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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being upset at my husbands reaction?

12 replies

madeincalifornia2022 · 12/05/2024 07:00

DH currently has his best friend staying with us (came to visit on holiday). We all went out last night for a few cocktails in town and got a Lyft (like Uber) back home. Lyft driver started missing turns and seemed really out of it - my husband made a joking comment to the driver who did not respond which was odd. We then got to the part of the route home which is a motorway, the driver crossed a lane and swerved sharply on the rocky verge before joining the road again. My DH asked the driver if he was ok and driver did not respond which was a huge red flag. I think he had fallen asleep at the wheel in hindsight.

I quietly asked my husband to change the destination in the Uber app (he booked the ride) to somewhere coming up close by on the route and told him we needed to get out of the car. My husband started bickering at me telling me I could simply tell the driver myself to pull over and was not going to change the destination. We were on a motorway so:

  1. Driver could not immediately pull over otherwise we would be on the side of the motorway with no walkable exit
  2. Driver was not speaking to us or replying to our prior questions
  3. Driver may not be familiar with the part of town where we live so could not just 'pull over'

Huband continued quietly bickering at me in front of his friend in the car, making out I was being dramatic when I was absolutely terrified. Bare in mind, we are still driving all over the place on the road. I ended up having to raise my voice to my husband to get him to change the destination in the app so the driver could finally take a turn off the motorway and we could get out. It felt so embarrassing to do this in front of his friend. The driver followed the new route, albeit swerving across a road again and I was terrified.

We finally get out of this crazy car and my husband is in a big strop with me, saying we were only three minutes away from home and that now we had to walk home. Husband's best friend seemed pretty chill and I think was glad to get out of the car. However husband continued to be off with me last night and seemed to want to paint me in a bad way in front of his friend.

I'm pretty devastated for the principal that I felt in danger/ saw all our lives in danger and it felt like my husband was more concerned about keeping face in front of a friend. It took him less than 3 seconds to put in a new address in the app.

My husbands now gone off on a road trip with his best friend for a few days and I have been left alone. Before he left this morning, he told me that he wanted to make sure I was ok, because he did not want to receive a long text from me later on...

This comment seemed so patronizing and rude to top the whole situation off. Was I wrong for reacting like that in the car? AIBU for being upset about this whole situation?

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 12/05/2024 07:05

Your husband is an idiot...

Bugger not looking chill in front of his friend.

This trip sounded alarmingly bad... I wouldn't have messes around changing app... I'd have just said.. "Please come off at next exit we need to stop..."

And if he didn't I'd be calling the police to say we aee in a cab in the motorway with driver incapable...

Shoxfordian · 12/05/2024 07:08

Does your husband usually minimise things when you're worried or unhappy? He acted really poorly here towards you

YouJustDoYou · 12/05/2024 07:08

Your husband is a fucking moron.

Marblessolveeverything · 12/05/2024 07:09

Why couldn't you make the change on the app or demand the driver pulled over?

Your husband isn't right but I don't understand why he had to sort versus you? I hope you reported the driver.

Is his comment about long texts accurate?

Meadowfinch · 12/05/2024 07:13

Your husband is an idiot but clearly didn't feel as at risk as you. And I guess he doesn't like walking, at least not last night. Being 'devastated' seems a bit over the top though.

I'd let it go. There's nothing to be gained by falling out now, and you have a few days peace to put it behind you.

But I'd insist on booking a proper licenced cab in future.

Ialwaystry · 12/05/2024 07:18

You should have took that drivers reg and called 999. That driver was either unwell or under the influence of something

madeincalifornia2022 · 12/05/2024 07:24

@Marblessolveeverything The Lyft taxi app is on my husbands phone. He booked the ride so I could not make any changes unless I had his phone, which was in my husband's pocket.

The driver was not responding to any of our previous questions and would clearly have heard I wanted to get out of the car. I felt like we were past this point, which is why I wanted to change the destination as a solution.

OP posts:
Mannyshy · 12/05/2024 08:18

Is there history of issues, the fact that he knows he will receive a long text...

Calamitousness · 12/05/2024 08:23

You were all drunk. Your problem is with the driver. Make a complaint to Lyft. Just let it go with your husband. Everyone can get a bit arsey sometimes.

Ace56 · 12/05/2024 08:25

If you really thought the driver was asleep, I would have shouted or shaken him. Also you’d be able to see by just leaning forward? If he wasn’t asleep you could have asked him to pull off at the next junction (shouted if necessary) - I wouldn’t have bothered with all the faff of changing the destination in the app.

However that being said, it does seem like your husband was taking a really relaxed attitude towards it all when it sounds like you were in danger - that would irritate me too.

NDmumoftwo · 12/05/2024 08:41

Your husband is an idiot. However a firm "take this exit and drop us off please" would have sorted it.

Sparkletastic · 12/05/2024 08:51

If he's worried about a long text I'd just send: 'You behaved like a dickhead last night'

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