I’m a mess

[BananaShrimp1]

I posted already because I had another breakdown and I seem to be having meltdowns.
This was on Saturday night and I’ve felt ‘hungover’ since. I was busy all day yesterday and then I have work all week and I honestly feel like I can’t cope.

I nearly called in sick this morning because a day of doing nothing would feel like heaven and honestly feel it’s what I need
But I didn’t because I knew id just feel guilty all day.

I felt awful too because I woke my boyfriend up almost crying and saying I didn’t want to go to work.
I now feel guilty for always starting his day on a negative note and being a mess like this morning.
He says it’s ok but I am instead spending today beating myself up over it.

I just don’t know how to get into this never-ending loop and I feel like it never ends. I’m on the crisis team and am now awaiting assessment for ASD and ADHD but I’m struggling so much.
I wondered if anyone had any advice on how to cope and be kinder to myself

Can't find your other post sorry so don't know what may be behind this, but here are some things I've done when I'm struggling, which have helped for me:

• Rather than looking at a whole day which can seem overwhelming, taking things one hour at a time. "I will get to 8am and then I will sit down and take 5 minutes downtime just for me"; "I will get to 9am then have a cup of tea" etc. And just try to be calm for that one hour.
• Reward yourself for getting through a day. A little bit of really nice chocolate or an episode of something comforting like Friends.
• Avoid alcohol as it makes things worse the next day.
• Download an app for short meditations / calming exercises - can really help in the moment when you're feeling panicky. I would take headphones wherever I went and take five minutes out to listen to a calming exercise in the Ladies at work.
• Distract, distract, distract. When I would feel the repetitive or catastrophic thoughts starting, I would immediately turn my attention to something silly, light and fluffy such as watching a bit of a netflix comedy or funny youtube video on my phone; listening to a song I really liked, or going on a gossip forum. Just anything distracting for five inutes.
• Exercise helped me massively - walking or running with music.

Take care xx

I’m sorry you are struggling so much. You say you are on the crisis team- what kind of support can they offer you and have you had any help from your GP or MH carers?

You sound very overwhelmed and possibly quite unwell. That means that taking some time away from work is the sensible thing to do and nothing to feel guilty about. What sort of things help you feel calmer?

Lastly can you identify any triggers for this episode? If so can they be avoided in any way? You have issues with possible ASD and ADHD yet you have a job and an understanding boyfriend so you are doing really well. Time to be kind to yourself.

Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. What would you say to someone you know that was going through this? When you catch yourself in that loop of negative self-talk, try to step back a little and change the chat to something supportive and understanding.

My first advice would be to call in sick. You are clearly not well OP, and pressing on isn't going to change that. In fact it's likely to make it worse. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You can't help your mental health being poor at the moment, any more than you could help a physical ailment. The sensible thing is to look after yourself properly to help you get well. Call in sick, rest and relax. Eat good nourishing food, stay hydrated, and try to spend some time doing some excercise in the fresh air, or just sitting in it if that feels too much, as the sunlight is beneficial.