Are holidays a flex now ?

[iloveshetlandponies]

I've noticed among most people I know both irl and on Facebook and work clients etc, it's now the normal to have like 3 holidays a year . And I always goes on fb / insta Some people I know have already been away both feb half term and Easter. It's abroad as well, not just UK. And when it is the UK it's always the more brag worthy locations like posh parts of Cornwall, and north Devon etc and in swanky accommodation

And I think it is more since covid - unless it was just my social circle it seemed that most people went once a year if that

I think social media plays a part as well , then others can see how well they're doing when they're tagging themselves at their 3rd fancy exotic location this year

I dunno maybe holiday bragging has always been a thing and I've not noticed. I'm guilty of it too tbh, I'm lucky enough to have been to some cool places in the last year or two and I've posted online not Gona lie 🫣

As pp have said they have always been a flex. I feel I’m doing well this year. A week in Sicily, 4 nights in the Lake District, a long weekend in Amsterdam and 4 nights at Euro Disney…apart from all the people I know have started going to Mauritius, Thailand, St Lucia, The Maldives…nobody seems to do a week in Spain anymore!

Google is usually available if mumsnet is...

noun, flex
"INFORMAL•US
a boastful statement or display.
"ridiculous flexes of exorbitant wealth"

The last holiday we had was Disneyland Paris before that we hadn't been abroad in 7 years. A culmination of things such as buying a house, 2 kids in close succession meant it just wasn't a justifiable expense. Instead we did long trips in the UK. This year we are going to Morocco for a week and a few UK breaks and are now a family with 3 kids. We won't go abroad every year as some years there will be house improvements that take priority but I'd like to go every couple of years at least. We live pretty simply otherwise so saving for holidays is important to me.

It is helpful though to have the definition on the post so 1000 others don't need to Google.

Course. It always has been. That's why you post yours too.

One thing I’d say is the that tv, news and general media have done a very good job of convincing everyone that everyoneis poor and skint with COL crisis, when that’s not the case

This. Of course some people will be, but many aren't, holidays don't have to be that expensive, and a lot of people who say they 'can't afford holidays' will be spending money elsewhere that could pay for a holiday.

For example, we go away 3-4 times a year but we spend almost nothing on other things that a lot of people spend a lot of money on like home decoration, beauty and grooming, lunches, coffee, pubs, clubs and cocktails, mobile phones and technology, clothes. Our cars are a few years old, cheap to run and bought outright.

People can spend hundreds, if not over £1k pm on all that sort of stuff and it's somethat that, beyond basic and functional, we're really not interested in so don't spend on. Which frees up money for holidays.

"I go away as much as I can.
But I have heard people saying this before that they prioritise holidays before things. Except it is not true. Hardly anyone prioritises things. They prioritise a mortgage, food, and living."

Wtf are you on about? Of course I prioritise holidays, they are very high on my list of priorities.

As for booking well in advance, some do I'm sure but I keep costs low by booking as soon as flights become available with budget airlines. That may be a year in advance or 5 months in advance. I don't use travel agents.

I also never get into debt and my credit card balance is paid monthly. The simple fact is that we can afford to go on holiday so we do!

We have been in our house 25 years, it was new when we bought it.
The amount of kitchens and bathrooms we have seen go from neighbouring houses in the meantime, we must have one of the few originals left. We prioritise other things.

Unless people are only just earning the essentials, of course they prioritise their discretionary spending.

Good points.

The COL crisis hasn't affected everyone equally, or even at all. And some of those who are affected do still have enough disposable income that they can go away if they prioritise. Especially as there are lots of ways to make holidays cheaper and you don't necessarily clock them all.

Yes! This

It's often really exotic show offy places and I'm sure some people pick them deliberately for the brag factor

Yup, the photos of me and the DC gurning in front of the Eiffel Tower/ Colosseum don't show that we stayed in very basic accommodation outside Paris and Rome and our journeys in by public transport took hours.

Just me but never heard the expression a flex. I use the word to mean flexible, adaptable, as in flex your hours

Think of bodybuilders flexing to show off their muscles. It comes from that.

Sorry?

I'm always amused at the idea that people shouldn't ever share nice things on their social media. People have always chatted to each other about holidays, it's completely normal and it always has been. Pre social media, it was the norm to send postcards to friends and family. Posting about a holiday on Facebook is no different.

People aren't going on three or four holidays a year just as 'a flex'. They're going on three or four holidays because a) it's enjoyable and b) they can. Nobody chooses their holiday 'for the brag factor'. They choose it because it's a holiday they can afford and will enjoy. Nobody thinks 'Well, ideally I'd like to spend a week just chilling with the kids in our camper van, but that won't look good on Facebook so we'd best book two weeks all-inclusive in a five-star resort in the Maldives.'

I have about 4 holidays a year but I don't post any of them on social media as that's not my real life

But... it is your real life. It's a thing that you do, quite often. If you mean 'It's not what I do every day' then of course it isn't, but it's still a real thing that you are doing and it's still a part of your life.

People can't win on Mumsnet. If they have social media and post about boring stuff like taking their kid to the park, they get slaughtered for being boring and over-sharing and get told that 'no-one cares' and sneered at. If they post about exceptional stuff like a holiday, they get slaughtered for boasting and not painting a realistic picture of their life.

I sometimes think that most of Mumsnet really doesn't understand what the actual purpose of social media is, and I wonder why so many Mumsnetters have it when they believe its fundamental purpose, which is to share stuff about your life with your friends, is wrong.

It is a sad indictment of society these days that many people are more bothered about how others perceive them than actually enjoying their lives.

I saw a really depressing documentary where a range of people were given free luxury holidays. They were split into 3 groups when they arrived at the airport. One group could post freely about their trip on social media, one could only post when they got back home and the final group weren’t allowed to post at all.

The first group said they loved their holiday. The second group were permanently agitated and kept moaning at the producers to relax the rules. The 3rd group said if they’d have known the rules up front they’d never have gone on the show. They said they couldn’t see the point of going if they couldn’t tell everyone else about how amazing it was.

So many people do not appear to appreciate the freedom to have once you realise that nobody else really cares what you do.

I’ve travelled all over the world and have never so much as posted a single photo anywhere. I doubt my wider family and friends even know where I’ve been most of the time. It’s great not feeling an obligation to gain approval from others.

I don’t think it’s anything new, my DC are adults now, when they were at school we’d go away for four or five of the six school holidays. The rest of the time we’d be at theme parks, swimming, bowling, cinema, seeing friends.
Now we go on holiday 8 times per year.
Some of my friends are similar to me (probably 5 or 6 trips) and some haven’t been away since before Covid.
Facebrag is what it is, I’d love to have DGC and feel a pang of jealousy when I see DGC posts.

This is an odd take.

Of course people prioritise things. Mortgage and living expenses obviously come first. But after that, people decide what they want to do with any money that's left. That is prioritisation.

For example, we moved into our house seven years ago and we still haven't finished getting it sorted. Our living room needs completely renovating. for example. Needs a complete re-plaster, electrics sorting, new gas fire, the lot. If we didn't travel, we could have got that done in 2018/19, but we had a think and said 'Nah, let's go to Canada' instead and spent a fortnight on our dream holiday in the Rocky Mountains. We chose to make the holiday a priority because we wanted that more.

Oh my god 😄😄 I want to see this documentary

Personally, i feel it’s all down to priorities. We usually have 2 foreign holidays a year and a couple of weekends away in the uk. However this year, I’ll be having a third overseas holiday as I’m treating my Mum.
Going on holiday/seeing the world is something my partner and I enjoy, so once bills and savings go out of our accounts, we live modestly. We choose to save for big purchases and buy quality goods so they last longer, eat seasonal food, cooking from scratch and finally utilise charity shops or things like vinted or eBay for clothes etc. This then means that we generate more savings, so we can afford our holidays as that is what we enjoy. Although, not having children and not travelling in the school holidays helps.

I don't think this is anything new. Have you hit an age where your friends are more financially comfortable (usually when people hit 40s/50s) or just using social media more (perhaps because of COVID and seeing people f2f less, have moved away, etc.) or are empty nesters with more money/time to travel?

I've always travelled and I've always posted (some of) it on social media because my friends and family are all far away. I don't think this is anything new in my social circle. I definitely haven't seen where people are travelling change, other than maybe people are staying closer to home, more camping in the UK than holiday in Lanzarote.

We've always taken a few holidays a year. I don't mean 'big family holiday to Mauritius for two weeks' but camping in Cornwall, climbing in North Wales, a European weekend break here and there, though pre-kids, it would be longer and farther away. I expect it's more to do with the financial situation of your demographic and the time/flexibility they have for holidays than anything else.

I don't think it's anything to do with social media really, in fact, in my demographic, social media use is dying out a bit. Younger people (teens/20s/30s) seem to use it and our parents generation (60/70s/80s), but people I know in their 40s/50s, we were the original social media generation and people have gotten a bit bored about it now.

We prioritise them and have a set budget of £7000 a year (plus spending money) some years it means we do a 12 days away in summer plus a couple of 4 day city breaks - other years we have done a week plus maybe 3 city breaks- we don't have kids to pay for though-although have paid for our son a few times at new year to come with us(he's 26) - I think many families with kids wanting two weeksAI would spend close to that in summer holidays- and it's far easier if you have no kids around to go outside school holidays and get deals at way less.

This year as an example for 2 of us - all in 4 star hotels and including travel

Amsterdam for 4 days in March £1200
Majorca for a week in early June £1100
Greek island plus Athens at beginning and end in mid July- 12 days £2900
Berlin new year 5 days. £1700 (taking son)

It’s because life feels so crap for people they only feel happy when they are going on holiday.

some people buy new kitchens
some people buy flash cars
some people want to escape this shit hole.

Honestly they won’t be thinking of you when booking their holidays 😂😂

@mitogoshi I'm glad you asked because I had no idea either!

I’m a teacher and get jealous of my friends who can go for cheap holidays during term time, but then again I get the summer off. My husband and I earn about 65 grand pre tax a year overall, we can barely afford a holiday in the UK with a kid in childcare and mortgage etc- anyone else in the same boat like this on a similar wage or is it just me?