We lost my dad 5 years ago to cancer. It was sudden and traumatic and we all miss him terribly.
Needless to say my mum feels his loss the most but in the years since he passed away she has drawn into herself and seems to have gotten worse not better. She drinks heavily (always has) but since dad died it's like she has the perfect excuse. And while dad could keep her drinking in check to an extent, she now has nobody to answer to and will drink anytime of the day.
She has withdrawn from me and my dc. We still see her but not much. She is always invited on family days out and holidays but either chooses not to come, comes and then makes a scene and leaves or comes and gets drunk making it uncomfortable for the rest of us. She doesn't drive to us anymore (no surprise there) so it's always me having to go to her.
She is still grieving, I understand that but her life and health is going down the pan and she doesn't seem to care. It hurts that she has no real interest in me and my dc, instead preferring to drink at home alone. She definitely has an alcohol problem but will absolutely not seek any sort of help or support. It's like this is all she wants her life to be now. It's like she resents being lonely but won't make any effort to change it.
She has lots of friends who rally round and try to get her out and about but it's the same story - either declines or goes but only if she can drink (ie she'd say no to a walk in the park but yes to a pub lunch that sort of thing).
I am at my wits end. Her mental and physical health is in tatters but she won't seek help and if I challenge her in any way it's the same answer - you don't know what it's like to lose your husband. As if me losing my dad means nothing. I miss him too but I have to keep going for my dc.
Is there anything I can do? At all?