get fed up with constant walks, vet bills etc but he is definately the bright spark of my life. Would a fluffy cat or dog help? A dog especially is very reliable and constant and always 'there' which sounds like it would help you

However I have to say for me whilst I am terrified of having a long, drawn out ill old age, the idea of being actually dead is quite comforting. No more worries, anxiety or sadness.

a number of you don’t seem to have children?

@bbqsalt I think I used to be happy.

There never seemed to be as many home admin/chores/things to do/sort as there are nowadays. Even when my DC were little there was never this much to do. I'm constantly drowning in it all. DH is oblivious to it, even when I point it all out, and is quick to dismiss it all.

I used to love Friday nights out out with friends. Getting dressed up etc. Not necessarily clubbing but noisy/busy bars with dance music. Now I feel fatter & old and dread the loud bars, crowds and music. But some of my friends still love it and I feel an expectation to go along as we can't only do the things I like (quieter bars with a good meal and a gossip).

Some family have passed and the family group has got smaller and drifted. It's not the same anymore. We are not close, despite all living close to each other. I miss those days. We will never be close again. Things like family BBQs have long gone and will never return. We are at the point now where we just drop a birthday card with a gift card through the letter box or leave an Easter egg for the DC on the door step. I don't know why we bother doing the gifts cards or Easter eggs tbh. I want to stop all that and just give a token birthday card, but I think that would be the final divide.

I feel fatter and old. Gone are the lovely clothes I once wore. I v rarely buy new things as they never fit/look right/I never see anything I like these days/everything makes me look huge. I'm still wanting to buy Jane Norman, Bay Trading etc ! I am in my 50s ! I could always find something I liked/fitted in these shops.

Everything costs money, so much money. Money flies out of the door quicker than I (we) can earn it. I have to work overtime every month just to make up our shortfalls. I don't remember having to work more hours in the past or having any shortfalls or spending so much money. We own nothing fancy. We don't eat out that much. I don't know where it all goes. Everything just costs these days.

@bbqsalt apologies, I didn't answer your Q in full.

I was happy when I was 17. I was having a blast of a time going out loads, carefree, no responsibilities, no pressures. It felt like an endless summer that year. I didn't work. I had no car. There were no mobile phones. I had v little money & lived at home. But I had a total blast.

I don't necessarily want to do the whole going-out-loads thing now, but I want to feel like I did that year. I long to feel that way again.

I think you need a goal? Something to aim for .....

I feel for you, nearly 62, I have mid stage Parkinson’s, had it 7 years, think I’m depressed, side effect, yes had hormonal depression too.
Know I need antidepressants
What I can’t get over is when/ why/ how my symptoms will change, quite a bit worse since Christmas.
No one can answer me those questions, and I hate not knowing .
live on my own with cat, some of us, tho naturally outgoing struggle with life

Could this be in a very general sense the broad brush difference between having depression and not having depression?

I can't relate to this post either - sure life can be very hard (I had a terrible, depressing upbringing for example that made me physically ill because it was so bad) but there are endless incredible things about life too that always blow me away. I love life and cherish it. But I also know that I'm very lucky to be a natural optimist and generally positive person which I don't take for granted. I'm not an extrovert btw although I have a very customer facing job. I enjoy company but need decent time to recharge from that and could easily disappear to a log cabin alone for a few weeks and not feel one second of loneliness.

OP maybe you are feeling some significant effects of lowering the meds? I hope it gets better for you.

I feel you OP. I was a very happy child but then everything went quite dark in my teens. No particular reason, mental health problems surely. I have been on venlafaxine for over 20 years. What makes me happy are being around children because they live in the moment. I am also a natural nurturer being the older sibling so having children did help me. It also got me outside my head as the focus on their need was all that mattered and still is. Some people tell me I should be more selfish but when I take care of others it's the only moment I feel good about myself so ... When the children won't need me anymore (eldest autistic) I will work with other children/teens since this is something I am good at and which makes me happy. So..I think you need to find what makes you "get out of yourself" OP and maybe you will need those antidepressants in order to do so. Talk to your GP. One step at a time. Wish you the very best.

From what you wrote alot of stress from your job is probably a big factor, is this not something you can focus on changing. Why syay in a stressful job if you don't have to and ifms it worth your health?

Then you say you always out yourself down? Why? Your worrying over things that haven't even happened yet e.g. you sya you worry people will let you down.

You have to accept that it could happen and just stop worrtong about it and if they do well thays just a part of life, deal with it when it happens.

You say you feel like people use people, well to be honest sometimes there is an element of that im anything people do. Not everyone is 100% selfless. There are some ppl who are obviously using people.

You have all these hobbies and a partner sound like a full life yet you focus on why your friend didn't invite you, could be perfectly okay reasons why she didn't.

Maybe try mindfulness and shifting your focus to be more positive about yourself and the things your doing