Need advice on ds making police report

[blueshoes]

Posting in AIBU for traffic. Particularly interested in people who know police procedure.

Ds 17 (year 12) was at a party last night and got hit on the head with a bottle by a boy 17 who used to bully him at school (boy since left that school). The boy came over and started having a go at ds and used a racist slur on him. Ds retaliated and boy (who was probably drunk) hit him on the head with a bottle and punched him.

Ds has signs of mild concussion. He lost sight temporarily, vomited had a headache and is now being monitored.

I would like ds to make a police report (Met) but ds does not want any repercussions for the boy because the boy is popular.

Is it possible for ds to make a police report, just for the record, but ask the police not to take action?

Appreciate any advice for this distressing situation.

I don't know if the Met are the same but in my force we would take positive action for an assault regardless. Once it's reported it's recorded as a crime so would have to be actioned.

Has he had treatment? If so the hospital may have a duty to report,

The police will ask for a statement which your son can choose not to provide. If the police take a report they could decide there might be a case that could get a conviction and they can choose to proceed and investigate even without his statement. They will ask why he doesn’t want to support a prosecution.

Yes, it is possible. We reported threats to my DS that involved a weapon. DS didn't want to pursue it, but we felt it needed to be recorded in case there was any repeat of it in future.

It turned out the local police (but not met) had this boy on their radar and they said it helps them to know what the boy is up to, even if we didn't want anything doing about it.

They were both 17 at the time.

Not long after the other boy turned 18 he was arrested for something else and went to prison. The police said at the time it was unusual for a first offence to merit a prison sentence, but the nature of the crime and his previous history made it a no brainer (my words, not theirs).

Dh will be taking ds to A&E as a precaution. Will find out then whether the hospital will be reporting. The fact that ds is on record as going to A&E is worth something, I guess, even if he did not go to the police.

Create, I am a bit worried that this is an actual assault involving a racist slur rather than a threat and the police might want to take action irrespective of ds' wishes per PoshUns and ItWorries.

Thanks for all the replies.

Ds retaliated

What did that involve? DS could also be charged if he was physical.

I understand ds reacted verbally and pushed the boy after the racist slur, which the boy knew would push ds' buttons because the boy used to bully ds at school. Then it became a scuffle.

Not saying ds is an angel. He has gone to A&E with dh so I will find out more when he gets back.

Once you report you have no control over what happens next.

Personally, I wouldn't.

Ah if it's a racially aggravated assault then police will likely press ahead with or without your son supporting a prosecution. It's a shame he won't pursue it as it's unacceptable and could have been far worse. I hope he's ok .

So you would be happy for your child to be attacked without any repercussions? That's highly unusual.

Definitely report. That's disgraceful behaviour.

@ThePoshUns thank you. Medically, ds seems ok, just bruises on his face, but with concussion you never know so we are checking it out. He is still feeling the emotional trauma from 2 years ago when he reported it to the school. The boy got him ostacised by his friendship group for being a 'snake'. It hurts me too to not pursue it because the racial slur is my race.

My ds does not want to have no friends again. I have to respect his wishes.

We probably won't make a police report since we cannot control what action, if any, the police will take.

I’d report via 101 and say you aren’t looking to press charges but would like the behaviour recorded in case of future concerns. They are highly unlikely to press charges without a statement from your son unless it was otherwise witnessed/recorded as it would just be your word against the boy’s and he may claim self defence or deny the whole thing. They may want to know why your son doesn’t want to press charges but can’t see they could do much else without it.

To be frank OP I think now is the time for tough love. If someone assaults you, you tell the police. Popularity doesn’t matter under circumstances really. You’re setting a bad example otherwise if you pander to his desire to appease his bully.

Also you’re really naive to think this incident alone would not cause people to turn against him. He essentially lost in a fight, his friends might be embarrassed of him and already it want to be his friend. It makes zero sense not to report to the police for fear of losing friends, when the friends aren’t necessarily going to stick around regardless. Where were his friends when he was getting battered and bullied?

The police can go ahead and press charges regardless of whether they have the victims' consent.

However, it could be tricky if your DS won't give evidence.

Good point that DS was threatened rather than physically hurt. But he did have some of his possessions taken and the other boy kept standing outside our house and sending messages to DS that he was going to stab DH and rape me. It was all a bit mental at the time. Good luck with whatever course you take.

I’m glad he’s gone to get checked out.

I would really hope he reports this bullying shitbag but you cannot force him and if he’s not comfortable doing it, then you can’t really do anything about it.

Is DS still in school/sixth form with this boy?

Ds came back from A&E. They do not think he has a concussion, so far so good.

The boy left to go to another Sixth Form. Therefore ds and him are no longer in the same school. But their friendship groups still cross at parties outside school. Because this boy is popular, he can tell people not to talk to ds, even ds' friends at school and those 'friends' will listen apparently. So ds does not want to make a fuss.

Ds has since made better friends in another school but he still has to go to his own school for the next 1.5 years, hence not wanting to be a Billy No Mates.

I don't want anything to distract ds from the A levels either.